[EdwardCTV]

This girl im with...

weve been talking for a year. in the beginning this were so awesome...she was incredibly sweet and adoring...sending me a million text messages a day
just really really sweet now i know some guys dont like that, but when ur in a relationship with someone u really like it is nice and it never comes off as annoying as one may think..

wel anyway then she had to move back home and that was like back in march and since then weve been trying to maintain a long distance relationship
shes goin to move back to california very soon, but we dont know the exact date

anyway we used to talk every single day on the phone but recently its not that way...things started getting rocky like in august the distance was really tearing us apart and we would fight w/ each other over the phone over stupid a55 sh*t and then the next day wed be cool again.

well all that fightin on and off really took its toll along with not being able to see each other. and one day she suddenly said "oh im not moving to california anymore"
that broke my heart bcause i was waiting for her...she basicaly didnt give a mini cooper and wanted to do what she wanted to do...eventually we broke it off and decided to take a "Friendly break"

during this time she went and started to date another guy which really hurt me. but of course i didnt really show it....i just played it cool ...now even though she was dating this new guy she would still keep calling me and flirt with me and i could sense that things between us were actualy better that we "broke up" than wen we were together

eventually she confessed that Im the only one she wants to be with and that she still gets excited when she sees my name on her phone callin her or texting her and she admitted that im the only one she wants to be with..

then we started talking regularly again and shed do cute things like get mad at me if id idnt call her right when i woke up etc. (like the old days)

she also told me that she was going to move to california again and that the plans are back on and...this is when she expected me to just pick up where we left off..i was kind of hurt because its like here we were planning all this stuff and she basicaly jsut said "oh well im not moving to ca" and now all of a sudden that shes changed her mind she expects me to just pick up where we left off

so she was mad that i had that perspective even though its completely logical to me. u cant just use me whenever u need emotional support and then dump me when u decide that u dont like me anymore and then try to get back w/ me when u want me again. dont u guys think so?

but she was being so sweet to me so that morning i sent her a secret package..

that night we talked again and got in a fight over some bullsh*T living arrangement that she expects that i shoudl just comit to even though were not officially together.

we didnt talk for a couple days and guess what at 12 am in the morning one day she sends me a text saying "hi" "whatr u doing?" fkin bullsh*T
i ignored it


finally by the end of the next night i couldnt take it anymore and i called her back. and she was being very sweet to me but once again we got into the discussion of "picking up where we left off" and she got pised at me again and said that this time she was serious and that she was never talking to me.


well a couple days pass and remember that secret package i sent her, she got it in the mail and texts me "thanks for the package its so nice of you. but i really dont think we should talk"

i was livid. pissed. but oh well life goes on

the next week she sends me a text saying she needs to talk to me. and she confesses to me that she wants me back officially and that she wants us to call each other 3 x a day and JUST like how it was in the early days.

i was a bit apprehensive b/c it was so sudden and just last week she told me she never wanted to talk to me again.
well then i found out that she was coming to california and needed a place to stay

anyway needless to say i let her stay with me but during the whole time i could sense that she was very distant...
it drove me crazy because i epxected her to act a certain way towards me since she made that huge confession

now things are back like to how they were when we first broke up im just so freaking confused and hurt and i feel like shes so hypocritical, bipolar, and etc.

its hard to get over it...i feel mad just talking about it right now i have no idea whats going on in that head of hers and its driving me crazy

who do u think is in the wrong guys? me or her?

[Harbl]

Things sound like they really ain't working out, and I don't want to sound overly harsh, but just take the initiative and stop talking to her.

[Nana544]

You guys are both wrong. Confuse miscommunication are making you both mad at each other.
Its really up to you if you want to remain friends with her.
From what you describe, it seems to me that she only wants you when no one is with her...kinda like she's using you.

[ShadowMax76]

get her side of the story.
more or less... tell her what you see. and see where she can correct you.


Communication. as they said.
i don't believe anything can be sorted out by avoiding it, because it'll just come back again and again.. as you've said and tried to tackle.

_ if you want to do it diplomatically, put away your emotions and put her to some test of logic in a calm manner..

[EdwardCTV]

get her side of the story.
more or less... tell her what you see. and see where she can correct you.


Communication. as they said.
i don't believe anything can be sorted out by avoiding it, because it'll just come back again and again.. as you've said and tried to tackle.

_ if you want to do it diplomatically, put away your emotions and put her to some test of logic in a calm manner..

the thing is when SHE wants to talk about it she expects me to listen
but when i want to talk about things she just gets annoyed and says "oh why cant we just do things without always having to talk about them lets jus b normal"
meanwhile a week ago she practically told me shes in love with me

it just doesnt make sense

can anyone else sympathize with me in dealing with someone in a relationship who is completely seemingly bipolar?!

[myxo]

It's not about being wrong or right. To fight over trivial matters and not have those fights improve your relationship is emotionally draining. It's a sign of incompatibility.

My ex and I were completely normal around other people, but around each other, we were bipolar freaks. We'd fight over things not worth fighting about, get into arguments about things that happened decades ago, so on and so forth. We couldn't get along enough to save our relationship, and it ended there. No matter how much you like someone, and even despite how attached you are to that person, you'll eventually snap if your relationship is ultimately giving you more heartaches than happiness.

[juki_love]

Clearly she has not faced the issues you brought up with her so the relationship you have with her is not getting anywhere. I usually don't tell people to let go, but in this situation I think you should given the number of times you've tried to make it work with her. Otherwise if she really wants to make it work she should really face the issues that broke you guys up in the first place.

[smpilova]

She's just using you to have a place to stay at...

[babybuggyY2K]

imo she's taking advantage of you. i dont think she loves you anymore. but i can also sense that a part of her doesnt want to let go yet even though she doesnt love you like she did before... so yea she basically doesnt know what the hell she wants yet

[l1lvi3tqt]

omg. i know how you feel about the LD. but seriously i dont think you two gonna work out. your gf 's emotion is not stable. maybe she doesnt even know what she wants.

[thua]

imo she's taking advantage of you. i dont think she loves you anymore. but i can also sense that a part of her doesnt want to let go yet even though she doesnt love you like she did before... so yea she basically doesnt know what the hell she wants yet

Agreed.
She just keeps going back and forth with her decisions. Reading OP's post was like.... wow, when is she going to make up her mind? lol.

Since we only have your perspective, your post made her sound completely stubborn and illogical. lol.

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

from what you said so far...

she seems to be the one with the problem.


but then......did you really expect things to just get 'normal' after you guys split and split again? she needed a place to stay. you LET her. in fact, you LET her come back to you whenever she wants, and then you get mad at her about it.

she's got her faults im sure, but you've got to take up some responsibilities too and just shut her out of your life and move on. i don't think you guys are good for each other. not even friends because none of you really understand the meaning of 'no'.

[Fui]

Sounds familiar.
I'm currently in the same situation. My boyfriend and I fight so much. Its more or less a monthly thing nowadays. I try really hard to play it cool when he piss me off but the funny thing is he turns around saying it's my fault that the fight started. It is emotinally draining and it makes me feel empty all of the time. I often sit and ponder where did my fun, loving boyfriend go and how come I'm stuck with this person who doesn't understand me as a person. However, I've been trying hard to let him off the hook and be more tolderate towards him. It's slowly working but the emptiness instide me still remains. I don't know if I can ever be genuinely happy around him.

There are two things you can do in your current situation.
One, suck it up and continue on like this but try talking to her and make her understand your side of the story or
Two, break it off and be free.

[Shikabane Hime]

She's spoiled. That's all I'll say.
You really want to be with someone that doesn't consider your thoughts/feelings?

[infifinity]

it's hard to tell who's right or wrong when we havent heard her side of story but from what you said, it seems like she doesn't love you as much as you love her or maybe it's difficult for her to make a long distance relationship work since you don't see each other and there can always be a guy near her trying to win her heart. When things started getting rocky, that was perhaps when she met another guy that she dated later on when you two broke up. So when things didn't work out with him, she came back to you.

This is where you have to make a decision. If you think this is unfair for you and you don't want to take her back, then you have to really shut her out of your life cause it's hard to move on if she keeps calling and flirting with you. But if you love her that much that you are willing to forgive and forget, then maybe give her another chance and see if it could work this time.

[EdwardCTV]

from what you said so far...

she seems to be the one with the problem.


but then......did you really expect things to just get 'normal' after you guys split and split again? she needed a place to stay. you LET her. in fact, you LET her come back to you whenever she wants, and then you get mad at her about it.

she's got her faults im sure, but you've got to take up some responsibilities too and just shut her out of your life and move on. i don't think you guys are good for each other. not even friends because none of you really understand the meaning of 'no'.

i let her come back because shewas literally on the phone crying telling me how sorry she was and how she needs to be more mature (shes barely 21)
and i really felt like she meant what she said.

i even said to her "ok how do i know ur going to change"

and she asid "i am because once i put it out there i will for sure change"

and guess what a week later back to her old ways.

its soo hard for me to let her go i really like her i feel like im in love with her .

[Shikabane Hime]

i let her come back because shewas literally on the phone crying telling me how sorry she was and how she needs to be more mature (shes barely 21)
and i really felt like she meant what she said.

i even said to her "ok how do i know ur going to change"

and she asid "i am because once i put it out there i will for sure change"

and guess what a week later back to her old ways.

its soo hard for me to let her go i really like her i feel like im in love with her .

So then it's your problem, cause you know what you should do, but you can't do it.
Then the real help you're asking for is how you should move on, not what you should do in this situation or who is in the wrong.

[EdwardCTV]

Agreed.
She just keeps going back and forth with her decisions. Reading OP's post was like.... wow, when is she going to make up her mind? lol.

Since we only have your perspective, your post made her sound completely stubborn and illogical. lol.

she does keep going back and forth

one minute she wants to move to ca next she wants to finish college in one state then next day its college in another state
then its f**k it all and move to ca

then she wants to be with me and then she doesnt n its driving me so insane but its really hard for me to just go out and meet other people because im in love with this girl

[Rekidai]

if you are considering it i think you should both sit down and talk about it tell her seriously that you guys have to talk about it fairly and not just one side, and decide no one here can tell you to get over her or anything because even though we know the whole situation its up to you if you want to sacrifice the happy times because there are bad times. Relationships will always be rocky and fine. Heck i remember when me and my bf were like that too and we would fight constantly about trivial things. So just have a long discussion and decide on things

[EdwardCTV]

if you are considering it i think you should both sit down and talk about it tell her seriously that you guys have to talk about it fairly and not just one side, and decide no one here can tell you to get over her or anything because even though we know the whole situation its up to you if you want to sacrifice the happy times because there are bad times. Relationships will always be rocky and fine. Heck i remember when me and my bf were like that too and we would fight constantly about trivial things. So just have a long discussion and decide on things

i tried she kind of avoids it everytime and says shes really busy and doesnt want to deal with "Extra sh*t" right now
meanwhile i see that shes logged on to myspace and whatnot ok so someone isnt too busy.
i just dont understand if she doesnt want me anymore why not just say it why keep strining me along

u girls all say guys are dogs but girls play TOO manyy games