[timberly]

hey everyone
I'm not asking for any professional help.. just some advice for me

okay, here goes

My parents get along most of the time, but they have their moments where they fight. Usually they just yell a lot.. but this time they've just ignored each other for days. My mom just had surgery, and she can't really do much. My dad goes out to golf like everyday.. and he's sort of become obsessed. My mom says she's lonely and depressed, and when she told my dad to stop golfing and to keep her company, I guess they both just blew up.
Today, I went into the history of my computer.. (my dad uses it too) and I found 3 korean internet dating sites.
I went into all of them to see what he was doing, and I found that he had an account on one of them. I was able to hack into one of his accounts because his password is always the same.. but honestly, I didn't know what to do.
I was thinking of emailing my brother and getting him to help out because he's much older than I am (I'm 15, he's in his mid 20's)
If I tell my mom, I'm afraid they're just going to split up, and I really don't want that.
I know they love each other..sometimes. But I don't know what to do with them.

Wow, it felt great to just write that all down.
I just need.. advice
Thanks guys

[bad boy]

dont worry about it, divorce are common these days

who knows, maybe your mom should try that datin website as well and find her compatibility :]

just let things happen, they dont get along

there no point i pursuing the relationship

[Melitus]

No matter what happen they are your mom and dad.
Your mother will find it out or sooner or maybe your dad will be the one propose the divorce.
If you checked around craigslist, there are lots of married men that want to see some benefits.
You may not see that now, but your dad seem like a dishonest man to me. I just feel bad for your mother, no such woman derserve a man like your dad. If he's the one that cause the hardship, so let be it. Ignore his whimps, and cry after he see how much he messed up.
What is more painful? living in a false relationship or having a daughter that kept secrets from her? it's for you to decide what's best.
I don't see such relationship to get any better, if your father are already pursuing love outside of his own.

[mintcracker]

hey hang in there alright? I know it's tough, it's the story of my life too

my parents are constantly arguing like daily

[a o i c h a n a o i]

Yea....
My parents are like that too...
My mom says she's bored of this
life and should've never married
my dad and never had kids (*rolls
eyes*).
Then she goes on about complaining
about how she doesn't have a social
life because of the kids (haha...she chooses
not too) and then she starts yelling at
me too....

Anyways....
You should tell your mom...or at least talk
to your dad about it...I mean, sooner or later,
your mom will find out about your dad's internet
dating stuff.

[derrek]

I believe the snooping you did is not appropriate. If he goes as far as cheating, she will find out, then they will decide what to do accordingly.

If your parents get to the point they're going to break up, trust me, they're doing it for their own happiness. If they can be happier apart, it's ok to have them divorce. It has nothing to do with you, so unfortunately, you have to let the adults handle their own business. You just have to try and remain happy throughout it, even though its hard.

[mikomi]

Sometimes, being apart is better. At least your parents arent like mine. Mine were arranged to marry, and being 'together' is like a business contract between families. Imagine growing up in THAT! They don't sleep in the same room, don't have conversations, don't have anything in common, and never go out together. One thing never changes, though. Parents will always love their children no matter what the situation is ( i'm taking this statement for granted, a bit) and I think if you asked your brother to help you handle this, It would be much better because he IS older and he is a guy- man to man talk.

I also think it's a shame that a father cannot be a good example to his children and you had to find him on dating sites like that, but this has happened to me as well. Imagine a 7 year old finding stashes of pron in her dad's room.

[her_heart]

why don't you keep her company so she won't feel so lonely?

[skim_milk]

your parents will unfortunately divorce later down the road if that keeps up. There isnt anything you can do to help the situation, they are adults they know what they are down. If your parents arae really traditional, they mite separate but still remain married.
My gf parents are like this now, her dad moved to the states to work,and the mom stayed in canada to wokr and take care of kids.

[apple.Bi]

^ ups her_heart

there's not much you could do really to make your parents get back together.
if he's acting as if nothing's happen, then i guess you'll just have to play along.
I'm sure your dad still loves your mom, he might be wanting a "time out" only just because your mom's relying more on him now that she's just got out from a surgery [prefectly reasonable], and has to take up "all the job around the house".
i hope its not that big deal, maybe your dad just couldnt switch to being THAT relied in such short notice.

well, that was a similar scenario i had last year. and yea, my dad just needed a time out, thats all. everything turn out fine finally and we're tight again
i hope your case wouldnt get any complicated..

in the mean time, keep her company, try helping out around the house, talk to both of them, crack jokes etc.. make him feel as the family is still here. good luck.

[insanelyCRAZY]

its between your parents...
you cant really do anything about it.
you can probably just ask your dad if he truly still loves his wife.
"daddy, do you still love mom?"
"dad, *smile* i love you...*kisses cheek*"
and see his reaction...
tell him that you love him and maybe he'll realize that he still loves his wife.
unless im wrong then... =/

maybe you should say something to your brother.
you're all family.

[ricearoni]

My parents are kinda like yours. My parents don't talk to each other much and don't really get along well now. My dad is always gambling and doesn't really give money to my mom to pay for the house and all the other expenses we have. Sometimes he doesn't even come home and he confessed to my mom that he slept with other women. My mom said she is tired of him and doesn't care what he does anymore. They are in bad terms but are still able to live with eachother. I hate being in my house sometimes because there is so much drama. My mom wants a divorce but still hasn't got the paperworks yet. My dad says he doesn't want to divorce because im still 17 and he doesnt wanna pay for child support and is only staying with the family because of the kids. but if he really doesnt want to be with my mom, why wait for a divorce? Recently police came to our house because my dad and brother got into an argument as my brother confronted him of his wrong doings and such. the police told us that what is going on between my parents is their problem not ours and it makes it worse that were involved. of course it affects me but theres nothing much i can do because its their problems and they have to fix it. but they are old already and they cant change. right now my family doesnt like my dad because he recently threatened to kill us (he literally held a screw driver against us) and broke the window in our house. everytime he gets mad he breaks something. he always says "its my house" and such and always says he has superior authority above everybody. im getting off topic, sorry i just really wanted to vent out. but i would just suggest to not get into their problems. just try to mind your own business even if their problems bother you.