[dataxunknown]

Well, I apologize for this being my first post I know nobody really knows me I'm kinda new here, but I have been a member of soompi for a little while just never posted anything

My girlfriend of about a year and 10 months have broken up, but after we broke up we were still together in a way, just didn't have that title. I had to get my life together because I had financial situations and kinda just needed a break because of hard times. Well, I have made mistakes in the past, nobody is perfect, I don't want to call myself a cheater, but I have cheated on her and told her about it. That was a long time ago. Well about 2 months after actually breaking up, things were going well and all, but then she was getting that feeling of she doesn't want to wait any longer.

Then she cheated on me, but told me about it (with one of my best friends) after asking her over and over. So after about 5 days or so of cooling off, I guess I kinda messed up and let it get to my head and cheated on her. And that was the biggest mistake of my life. I loved her so much, and I let it all get to my head that she did that and didn't think twice when I was hanging out with this certain girl. It didn't mean anything, but this girl went and bragged about it so everyone found out.

So she pretty much hated me for doing that, along with all of my friends, she kept telling me after that happened that she wanted to put herself out there and have fun in college not have to worry about me, you know live the single life. I can't let her go, I love her so much and I think about her 24/7. A lot of the things I say to her she won't believe, which is understandable because I've broken promises before. The whole thing about her "hooking up" with my best friend, well I told that to the girl I hooked up with and I promised I wouldn't tell anyone because it would ruin a lot. Only a very few selected individuals know about her and what she did, and well I was very unstable and emotional for awhile and I just told the girl I hooked up with.

And well, I broke that promise, and it caught up with me a couple days ago she told people and it got out, and now all I can do is deny its true to try and save all the agony and pain. Nobody believes it's true, which I guess is good for her sake and for others, but right when I thought my ex was slowly coming back, even just hinting the smallest amount, just being nice to me for once, after she hears that I broke the promise of not telling anyone, she now wants nothing at all to do with me.

It is hard on me because I can't call her anymore, no texting, no nothing. I can't stop thinking about her and tommorow, well I guess now today is my birthday and I'm extremely bummed out all this happened. It's ruining my focus on everything, at work I'm very dull, I go crazy with my driving because of frustration, it's eating away at me. I don't want to let her go, I love her so much and I see so much to enjoy for us in the future.

I thank you if you read all of that...I know it's a lot, but I appreciate it. I'm going through a lot right now and I feel like my life is just crashing down on me a second time.

[JJ no Baka]

if you think about it, you kind of screwed yourself over. since you broke up with her because you wanted to get away with with financial stress etc. if you were having trouble with money, i'm sure if you talked it out with your girlfriend, she would have understand and you two would not have broken up and ended up like this.

all you can do is move on. life goes on. you will too.

[Fui]

Let me get the story straight. You cheated on your ex, then told her about it. She accepted it and then you broke up with her due to financial issues? Ok, then she had another relationship with someone else? I can't say its cheating because its not since you guys are not together anymore. Then you said that you had a "something something" going on with another girl and she found out? I don't really see anything being wrong since you guys are not officially together anymore. Its not called cheating that way, but rather dating around...? There's nothing wrong with that picture.
Your only mistake was breaking up and still continued to treat each other the same but without the title.

[dataxunknown]

I understand what you mean by screwing myself over yes, I do feel that way. I mean I guess I can honestly admit that I created a mess, and everytime I try to fix things it just gets worse. Yeah it's not exactly cheating on each other because we don't have the title, but we were still both worked up about it. And I do admit, it was a mistake breaking it off with her in the first place rather than just asking her for some space. But I mean, she still saw it the same way I did afterwards. I was just going to get a new job and pay off a little debt, which she was supporting me 100% of the way...

[cannedpeaches]

i think you need to move on. sometimes when things get screwed up to the point of no return its like the universe telling you its just not meant to work out...

[Flicksityy]

The whole thing about her "hooking up" with my best friend, well I told that to the girl I hooked up with and I promised I wouldn't tell anyone because it would ruin a lot.

That's a broken promise already. If you really knew your place, you should had kept everything to yourself.
You're the one who screwed up, no one can blame her for not wanting anything to do with you.
I believe it's time to move on, even if you get back with her, do you think she will forget about all mistakes you've done?

Mistakes are human nature, yes. But there are ways to prevent them, but it doesn't seem as though you did any of that.

Happy Birthday though.

[dAN.c]

^^^dam you sound like his mother

I think that since you guys weren't official you should try talking to her, unless she like builds like a john teshin wall between you guys

if she doesn't give up on hatin on you...I really think you should try to move on, even if you'll break you, because that sounded like a mini cooperload of mistakes...but maybe she's forgiving (i wouldnt know)

good luck with ya man

[RYUUSEi]

You're basically screwed when it comes to this chick.

First off, you cheated on her during the actual relationship, then you break up with her because of "hard times" that really has nothing to do with your relationship at all (?) but you still did it. Then you "cheat" on her during the unofficial period of you two, but things seemed to be OK after a while despite that. But then you go and break the promise of not letting other people in on her personal secret that must NOT be spread around.

I'm having a hard time believing you actually DO love her as much as you say because of these actions.

Well, if she doesn't want anything to do with you, then there's nothing you can do about it. You'll just have to live with this regret for the rest of your life. I hope you at least learned something from this experience. Don't cheat, don't break promises and don't lie to girls you claim to love oh-so dearly.

If I were her, I'd be loading my gun if I saw you approachin' so it would be best if you stayed away from her until she cools off and maybe in the future, you two can be awkward friends that had a thing going on a few years back - that is, until you screwed things up and lost her.

[dataxunknown]

I appreciate the happy birthday from "Flicksityy". Thanks for the responses...yeah I messed up and your right I have to live with it. I understand how it must seem, and all of my actions have showed to be very poor on my part and showing no love whatsoever. All I can do is keep holding on with my life and just try to get by with living. It gets to me all the time...every mistake I made eats away at me more and more. There were a lot of little things that I've done for her that I did not include in my story, just cute little things here and there. But deep down I really love her, I can't change my actions from the past, but I can prevent them from happening in the future. I'm very weak emotionally and mentally. And no my birthday isn't going so well. Sorry to be so negative and down, I was just looking for opinions on what others thoughts were, and maybe a little help on what do to.

[princesspoppy]

Well its very obvious, she doesn't want anything to do with you.

So my only advice for you is: m o v e o n.

Some of the ways of moving on consists of:
~Drowning yourself in alcohol, which might lead to drunk dialing your ex
~Listening to sad music, I recommend: When You're Dreaming With a Broken Heart by John Mayer