[chungey]

Is there a code you follow that feels morally right?

i believe its called the "FRIEND CODE"

ex. DON'T date/sex your friends siblings
ex. DON'T date your friends ex boyfriend/girlfriend

(the list goes on..)

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i broke up with my first boyfriend less than a year ago. we do not go to the same school, and he goes to school with a few of my friends. recently, one of my friends suddenly messages me out of no where on msn and asks me if i know him. i say yes, and ask her whyd she ask that. she tells me she is in mad love with him - - that she's starting to chill with him during spares and asks me questions like HOW DID YOU DO IT / WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HIM TO LIKE ME / telling me how in lust she is for him.

im just sitting here. o.o. ..like...ok that was really random .... i ask her "isnt she in a relationship with her boyfriend for 4 years?" she brags that to me all the time. then she logs off. i look on facebook and yeah she is dating some guy and writes alot of crap on there about how deep in love etcetc they are/blessed to have eachother.

i know i dont date this guy anymore, and should let it go right? because i shouldnt have feelings for him. so its fair game? but wouldn't you get offended? i havent talked to her since .. ill admit i do get sensitive and that made me sort of sad/angry..thinking about all that..

but the fact that she is my friend, why would she say that to me in the first place? just to get me mad? because she has a boyfriend!! why would she say that to me?

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~~on another note do you find it legit when your friend starts going for your ex? do you just stand back? isnt there a "friends code" to not do that..because i honestly value friends over a some guy. i would never go for my friends ex because she may have feelings if not a little bit for him. dont some people have a conscience?
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another one: my (previous) best friend went after my brother through messaging him so i couldnt see, but my brother told me. he's mature and all and real cool of a brother. he just tells me i make some weird friends that he does not want to hang out with her since its his little sisters friend because he wants only whats best for me. AH ! and that best friend was sending him pics of her posing *seductively* he is like WTF . and showed me im like WTF!!!!!!!

[insanelyCRAZY]

and yet i see the implied code broken countless times.

[bbyxwinnie]

LOLS do people seriously follow those?.
that's pretty stupid, people should have the right to date who ever they want.

[_ATELIER]

i know a group of friends who switch partners like square dancing.
code...pft, there's no such thingss as codess. hohoho.

[Flicksityy]

What is this, the ten commandments?

I've seen these broken loads of times...

[Sympathetic]

You're just crazy.
I don't think you should follow them, are YOUR friends following them? I think not.

[Morphiex]

girls never follow the code , they will backstab their own best friend for a guy.
they will be in a relation like you said for years , but dump the boy in an instant and claw the eyes out of the girls in the way even if they are friends just to get the new boy they like.

as for guys there is a code :
1. never have sex or date the female relative unless your friend know about it first.
2. never date or have sex with the ex , unless your friend knows about it first.
3. Bros before (excuse the term) hoes , never let a chick get inbetween important plans with your mates, unless its kinky one in a lifetime sex. we can accept that just buy us a beer next time.

[Shikabane Hime]

Oh, you mean that "unspoken" code?

If it's unspoken, it remains unspoken

Half the time someone's like WTF yo, follow the code! and it's like, what code? That code! The unspoken one? YA the unspoken one wtf zzz

[thaoyunho]

lol, I used to do that with my old friend.. but with my bestfriend we don't do that.. there are no rules.. we just let everything happen and than will see

[meliawy]

girls never follow the code , they will backstab their own best friend for a guy.
they will be in a relation like you said for years , but dump the boy in an instant and claw the eyes out of the girls in the way even if they are friends just to get the new boy they like.

as for guys there is a code :
1. never have sex or date the female relative unless your friend know about it first.
2. never date or have sex with the ex , unless your friend knows about it first.
3. Bros before (excuse the term) hoes , never let a chick get inbetween important plans with your mates, unless its kinky one in a lifetime sex. we can accept that just buy us a beer next time.

Heeeeyyyyy... from what I can see, guys do not follow their codes either once they have been pssywhipped

In my opinion, guys and gals are all the same; sometimes they thought they saw someone who is worth breaking the "friend's code" for. By the way, from where I am standing, these are not real friends. It takes trials and errors to really know who your true friends are...

[underneathHERskin]

Yes, it hurts, but I think people should be able to date whoever they want even if it's someone I liked/gone out with. Even though I would prefer my friends not to go for an ex, it'd be very selfish of me to stop them from liking each other. The only condition I'd have if you are going for him is, don't share the details with me, don't ask me how to get him, don't ask me what he likes, what his interests, hobbies are.

So I say just let it be.

[Morphiex]

Heeeeyyyyy... from what I can see, guys do not follow their codes either once they have been pssywhipped

In my opinion, guys and gals are all the same; sometimes they thought they saw someone who is worth breaking the "friend's code" for. By the way, from where I am standing, these are not real friends. It takes trials and errors to really know who your true friends are...

haha its true some when they get pssywhipped stray easily from the code , especially the last one.
but were talking about a people you want to hook up with or had hooked up with once only, not people you have been seeing for months and having an afaire.


and i agree theres a difference between people you know that are friendly and friends , i know tons of people but only have a handful of friends.

[Left_King]

I dont think such codes work or exist...at least not in serious relationship...

If u do love someone, u hv all the right to approach that person or even tell them ur feelings...

Ok...ur frd might get offended...but if its a serious relationship im sure (s)he will understand...
Nowadays ppl, think of relationships as a hobby...like...i wanna spend time with her/him because she/he is cute, good looking, sweet, we get along with each other... etc etc... but a relationship is much more than that...

I dont think this codes should be followed or even exists when it comes to serious relationships...
If its not serious... why bother worrying about it? Good for u!!

[shelbz]

What is this, the ten commandments?

I've seen these broken loads of times...

exactly, who cares?

[EHNerJI]

rofl. i don't follow the code (x
and i honestly don't care if my friends date someone i've dated in the past X:
cuz then they'll discover first hand the reason why i broke up hahaha~

but, yeah that is kinda messed up that she was talking to you about it .. o.o
especially if she has a bf.. lawl =/

[nagel]

stupid.
no one ever follows them nor should they
case closed

[Strawberii]

Tchhh, no one ever follows the friends' code.
It's all fair in love and war.

[chungey]

yeah I know its stupid and all

but is it appropriate for your frend to be asking those type of questions to get your ex? ahh i dunno i guess it just makes me mad because shes telling me all this and she has a boyfriend too, so apart of me thinks shes just trying to piss me off -o-;

and for the other person who is going after my brother, well the part that she has to do it in secrecy and not tell me behind me back..kinda makes me think she is just using me all along to get with him. bah and she dosent know anything about him, just seem him for looks and he isnt even interested =_=

[momoko doll*]

LOLS do people seriously follow those?.
that's pretty stupid, people should have the right to date who ever they want.

^thats a pretty shallow thing to say. you obviously don't see the consequences of doing whatever you like until you've done enough damage that you realize how wrong you've been.

theres a legit reason why any kind of RULES exist in this world. its not illegal to date whoever you want. rules mean nothing if you don't think about why they are there.

these rules aren't written or stated anywhere and in fact its a little absurd to have written rules in friendship. but instead you should always follow your conscience, and if its wrong, you change it. you never follow something blindly.

and you know the fact that theres a lot of controversy about this means that some of us have experienced it and some of us haven't to some extent. so YES there is something solid behind this that gives reason to even create a "friends code." i mean think about it, how would you feel if you found out you had backstabbing friends?

about your situation, if you feel offended by what your friend is doing or are even a little bothered by it its completely normal. those are your feelings you are only human. nobody can tell you whether your feelings are right or wrong. but how you act upon them matters the most.

your friend seems very rash and seriously has to rethink her values. she might mean no harm out of it but the fact that she doesn't realize it---or if she refuses to realize what shes doing is WRONG because it can potentially hurt you then shes not worthy of being your friend. i'm sorry but that kind of person can hurt you really bad (even if this situation passes, something else might come up and then you'll see how she responds) if she continues her behavior without thinking about her actions.

i feel like your friend might follow this pattern especially cause shes doing things behind her bf's back and covering it up on the outside (on facebook)...i mean i would worry if i were you. she could do the same thing to you.

your brother is right. you do have some weird friends if not maybe even a little disloyal. it is disrespectful to ask your friend about their ex in their own interests. its VERY inconsiderate but i wouldn't get too mad about it because she probably doesn't even know what shes doing. people are just like that and they learn to act appropriately when they mature. they could at least ask how YOU felt about it before thinking about themselves.

for example, personally i don't mind of my friend wanted to hook up with one of my fling-ex's (maybe like a middle school relationship because i wasn't serious at all with them)...BUT if it was one of my ex's that i had something serious with then its a whole different story. so it really depends on the situation as well but it doesn't hurt to ask and be safe, and just consider other peoples feelings before you step in!

as for dating your friends siblings....again theres nothing completely wrong with it but i think your brother sees the potential harm it can do so he strays away from it. i think that is a very safe and reasonable decision and he really thinks about how it could affect you because he cares about you. (not to say that any brother that doesn't do that doesn't care-----but i think your brother is a little wiser )

the fact that your other friend didn't even ask you about how you thought of her dating your brother is another thing i would be concerned about. and she did this all behind your back? ..i mean it kind of stirs the potential that she will go out of her way to date your brother without considering you.

[doofus9]

yeah i believe in some kind of friend code. like "don't date your friend's ex" and stuff like that but honestly i think it depends who the friend is, who the guy is, what happened between them, and HOW it ended. because you cant just not date everyone your friends date. what if your friend has dated like.. literally everyone?