[chiyo]

so what do you guys do, if you get to know a guy (let's say at work, school or whereever).
he seems like a cool guy, so you wanna be friends with him. however you're not interested
into dating him, just friends.

i just treat them guys like i would treat any other female friend. no cuddling, no flirting, i even
mention stuff like "hey i'm not looking for a boyfriend right now". but at the end most
of the guys still end up misunderstanding me and wanting more X_X ... my tactic doesn't seem
to be working too well lol.

maybe i'm worrying too much. at the end it's not my fault when guys misunderstand.
but it still bugs me X_X

so how do you guys make sure, guys don't misinterpret you when you just wanna be friends
with them?

[hippiehop]

Not to sound mean but I don't think its necessary to go that extra mile just to make sure they know you aren't interested... if you treat everyone the same, why would it be your fault he reads it wrong?

[Laxntiga]

Look him in the eye and say "Im sorry if you feel like I led you on, but I just wanted to be friends."

Be firm about it, be serious.

If that fails, tell them you have a bf.

[chiyo]

Not to sound mean but I don't think its necessary to go that extra mile just to make sure they know you aren't interested... if you treat everyone the same, why would it be your fault he reads it wrong?

yeah, that's what i was thinking, too.
it still bugs me though. it makes me feel like i was giving them wrong hints
and being the bad girl, who plays around with their feelings. (when i didn't)

[bujahwee]

yes, i agree to the message above. makes lotta sense....

[donporkuloin]

Be firm, be serious, and say it off the bat. Also, don't ask for advice about other guys to them.

[Fui]

What's your definition of flirting?

[ShadowMax76]

- befriend guys who are of that age where they don't fall for any girl that walks past them
- don't act as close as you would with your girl friends... there has to be some distance and a lil awkwardness... _ otherwise someone will end up thinking "finally. someone of the opp. sex i can relate to. oh wait. o-o' what's this feeling? " Lol ... if they're the newbies. of course.. falling for anyone who they can feel close to

_that's just avoiding..
to tell them.. saying you have a bf? lol. x_X' or.. only ever needing them for objective purposes.

guys are friends with each other because they either want to kill boredom together [games] or get a free meal [someone has to pay LOl]

o-O' well. somewhat. [perhaps it's just me xD

[Meenuh]

You can just tell them you just wanna be friends. Or maybe you're the one that's reading them wrong.

[smartypantalon]

I was just put in this kind of situation a couple weeks ago.
It's a damn awkward one too, haha.
The only different part was that he didn't know that I knew. He confided in my best friend and asked for her advice. Thank god for my best friend-- she called me right up and told me everything, lol.

Anyway, because I didn't want to completely crush the guy to pieces by being all super staunch and rejecting-- I kept reminding him of how AWESOME of a FRIEND he was and how LUCKY I was the have such a good FRIEND, since BOYS/RELATIONSHIPS are so FLEETING.

While we were on the topic of friends, naturally it just shifted to me saying something about how I wouldn't risk a great friendship for a finite relationship.
He got the clue & even agreed with me.

Hopefully things will get less awkward for you.
Remember to just be normal.

[ms. rachellica]

recently, i've gone thru this a lot. nd like hippiehop if ur treating everyone else the same way, it's not ur fault they're misinterpreting u. if they're tryna pursue u despite the fact that u jus wanna be friends, then they're not really worth it. like i've found one guy friend who i've chilled with and talked about deep shizz with one on one who didn't try to get down my pants nd i was really grateful to have a friend like him.

[~ BunnyliciouS ~]

say it firmly that you only see him as a friend

"Hey I'm not looking for a bf right now", it's implied as, "i'm not looking for a bf right now, but you have the chance to be the one in the future if you can woo me."

[Shikabane Hime]

Cause your tactic doesn't work. Most guys have learned that, when it comes to women:

No means yes
Yes mean no
I want more = I don't want anymore

By saying "you're not looking for a bf," he's thinking "she's playing hard-to-get, I better make the move."

[snooky7o2]

Tell him hes like a lil brother to you or big brother if hes older. Keep repeating it, until he gets the point.

[chiyo]

thanks for your replies so far

What's your definition of flirting?

flirting to me is when you show clearly, that you're interested. i'm not the type, who plays around with subtle hints lol.
eye contact, body contact, all that stuff.

- befriend guys who are of that age where they don't fall for any girl that walks past them

and that is when? i've met guys past their 30s and they'd fall for any girl X_X

I was just put in this kind of situation a couple weeks ago.
It's a damn awkward one too, haha.

gosh, that's exactly the same situation i've been twice past month. it's so damn awkward.
plus, if he doesn't know that you know it... it's so awkward to make him understand,
you just wanna be friends... but at the same time pretend you don't know about his feelings X_X

recently, i've gone thru this a lot. nd like hippiehop if ur treating everyone else the same way, it's not ur fault they're misinterpreting u. if they're tryna pursue u despite the fact that u jus wanna be friends, then they're not really worth it. like i've found one guy friend who i've chilled with and talked about deep shizz with one on one who didn't try to get down my pants nd i was really grateful to have a friend like him.

yeah, agreed

Cause your tactic doesn't work. Most guys have learned that, when it comes to women:

No means yes
Yes mean no
I want more = I don't want anymore

By saying "you're not looking for a bf," he's thinking "she's playing hard-to-get, I better make the move."

lol... sometimes i'm starting to think that's exactly what some guys seem to be thinking lol.

[TotalCamwhore]

Say it straight out.

"I only want to be friends"

Do it seriously, the guys won't take offence.
He'd thank you for being straight forward rather than leading him on.

Trust me.

[hiswendy]

I avoid the person. It's easy, it's cowardly, it's perfect for me.

[Apl420]

Change your facebook status to "Interest in women". They'll back off lol