[Torento <3]

Firstly, no, this is not some sob story about how I think I`m adopted; or that I `hate` my parents/family.

I am very grateful for everything, especially my parents, have done for me over the course of my lifetime.

However, as I`ve grown, I`ve become more and more distant from them. I don`t know any particular reason; for my father it`s understandable because of his mental illness and it`s at times quite hard for me to cope with. Not exactly the best `father figure` but I can`t put the entirety of the blame upon him; as he can`t help many of his actions.

My mother on the other hand is nothing but loving and caring. She`s sacrificed much for my siblings and I. I don`t know why I feel as if I`m drifting away from her, I don`t `want` to, but I don`t feel the closeness that I felt with her a few years ago.

I have three sisters, and one brother. Bar my brother, I don`t feel close with any of them. It`s like I can`t relate to them, our points of view are so different; our outlooks on life are also quite different.

I mean, I love my family, I really do. But I just want to live my own life; I at most times enjoy solace and I`m worried that when I move out (could be a matter of weeks, months or mid next year) I will lose most contact with them. But it`s something I want to force myself to do.

I`ve noticed something, my brother and I are the `intelligent` ones in the family. He is studying commerce with a major in economics; whilst I will be studying accounting early next year. I don`t know if this is related; but both he and I have a firm grasp upon critical thinking, we enjoy thinking outside of the box; why things come to be and talking about history. Whereas the rest of my family seem to be simplistic, just wanting to live a relatively peaceful and easy life. My brother also moved out to live in the `city`, however he is still very close with my mother.

Perhaps what I`m feeling is natural? As we grow older; of course we have to leave from our parents at some time or other, and as I realised over the past two or so years that I`ll be moving, perhaps my mind has slowly started getting ready to make the whole process easier?

[LOVE&FREEDOM_beautyofX]

I'm like you too. Idk sometimes I just feel distant while my parents and little sister seem close. My sister and I are the exact opposite and sometimes I feel like she gets all the love but anyway just don't feel like you're alone. Sometimes I feel liek the odd ball of the family..

[Torento <3]

Oh don`t get me wrong.

This isn`t about me being jealous about my other siblings receiving more `love` or anything like that. I don`t really care at all about that.

[terrorist]

it just means your growing older.
when your about 30-40 years old, you'll start going back to them.
right now you're at a age where your heart feels a little rebellious

[damyoungji]

I know I am part of the family, but I still feel like I am not based on how my siblings and I are treated differently.

For instance, when I used to have performances (dance, drama and music), I will have to beg my parents to come.
My dad will never come, while my mom will come if she has time, and if I really do a good job with the begging.
But when it comes to my siblings perform, they want everyone in the family to go and show support or something.

[xBonnie__]

yes, i feel that way too.
i feel like my older and younger sister have more in common which they do.
they are very good and they have good tempers.
while me.. im the total opposite!
i make my parents mad all the time and i cant help it because of my darn pmsing!

i love my family too. i try to connect with my sisters telling them that they can tell me everything.
i guess it's only sometimes when i feel distant from my family.
oh and i try to make them feel happy. but then, its like they wont listen to what i have to say T____T

its okay, i feel closer to my family now than before because before, i felt totally distant.

[Desda]

for once i don't think i've completely experienced this yet. or i'm beginning to.
i bet you're older.
heh.

altho i do highly dislike like most of the time.

[Torento <3]

It`s so difficult to explain.

These feelings have not been brought on by the treatment of me by my parents (besides the point mentioned before) or any possible `extra` attention given to my siblings. In all honesty, that does not bother me at all.

Because I can`t find a definitive reason for this I am becoming quite irritated with myself, trying to find out why.

[meilotus90]

Well, I'm the youngest kid in the family and me and my siblings never got along well because of the huge age gap. When I was younger, I spent a lot more time outside so yeah I used to feel out of place at home but I don't know I guess I've matured (a lot) and I'm actually very attached to my family now. It recently hit me that "this is my home"..haha.

I guess you just want a taste of independence. I had my share and I hated the times when I had to be alone. It's the reason why I appreciate my family more now. I know I can do whatever silly/stupid things I want and go back home and be accepted and loved.

[happiisunshin]

I have not felt as if I belonged to my family in years. Maybe when I was around elementary school age, but that's so far back I don't remember that feeling. I feel hostile and distant around them, and for a good reason too although I don't feel comfortable mentioning the cause.

I wish I know what it's like to have a "family" in the figurative sense.

[hipopdancer]

i feel distant with my family esp my parents because they seem to pay more attention to the younger one or the boys in the family.
and i've been independent since i was like 9 =/

[Pogichinoy]

People are different, even if those people are your family. Just because you're family doesn't mean you will have the same ideals, outlook in life, goals, intelligence, appearance, etc. It is not expected that you would.

Family defines who you live with, grow up with, learn from, etc.

[tofu plushie]

I love my family very much but, sometimes I feel a bit disconnected from them like I don't belong. It's probably because I feel like I can not reveal my true self out of fear of disappointment from them. My parents are very conservative in their morals and I just have a totally different mindset from them.

[kimchee1]

I feel the way same as you. As I've grown older I feel more distant with my parents and brother. It's because we're different, I'm more mature now and want to be independent, live on my own without em for a bit. It also has to do with the fact that I'm always out, and barely home.

[Torento <3]

I think I`m starting to understand.

At least what I`m feeling is somewhat `normal`, it sounds logical at least.

[jvu]

Eh.. That's not that bad..

I've pretty much been the maid and a boxing bag for my family since I was 10.
When they're pissed, they would come to me and beat me, or pinkberry me out for weeks for things that I didn't do.
Most of the time, I feel like a useless piece of crap..

I can't wait till I have enough money to move out of this hell house.

[aval-zo]

to answer your question: nah, I never felt like I was never part of the family. Everyone in my family has a role and I play an important role. "The Second Daughter" ^^

but I do feel that the connection with my family and I have diminish a little. We're not as close as we use to be. I guess, I sort of grew up and took a good look at the world and started seeing things differently from most of everyone in my family.

I was a pretty naive girl back then...pretty much living a "princess" life--sort of spoil, doesn't really care what's going on in the world, blab, blab....

then it seems like reality knock me over in the head and everything started to look different from my perspective....my sisters and I hardly have talk for the sisterly chat and gossip...

[natsurei]

I feel like that. And it's not because I hate my family either.

Although, since I'm the middle, not-so-smart child compared to my other 2 older sisters, and the youngest sister pretty much becomes the spoiled-with-love child. And my mom loves my other 2 older sisters because they have been much more smart and willing to bond.
But yeah, since I grew up with my parents barely there(bad father figure, supportive but barely there mother), and when they start wanting to bond(NOW), I tend to reject it.
It's always been like that and as I grow up, I become more independent and since I've never really felt the need to have a good relationship with them, because I was fine the last few years. But unlike my other sisters, they gave my parents the chance. I guess that's how I become more distant.

I think it's normal. As long as you're there when they need you and vice-versa. No problem.

[yamaki_LOVE]

oh W0W! yess ]:

basically I'm not as close to my parents well i think i was never nor was my sisters

but yeah I'm the 0DD one, basically I'm the quiet, shy & non-talkative & plus I'm ugly with acne "/ -sighs- & so i distance myself by staying in my room, hardly talking to classmate cause i know none of them & basically I'm the only asian in every class . .

whilist my sisters are talkative, pretty, clear & have friends [ well of course since I'm the middle child whereas I'm the opposite ]

& my family are like people i live with , they don't know how i really feel .. but its matureness i guess? L0L

but i don't hate them well jus my younger sister she a cheese nips but i do love my family & my parents sacrificed a lot for us three! & i mean they literally sacrifice for us! well not gonna lie but jus my mom my dad ehhh . ..

[`Koko]

I do feel that way sometimes!
But not really often. There are times when I feel I'm not a big part of my own family.
I'm really close to my mom and dad, and I've grown closer to my mom for the past year..
but sometimes I just feel too different from my family.
My brothers tend to stay home often, and don't really have any urges to go out or spend money.
They're happy just being on their laptops a lot of the times and playing FPS games and all of that. [ haha ! ]
But for me, I always want to go out and spend money.
And so my parents always criticize me for that, and compare me to my brothers,
saying I don't know anything and that even my brother who's 18 doesn't even go out as much as I do,
or spends as much as I do - but I can't help it. I always have an extreme part of me that always wants to go out
and just have fun.. and blow all of my money on things that I want and buy on impulse.
Also at times, I feel that I'm the one that's forgotten in my family.
Sometimes they'll go out without me, but when my little brother's not there,
we might not even go out at all until he comes back from wherever and all of that.
Not to mention .. everyone in my family is really, really skinny except for me.
And so I always feel so fat and stuff. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm the monster of sweets in my house -
I basically eat all of the sweets and junk food in the house.. while my brothers don't.

edit:
I'm also really close to my brothers, but yeah : )