[rich.paekk]

1) How did you become interested in this school and why do you think you will be sucessful?

My interest of attending Boston University was mainly sparked by one of my close friends who is currently a freshman in BU. She has told me that my personality would fit perfectly in your school due to various reasons. First, I am attracted to the city-life campus surrounding your school, and all the rich activities surrounding it. Secondly, I desire to start my college life with a new life, and so Boston, would be the perfect place, not too close or not too far, from my rual home, Virginia. I will be successful in your school, because with all the perfect tools given, I will strive to further my education.

[ronmexico]

The first sentence should probably read "My interest in attending Boston University was sparked primarily by one of my close friends, a freshman at BU (alternatively, you could end with "who enrolled at BU this fall")."

Instead of saying "due to various reasons" in the second sentence, say "for a number of reasons."

The third sentence doesn't make a lot of sense. If I were going to re-write it, I think I would say something like, "I am attracted to the university's setting: a vibrant urban environment offering a wealth of cultural activities and experiences." But you should write whatever you want, just make it more coherent.

In the next sentence, drop the part about "starting college life with a new life" because it's awkward. You might say, "I want to forge a new identity and begin a new life in college" or something like that. Then end the sentence and have the next sentence be "Boston would be the perfect location, not to close or too far (don't repeat 'not') from my home in rural Virginia."

You might want to start the final sentence with "I am certain that I will be successful" instead of just saying that you'll be successful. Instead of saying "perfect tools given," you should probably say something like, "the wonderful opportunities presented."

[hyerim07]

Just a few suggestions:

- your answer is too generic. BU receives thousands of applications, and the majority are going to say something along the points you have made.
- try not to say "first," "second," etc.etc. be concise, but not so concise as to cut out meaning from your essay.

[ronmexico]

^This is probably true. While I don't think BU really cares very much about these, and just makes you write them to demonstrate a real interest in the school, you could talk more about what your friend has actually told you about her experience rather than just mentioning the fact that you have a friend there and then listing generic things.

[AiLing]

^ Agree with the above advice.

Also, since colleges are first and foremost educational institutions, try to add in what specific programs/departments you are interested in, and how you would be a good match for them.

[chibifry]

You know why these colleges have these short answer shizz? to see your PERSONALITY

you sound like a machine
edit it