[xfeistybabe]

Sorry for the long read guys... bold part for the most important info.

I've never had an official boyfriend until recently, just flings here and there, and unofficial or on-the-down-low relationships. But let's just say I was a promiscuous party girl back then... until I realize what I'm doing and I guess I'm a pretty good girl now. I just recently broke up with my first official boyfriend, and I really want to get back with him...

We met at a party on November 15th 2008. We got together real quick, a week after we met each other. We're both known as the illest players. He knows about my past, and I know of his. At first, I didn't really like him, but I realized how nice he was treating compared to the other guys I've stayed true to only to never achieve the official title as their girlfriend. And I guess I felt it was time for me to feel really loved. Over time, my feelings for him grew. We live 35miles apart, and I don't drive so taking the train takes two hours. Being a nice guy, he'll always drive me back and fourth to where ever I wanted. He was a real gentleman, treating me to food, and things like that. He's a bad boy, acts hard outside with his boys and stuff, but with me, he's really nice. But because of his reputation, I was a very clingy girlfriend. I was constantly checking up on him and flipped out over smallest things. I'd admit, I was a crazy girlfriend, and too overprotective. And he wasn't like that with me though.

So we broke up partly because of facebook and this exgirlfriend.
One day, I was on facebook and realized his status read: Enoch Wu is staying in NY until she gets here =] Tomorrow! I was really weirded out so I went on his facebook to check out who's this she he's talking about. He never wrote a status for me, so this girl must really be something. He wrote to a girl saying something along the lines of: hell yeah, baby girl coming back! Now I had a chat with him about there's only one baby, one hunnie, one sweetie, one whatever the hell you can name, and that's me. Then I realized the info box underneath the facebook profile picture? He deleted a line that I wrote which was our est. date and my name. He also hid his relationship status that's displayed on the left boxes. I was thinking, is he trying to hide me by not letting these est dates and stuff show up on his facebook? So I asked him, who was this girl you writing about in your status? And he explained to me it was his first girlfriend and best female friend. They lost contact for four years because she moved to Canada, but she's coming back for a visit, and he's going to pick her up from the airport. I said oh okay, I understand and never said anything else about it. Then the following day, I kept calling him (mainly to check up on him) but used the excuse of asking when he's going to deliver my cellphone back. He was with one of his kids and his cousin and they went for a car wash when I called. Now I been bugging him for weeks worth of time to get it, but now he finally does, which leads me to think, why are you cleaning it now? So that you can look fresh for her? But I still never said anything. He finally said my phone calls got annoying and I hung up. According to his cousin, he dropped both of them off, and then picked her up at 8PM. I was wondering, why couldn't they just tag along, it's just picking her up. Anyways he promised to deliver my phone at a later time at night so when it was 3AM, I called to check what happened with that. Never picked up the phone until at 4AM, his kid tells me via message that my boyfriend got arrested and he's in the bookings. I was very worried, and couldn't sleep, wondering what had happened. I didn't go to school the next day because I was too tired, and decided to stay at home to wait for him to call me back.

When he finally did, I found out he got arrested for getting two car tickets... Is that even possible? Then I asked where he went with his ex after he picked her up and told me they had a one on one dinner at some fancy restaurant his boy had told him to go to. I have never had a dinner date with him like that, maybe cause we are still early on in our relationship, but it made me feel uncomfortable. But I never said anything about it because I don't want to flip out on something small again and result in a major argument. Next day, I tried to log into his facebook account and the password didn't work. On AIM, I posted an away message that read: Just six more days, why does it seem like we can't even make it to that?! He IMs me and tells me silly you, Christmas is in nine more days. And I just couldn't take it anymore... All the things I didn't tell him about just piled up and I had to burst. In six more days it was our one month. We started arguing and stuff, and I told him I felt like I was the only one putting in effort. It sounded like we were about to break up. So I used a friend's facebook account and messaged him: hey I think you're cute, are you single? And he replied: that was random, yeah just turned single. He realized it was me ten minutes after and said nice try, now I'm single for sure cause you're pulling off some shady mini cooper using some other girl's account to test me. Big name calling kinda light hearted teasing on the side conversation continued from 2AM - 4AM. Crazy.

Next day, I met up with him to get my phone back. He tried to talk to me in the car, but I refused. Then he drove off madly. I told him he'll never get me back and acted cocky with him. An hour or so later at a party, I texted him and asked if he had wanted to talk finally since I'm in a good mood now. He said he was busy but he came up later with Terrence because Terrence had to talk with his sister who happened to be at the same party I'm at. But we never talked. And he left. And I also never complained about the other things about facebook and stuff.

I'm trying so hard not let it bug me, and think maybe if I don't call him now, he'll finally have the time to miss me. And we'll hopefully get back together. But I left my phone at my friend's house again, so I can't reach him... What can I do to save this relationship? Is it worth saving? Is he true to me? I really want to get back with him... I just can't watch my first relationship fail like this! Thanks for putting the effort into reading this... Greatly appreciated!

[War_Machine]

Whats there to save? Your a month into a relationship with a PLAYER. He sounds like a terrible boyfriend. You say he puts on a front when hes with his boys but true to you, but its the opposite. He fakin and spittin his game to you. You sound like a smart girl, find yourself a real man and let him play alpha male with his buttbuddies.

~I cant believe I read that whole thing!

[derrek]

We're both known as the illest players.

HAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry, that was hilarious to me.

[Jah nee nee x]

^Ditto on the reading the whole post thing.

I'm pretty sure the whole being nice and acting like a gentleman is part of a player's persona, but I dont know the guy so then again ..
You seemed a bit clingy as a girlfriend, but it seemed like you had a really good reason to be. I would be suspicious if I were you too in your situation, but maybe not to the point of calling him so often.
I'm guessing that he was still pretty hurt at the party, maybe you should give it more time for both of you to cool off if you really want him back.
Good luckk

[mojomunkeez]

tl;dr
Learn how to grow up.

[syj4kjw]

i really think hes not worth it at all and u r wasting ur time.
if u contact him first, he will think u r really desperate and even if u guys start to go out after that, he will take advantage on u that u like him soooo much and he will do whatever he wants to do, kinda a like spoilt brat.
if u want to make him regret on the things he has done, i advise u that u just show him how happy u r when u are chattin or havin fun with other guys and so on. (this is an old trick, but it really works.. well it did on me with my ex before)
if he really was in to u, this would make him jealous and maybe he would want to work on the relationship.

[mintcracker]

first of all, I get you're paranoid, but tone down on the clinginess.

I felt suffocated just reading that. I think two players dating is a bad idea. It doesn't seem to be working out.

[Fui]

Eh, just move on.
Forget about him. If he can hide his status on something like facebook, he can hide you from real life as well.
No point in staying with him.

[be_mellow]

You can and will find a better guy than him.....

[D R E A M]

okay first, the clinginess has tone down. You sound really clingy in the post.

second, i seriously think you put in more effort than him. You sound dedicated, and he sounds like he's playing around.
If you like him that much, then I guess like everyone said, you can give some time.

But i seriously don't think he's worth it at all.

[tranceeee]

sounds like you already broke up to me... but i could be misinterpreting everything. i dont think he's gonna miss you too because apparently, he's a player.

i agree with D R E A M. you have to tone down with ur clinginess... you actually sounded abit paranoid to me, because when you guys were in the earliest stages of your relationship you always called him to check up on him, and well, i think that might be alittle bit too much.

[the;andro]

he's sure a great player.

ithought you are a great player,you should know his tricks.
and players hate clingy people, dont you too?

if you really want this to work out, give him space to do what he wants, dont keep breathing down his neck and stop him from goingout with other people. talk it out with him truthfully, dont play stupid things like msging him with your friend's facebook account, thats not cool

[PhuongNguyen]

LOL, no offense but you let me think that you guys have been out for months or even years, then when I read "Our 1 month is coming up in 6 days" I was just O.O

Not trying to put you down sweetie, but you guys haven't even been together for 1 month. Get over it and find a new guy because it's quite obvious that your boyfriend is damn rather infelicitous. Find a guy who isn't a player, a guy who put YOU before anything else. Isn't it obvious that he doesn't really care about you? I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and if he ever treat me the way your boyfriend treats you, I would've drop his ass within a second.

You can try to be back together with him, but chances are... the guy is an idiot and these kind of problems will come up once again.

[twig*star]

So basically he's your first true one ....

And the other girl is his first stay faithful one .....

Err no chance. Move on.

[xfeistybabe]

Thanks a lot for those who read and replied with real advice~! Yeah, I admit I am a bit too needy/clingy for him... I was truly really paranoid. But I do realize that, and I'm willing to change that. He does introduce me to his friends and everyone does know that I was going out with him. This whole shady facebook stuff just happened recently... feels like it's my fault cause I'm pushing him away with my clingy-ness. Remember, this is my first real relationship, the first time I'm so darn dedicated to someone, so I don't want to just have it end like this! I want to settle down, I've had enough fun and games. We already broke up, but it was because I was too stubborn to have the make up talk with him... and now I feel really guilty for not taking that chance and letting him explain. Yes, it would be like I'm desperate if I contact him first so these past few days, I have not been contacting him at all, but sad thing is, neither has he. I personally hate people who are clingy as well, but it's only if they're the type of people that I'm just playing, and not care for them at all. I know how this player game works. I'm sure if I'm not dedicated into this guy, I would be out drinking with a bunch of dudes who has intentions of getting with me. I want to get back with him without having to look needy again, how can I do that?

[l1lvi3tqt]

why are you still holding on? move oon. you dated a player. you should know this would happen.

[Flicksityy]

Sorry to say this, but your mood swings are freaky to read.

First you tried to go into his facebook, then used your friends' and acted as her, then you shouted at him and refused to talk to him, then the next moment you acted like a puppy dog begging to talk to him.

Sorry to say this, but you're awfully clingy. If you can't trust him, then why do you want him back?

[hishari]

The relationship hasn't even lasted a month yet.....

[TiNY_AzN_GiRl]

If you think that you're at a stage where you want to go in a serious relationship don't waste your time with the dude. Seriously sometimes we try and put so much effort but it seems to be one sided.. I had similar situation where this person would constantly lie. Like at the begining the trust was there but as time went on I thought is it me that's being paranoid. I'm not the type of person to show off that I'm taken but when I am I want it to be clear. I expect the other party to know that he is in a relationship and that if people would ask or if girls would flirt he had to be direct. This person would be so secretive about phone calls, messages, facebook and so on... and at one point I got ticked off and I thought what the hell is wrong.. like I had the feeling he'd declare himself being single if girls would ask and that he'd be going out on "one on one" dates when I wasn't around. He'd just basically never tell me and pretend that he's somewhere else with "friends". To make the story short at the end it piled up and I exploded. Although I wanted things to work out the trust was just plain gone... Everytime he would tell me something I'd think a lie and another lie and a relationship is based on trust so I ended it there. It wasn't even a question of me loving him. We weren't on the same level and just lying to yourself that things could work out would just hurt more in the long run. Although it took me a while to start getting use to new routines, I don't regret my decision. It's only a matter of time and plus if you're honestly looking for a serious relationship, I'm sure there's a lot of fish out there that wants the same thing.

[I Cook With A Flashlight]

Isnt that the point of a player? To get some girls by doing stuff, and then drop em' when he is done?