[wees2dee]

Well the title says it all, he's always working, he currently took up a full time/manage job cus were are on holidays, he works in at safeway btw.
He was working 6 days a week for like 11-13 hours during christmas week and said that after christmas it will die down, but he's still workig like 11 hour shift for like 5 days!

The only time we talk is on the phone at night and those dont last very long cus either one of us gets tired. on his day's off i have to work, i just started so i cant bail out on work and its usually on for like 4-5 hours. And when we do manage to go out on his days off, i feel bad cus he looks soo tired and im here dragging him out.
I dont wanna sound like the needy type or anything but i often wonder what if this happens in the future? we've been dating for a year and a half, not sure if there IS a future for us, but like if in the future he's working more hours and i'll be working full time, will there be any time for our relationship? Will he be working late nights while im at home sleeping alone?

I dont wanna bother him about it. if i was to ask which was more important.. he would say me... but then if i were to say.. could you possibly take a day off, i know he wouldnt.
So in the end, no point telling him about it either. *sigh*
I mean i have no right to ask him to like quit work or something, and i cant ask him to take days off.. so what do i do?

*EDIT:
i understand that he wants to work to make money and save up, be we're 16 and he's working so much, its not good for him either, he's got wake up early and he's always tired. its still so young to be stressed out.
maybe i shouldnt ask him about anymore, just see what happens when the holidays blows over?

[LaydeeMel]

I would say just be patient and be supportive. He must be trying to make money by working so much for a reason. Maybe when you guys do find time off for each other, and if he looks so tired maybe just stay in with him and watch a movie at home. Something that wouldn't make him tired yet you both have each other's company.

My boyfriend works alot too so I know how you feel. Pretty much you're just lonely and need a little more than phone talk time. Just be patient about it is all I can say. I'm sure if you think about the future, after going to school and getting a stable job and lifestyle things will go well. Be positive! =)

[viviians]

*huggles wendy*

dw i know how you feel. hang in there yeah? its only temporarily.. but do tell derek how you feel cos he probably doesnt know that you feel this way.. or would you like me to hint it out to him...

i know if he could he would take the time off to see you. cos he loves being around you
but yeah.. i rarely see him now days too (& we frkn live together..)

[l1lvi3tqt]

he is just trying to make some money in the holiday. i understand how you feel but you been with him over a year already why neeed to go out all the time. why can you just stay in to hang out or something? cuddle. watch a movie or something.

if you wanna say something then tell him like dont overwork yourself. we stil young. we will have to work for a long time. you should cut off a day so that you can relax before we start school again.

[pan•pan]

My ex also worked like.. almost every time.. and I barely saw him last time.

Just be patient and support him..

Probably your bf wants something, therefore he needs to work to collect money to buy what he wants.

You could always say to him that you want to spend more time together, but don't say it in an angry way.. just tell him nicely ^^

If he's tired, you can spend time together at home, watching DVDs, or cooking together, or just cuddling.

Or you can stay over his place, so you can have him for one whole night ^^ hehe

[tontamoo]

I'm pretty much echoing what the other people are saying. Be supportive of him but be able to talk about how you're feeling. I'm sure both of you are just doing what needs to be done for the moment. With the economy the way it is, be thankful you both have jobs. I think the key is to talk about how to plan for the long-term. While this kind of schedule is tolerable for the short-term, how to spend quality time together needs to be addressed too and the effort does need to be made.

My bf and I are like this somewhat. I have insane hours due to being in management, but luckily my bf has a much more regular 9-5. In that way, he's flexible around my schedule, but at the same time, I need to show him that I'm putting the effort into spending time with him. I'm much more happier that work is not so all-consuming now.

I'll admit that I'll fall asleep on him quite often that it is an ongoing joke. Since I'm often exhausted by the time I finish work, I just like to simply cuddle with my bf and talk lazily or nap with him on the couch. It's very relaxing. Maybe that's something you can do with your bf.

[&rea]

Same thing happened with me, but I was the one working.
I just started a new job and I didn't get too many shifts, but last week they gave me 35 hours and I was honestly just too tired to hang out with my boyfriend. I did end up cranky because he kept asking me to see him even though I was dead tired and I thought it was unfair for him to ask me to bus all the way to his house to hang out after long shifts. Please just give him time and space. Yes, he wants to see you, but you have to understand that people need to work.

[wees2dee]

or would you like me to hint it out to him...
but yeah.. i rarely see him now days too (& we frkn live together..)

LOL hahahah but yea dont worry about it he's a guy, he prob wouldnt know what to do about it even if you tell him.

If he's tired, you can spend time together at home, watching DVDs, or cooking together, or just cuddling.

I just like to simply cuddle with my bf and talk lazily or nap with him on the couch.

but you see? he gets home at like 7- 8 at might and me having asian parents dont let me go out and plus they dont know about him, so that just makes the whole thing more complicated =(

[sus]

hmm well i know u want to spend more time with him
hmm just talk to him bout it

hmm i guess u gota learn to live or adapt to it
most people do work 5 days a wk
its life...

[ehytee7]

but you see? he gets home at like 7- 8 at might and me having asian parents dont let me go out and plus they dont know about him, so that just makes the whole thing more complicated =(

sounds similar to me. my bf works mostly 8-10 hrs a day and goes home almost 12 or 1am. My parents don't know about us being together and won't let me stay out so late, so i only can see him when he has a day off which isn't guaranteed coz sometimes he drives out of state to see his family/ relatives. i just try to understand him, but i can't help but be sad about it sometimes. it gets to me really bad. lol. but that's how it is... just enjoy the days that you guys can see each other.

[shapley_dignity]

At least you're dragging him out on dates even when he's tired, it shows that he still cares.
Being supportive seems best right now. A key to a relationship is to give each other space and let each other do their own thing. You shouldn't feel bad if you understand his situation.

[小甜密]

He's just working harder than before, that's all. Nothing is wrong with the relationship. If you really love him, support him to the best of your ability. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

[PhuongNguyen]

My boyfriend is the lead at his workplace so he can't ever take off. He works around 11-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, and sometimes, the weekend also. But you know what, it NEVER stops him from talking to me for 2+ hours everyday. Although I'm working on the weekend, he still come to drive me to work (and he lives 1 hour away) and then pick me up and go hang out afterward. I'm not trying to brag, but truth is, if they REALLY want to see you, then no matter what, they will find a way to do it. The problem isn't that your boyfriend is tire, but that he doesn't have enough motivation. No offense, but if my boyfriend can juggle a 12 hour job, plus college, which is 3 hours everyday, not to count the hours he have to spend to study for test and such; there should be no reason on why someone else can't do it. Unless they don't care enough to.

[drago]

he's 16 and he has a full time job at safeway? What about school?? I'm just saying this because if you see this relationship lasting you're gonna have to be patient, but it's all about give and take, somethings aren't too important at the age of 16. He should be thinking of how to better himself in the long run.

[hippiehop]

I can honestly say that when my ex bf graduated from college and got a job, it was one of the things that drove us apart.

[schadenfreud1c]

My boyfriend is the lead at his workplace so he can't ever take off. He works around 11-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, and sometimes, the weekend also. But you know what, it NEVER stops him from talking to me for 2+ hours everyday. Although I'm working on the weekend, he still come to drive me to work (and he lives 1 hour away) and then pick me up and go hang out afterward. I'm not trying to brag, but truth is, if they REALLY want to see you, then no matter what, they will find a way to do it. The problem isn't that your boyfriend is tire, but that he doesn't have enough motivation. No offense, but if my boyfriend can juggle a 12 hour job, plus college, which is 3 hours everyday, not to count the hours he have to spend to study for test and such; there should be no reason on why someone else can't do it. Unless they don't care enough to.

Not everybody is as "motivated" as your superboyfriend. You say you're not trying to brag? You sound extremely arrogant and insensitive in this post. To even have the audacity to judge from what i can tell, a 16 year old male who's working his ass off and saying he's not motivated to see his girlfriend is despicable. I'm glad you found a person who is willing to waste every shred of energy on work, school and then you is great --- really. However, not everybody has the same capacity to do it. Mere humans like us need sleep and when we're tired, our bodies shut down and tell us that even though we would love to spend some time on the phone with our sig. others or go out on a date, we can't do it.


Shortened version since you're probably too busy to read this because your super boyfriend is calling you:
How dare you even suggest that a tired individual who's working full time, a 16 year old and using his precious winter break to earn some money doesn't care enough to be with his girlfriend.




Your arrogance makes me want to take a sack of money and hit you over the head with it, you braggart. BTW, nobody gives a flying john tesh.

[PhuongNguyen]

Not everybody is as "motivated" as your superboyfriend. You say you're not trying to brag? You sound extremely arrogant and insensitive in this post. To even have the audacity to judge from what i can tell, a 16 year old male who's working his ass off and saying he's not motivated to see his girlfriend is despicable. I'm glad you found a person who is willing to waste every shred of energy on work, school and then you is great --- really. However, not everybody has the same capacity to do it. Mere humans like us need sleep and when we're tired, our bodies shut down and tell us that even though we would love to spend some time on the phone with our sig. others or go out on a date, we can't do it.


Shortened version since you're probably too busy to read this because your super boyfriend is calling you:
How dare you even suggest that a tired individual who's working full time, a 16 year old and using his precious winter break to earn some money doesn't care enough to be with his girlfriend.




Your arrogance makes me want to take a sack of money and hit you over the head with it, you braggart. BTW, nobody gives a flying john tesh.

You kiss your mama with that mouth sweetie?

All I'm saying is, it's not IMPOSSIBLE to come and see her if her REALLY wants to. Of course everyone needs sleep, no mini cooper Einstein. But are you telling me that him taking a few hour out is going to kill him? I don't know anybody who needs 13 hours of sleep. He may be tire, and that may make him not want to come and see her, but it isn't STOPPING him from seeing her. If you can't go out or talk on the phone just because you work 11 hours a day, then you must be in for a rough ride for the rest of your life, because a lot of real time job will require that much hour of work.

Answer me this, if you REALLY wanted to see someone, would 11 hours at work stop you from doing so? And thus, that's why I said that he just doesn't have enough motivation. If he really mises her and wanted to see her, nothing is going to stop him. I'm sure his body can go to sleep for only 7 hours once in a while. < _ <

And yes, I'm bragging about my boyfriend. Because ya know. I'm sure everyone cares about how good my boyfriend is to me. Uh.. no. I brought him up and our situation up so that the TC can see that I was in the same situation, however... we handle ours differently, and to let her realize that she doesn't have to just "deal" with it because there's "nothing" he can do about it. There is something he can do... it's just a matter on if he really want to or not.

Arrogant and insensitive? So be it. I'm just pointing out the truth. And the truth is... it's not something he CAN'T do, just something he doesn't want to work out. Instead of going "Well, since I have to work a lot, I'll just not see my girlfriend very often", he should've been more like "Well, since I have to work a lot more now, I should come up with a schedule so that I can still spend some time with my girlfriend". You don't HAVE to choose one over the other sweetie. God forbid you ever get a real job and have to throw away all of your life because of it. Good for him that he is dedicated to his job and is an incrediable hard worker, but that doesn't mean he should put the job as first priority. He needs to learn how to juggle a job and a girlfriend, unless he wants to live the rest of his life alone.

[viviians]

he's 16 and he has a full time job at safeway? What about school?? I'm just saying this because if you see this relationship lasting you're gonna have to be patient, but it's all about give and take, somethings aren't too important at the age of 16. He should be thinking of how to better himself in the long run.

his only working full time temporarily. its summer break here in australia thats why.
& of course his starting yr12 later this month so no more full time work



& FYI my brother does try to see her as often as he can.
he would go over to her house after work but her parents are strict & of course wont allow it.
he does call her like straight after work when he gets home.. he doesnt even eat dinner before he calls her.
so i dont see how his "unmotivated"


dw wendy, couple more weeks before school starts & i'll be able to see him 5 times a week again
hang in thereeee. his just makin more money to slurge on ya

[wees2dee]

he does call her like straight after work when he gets home.. he doesnt even eat dinner before he calls her

hahaha, he usually finds noodles or something afterwards hehe

but you see?? i dont want him to do that... if he's tired from work and doesnt have time to eat and look after himself and has other stuff going on in his life as well, i understand that he doesnt like need to be with me every min of hte day but should he atleast take a break off work?? if not for me then atleast for himself?

[hirotoki]

wow ur bf is 16 and works that much to save up? my man should be ashamed of himself =.=

its prob just during the holidays XD during the summer time both me and my guy works 24/7 but the relationship still worked out fine