[DudewithFood]

So my buddy and I went to this gay and lesbian bar to accompany this mutual gay friend of ours because it was his birthday. My buddy, lets call him Rick, and I are not gay; I have a girlfriend that I’ve been with for a while now.

Anyways, while at the bar, we meet this really attractive lesbian who’s not only nice, but funny and smart as well. Not to mention an awesome dancer. After she leaves, I say to Rick, “Man, I’d totally be on her if she’s straight.” You know, just guy talk. I didn’t really mean it; it’s just how I’ve always talked.

A few days later, he goes and tells my girlfriend what I said which resulted in a huge fight almost ending in break up. Now I love my girlfriend, and like I said, it’s just how I talk and I didn’t mean anything by it. I mean I say stuff like “I’m going to do Hiedi Klum” or Jessica Alba. The girl celebrity I’m into changes every few weeks so she knows I’m not serious and it’s just how I talk. Plus it’s a celebrity; of course I don’t mean it! I’ve always thought she was one of those cool girlfriends who doesn’t care what I say since she KNOWS I don’t mean it, but now she’s telling me I shouldn’t talk like that. It makes me mad that she wants to change the way I am. I want an outsider’s view on this. What do you guys think?

[hishari]

Maybe she thought you were serious, since that lesbian isn't a celebrity.

[Wendyyy]

Well if you look at it from your girl's point of view, wouldn't you be slightly offended?

Maybe you should just apologize to her and reassure her that no matter what you say, you hold her higher than other girls, so she feels more confident in how you feel about her. She might be reacting like that because she's getting a low self-esteem with how you say those things with celebrity looking girls and stuff.

Hopefully she'll realize that it wasn't that big of a deal and the whole thing will blow over.

[shakki]

i think your friend shouldnt have told her.
i understand when my bf talks like that.
its completely normal for i guys i think.
i dont think its a big deal at all.
but it varies for every girl.
and if she really wants u to stop,
maybe u could at least take it down a notch just for her.

[rachilde]

I think that there are certain lines that are a little bit hazy. For example, I am bisexual and my boyfriend has this tremendous fear that I'm going to run away with some girl I've met. It doesn't help that I actually live with a girl I've had sexual relations with in the past (but she's currently engaged and we no longer view each other in that light aside from occasional jokes) and I know he'd have an absolute fit if I said, "Well if B were single I'd totally jump on that (again)." I should make it clear right now that I live in a dorm, so it's not like I can choose who my roommates are haha. It wasn't intentional that we're living together. Of course, my boyfriend isn't a complete jealous bastard. I could easily point out a cute guy walking down the street who I don't know and say, "I'd hit that" without any reaction from him. The reason this is is probably proximity: I don't talk to Brad Pitt or the random guy walking down the street--but I do talk to my roommate.

If I were to express interest in my roommate, my boyfriend would assume that it was because I was sexually, intellectually, and emotionally attracted to her--and that's a lot more irritating than just being sexually attracted to someone.

The same probably applies to your girlfriend. I think that the fact that the girl was a real person who was right in front of you and not a celebrity had a lot to do with your girlfriend's anger. It might not be because she wants to change you so much as she feels pointing out actual competitors was deliberately disrespectful to her feelings. I don't say to my boyfriend, "Well, I'd totally run off with my roomie," because for my boyfriend that appears to be a distinct possibility whereas saying "I'd totally date George Clooney" would be a pretty...impossible task.

[popolala]

If the lesbian girl, came up to u, and offer a date or to do things etc... are u going to accept her or reject her? .. be honest here! coz u did said u will. maybe that's why shes mad, bcoz u had that ^thought^ & what "if"

[ms. rachellica]

lol agree with rachilde. since heidi klum and jessica alba are celebrities, ur gf knows that it's highly impossible for u to actually "do" them. now that u had some real interaction with the girl, she prolly thot u were serious

[DudewithFood]

Ok so it's cuz the lesbian was a real person, but she also wants me to stop talking about celebrities the way I do as well. Is that unreasonable since it's obvious I'm joking?

[eximius]

^ Didn't seem like your joking was obvious enough then.

If your friend told your girlfriend about what you said about the lesbian girl, then he couldn't have thought you were joking either, right?

In my honest opinion... I think any girl would have a huge fight with their boyfriends and have a huge chance of breaking up over this situation.
Regardless if it was a joke, it's in very poor taste. Especially if you don't make it clear that you're joking, it's interpreted as "If that girl was into guys, I'd do her even while I have a girlfriend." And what does that interpret as? "I don't respect my girlfriend, nor do I love her."
So~ IMO? You *&#$ed up, sorry.

[ms. rachellica]

Ok so it's cuz the lesbian was a real person, but she also wants me to stop talking about celebrities the way I do as well. Is that unreasonable since it's obvious I'm joking?

even if u were joking around about it, there's still some truth behind it. there's an attraction to those celebs or else u wudn't say those kinds of comments. that's prolly the way she looks at it. if she wants u to stop talking that way then maybe u shud or at least lessen it. there will be times in relationships where it's about sacrifice.

[supa'Wanki]

Dude, I would've kicked his ass and took his "friend" status away from him right then and there. That's bull. Your girl is being overly sensitive about a LESBIAN. Talk to your girlfriend and avoid fighting at all costs.

[msupky]

Aw.. you poor thing. Well.. this is from a girl's point of view, fyi, if it even matters.

I guess your girlfriend can't take a joke? So I suggest you stop making them.. or make them without her knowing (IE. telling a friend who doesn't own such a big, blabbery mouth). Girls are weird and can be super touchy about the little things. Personally, I wouldn't care. Because it's kinda like "LOL yea, you'd do her in a heartbeat. BUT that's only if she was straight. And she's not. What makes you think she'd let you screw her given that she was straight? Tooooough." No biggie, really.

But I guess you wouldn't really appreciate it either if your girlfriend went "My boyfriend can't satisfy me in bed" to her friends? Hahaha just an example because all the guys I know would cry if they heard that. I don't know. Just know that there are certain things you should AVOID saying to create less messy situations. It doesn't mean that you can't say those things... but do you REEEEALLY want to put up with a pointless argument in which your chances of winning the argument are less than slim?

If you don't like your girlfriend 'ordering you around,' then may I suggest you find a girlfriend who can take a joke?

[princesspoppy]

Just say sorry and that you won't do it anymore. Hug, kiss, and make-up.

[akira53]

IMO your chances of hooking up with a lesbian are about the same as hooking with with a celebrity
I think you should probably lay off the jokes for a while.

[Shikabane Hime]

Suppose your girl talked about marrying some korean celeb, or whoever is all the rage. Nothing wrong right?

Now suppose she started talking about how she met this hot guy at the club and they were totally getting it on and he was just so awesome and all, would you take it sitting down?

Two different scenarios. Even though they are similar to a large extent, they are pretty much completely different. If it's really "just how you talk," that's pretty general. Do you talk about doing hookers and random chicks you see on the street when she's around?

I wouldn't go as far as to say "that's just how you talk." Maybe you have to give more info on your character, or you'll have to do some re-evaluation.

Or, as usual, if you find that she's asking for too much, just break it off. Plenty of women out there (unless you're picky).

[grainsofrain]

the comment you made to your friend about the lesbian girl; would you have said it to your girlfriend if she was there?

maybe she put up enough with the celeb jokes, but it's getting tiring now.

[yabasta]

Bro. Keep it simple. Say it's your fault, because we will all tell you it's fault. It might not seem like your fault, but this is totally sensitive to girls. It's quite stupid how girls always talk about how hot that guy is or whatever, and yet, when it's us guys saying it, they almost always take it as the most offensive thing they've heard in the history of mankind. Just apologise - but don't grovel - and buy her like... lingerie or something lol.

yabasta

[colloquy]

"I'd totally be on it if she was straight..." and she is a person standing quite close to you, although a lesbian? Depending how said, It insinuates something BEYOND a joke/compliment, it's like... if she was a straight girl, you would be hitting on her or something.

I'd totally do Anderson Cooper if he was straight, and I've told my bf that. But I would totally think it would be a whole other thing if I said it about one of my gay friends.

Maybe your guy friend didn't think your comment was too funny, or maybe he wants your gf (jk, that's my wild imagination...)

[小甜密]

She shouldn't be tripping over the lesbian. After all, the hot chick like GIRLS. Not guys.
Your girlfriend needs to relax.

[blissful*sin]

the hot girl's a lesbian
whats there to worry about from your gf?
about your girly celeb talks
she probably has the same guy celeb talks with her girl friends too
i think your gf needs to relax like the above poster said
maybe say sorry and dont bring it again
i dont know, nevermind