[pinkgirlblueboy]

I think I have a toxic boyfriend.

I feel my self esteem plummeting.

He has said that his ex is his "ideal" girl and he doesn't deny that statement either. But the reason why he doesn't like her anymore is because she was the one that left him and he felt like she used him.

I don't think he ever liked her too much because we were friends during that time and I got that feeling.

But like today he kept on mentioning how well she dresses and he always puts me down about the way i dress.

I don't think he's good for my self esteem.

What to do? What to do?

[ShadowMax76]

x_X' tell me why you haven't left him yet.

honesty is important. yes. but. why did he take interest in you? ask him that.

o_O' i wouldn't stay with someone who thought like that...

[Darude356]

dump him. he IS a loser if that is what he said to you. guys should support their girlfriends and build their self esteem, not break down their self esteem. find someone worthy of your time. i know it probably feels more complicated than this, but you need to get out of this relationship. the fact that you wrote here on soompi shows that YOU even know this to be true.

[x3FOBBiiLiZZiix3]

errrr,,, what a butthole. just leave him.
i mean,, if he's gonna praise and talk about her so much,
he might as well go back to her. --;;
i'm sure there's a lot of other guys out there
that can say so much better stuff about you than that jerk.

[l1lvi3tqt]

why are you still with him , when he put you down like that??

[princesspoppy]

You gotta leave his ass.

[eximius]

People have enough crap to worry about without a boyfriend/girlfriend, I don't see why you should allow your boyfriend to be a problem.
How to solve it? Tell him if he disapproves of the way you are so much then he can find someone else, and proceed to dump him.

[小甜密]

Stupid person to the max. What he's saying (in his poor way) is that you should dress better. But does he really have to compare his ex-girlfriend with you? That's just messed up.

[BakaPrincess]

You know he's hurting your self-esteem and it's bad for you.
Why are you still with him? It's obvious that he's not making you happy.
And unhappy relationships are not ones to keep.

[rachilde]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkIytHD5v9c

Sorry, I just had to. But yeah, it's pretty obvious what's the healthy thing for you to do.

[JASON;]

tsk tsk tsk
should just get rid of him

[Cin De]

DUMP HIM ALREADY!! TELL HIM IF HE LIKES THE WAY SHE DRESS HE CAN CRAWL BACK TO HER

[koneee]

LEAVE HIM DUUUHHHH
find somebody who makes you feel beautiful and tells you you are beautiful.
Don't let ANYBODY kill your self-esteem.
If she's his ideal "gf" then tell him that he's your ideal "ex-bf"

[kimmyb07]

I don't know the exact situation. It really depends on how close you are, your feelings for him, and whether you feel its worth it. Either way, you can't let him just put you down like that.

If you feel you both are close enough and he means enough to you to keep trying, try talking to him calmly but confidently about it. Tell him how it makes you feel. If he changes, great. If he doesn't, move on. You don't need that in your life. He might just be saying something else and it came out VERY wrong and hurtful. Boys (and girls!) are dense like that sometimes.

If you're not that emotionally invested in the relationship and don't feel like it's even worth the effort, then you know what to do.

The reason I don't jump to "dump his ass" like everyone else is my boyfriend said some hurtful things about my weight and how I dress in the beginning of our relationship. Looking back, I think he just worded things VERY poorly. I talked to him about it, nicely but confidently. He really didn't realize how much it hurt. He apologized and calls me nothing but beautiful now. Sometimes you just have to demand respect to get it. But sometimes you are dealing with a jerk that won't change. It's up to you to figure out which category your boyfriend falls into.

But, again, your self-esteem and confidence are VITAL to your happiness so whatever you do, don't let this guy walk all over you and make you feel like crap

[kRaZiExLaDiE]

yeah.. it`s good to be honest, but you shouldn`t be w/ a guy who puts you down.
a boyfriend should make you feel like you`re the most special girl in the world... he`s always there for you.
always there to support you. always there to catch you.
& uh .. it wasn`t very smart of him to say that his ex was his "ideal" girl. no one would want to hear that.
it`s a stab to the heart.

[:0486]

i'd say leave him you don't need a person like that in your life, especially someone whose your bf

no one deserves to have this type of insult to them

[Shikabane Hime]

Leave him if you believe he threatens your self-esteem.
Find some insecure loser that will completely inflate your ego.

[Lie]

Break up with him, jeese. If you put up with someone attacking your self-esteem without leaving, you're telling them that they're right, and that that's what you deserve.

[c i e l`]

YOU should be his "ideal" girl.
Ask him why he keeps on talking about her.
Then if things turn bad...tell him to go back to his ex.

[Panda Kisses]

Hm. He's probably one of those blunt boyfriends.
He's honest, sure. But I doubt he worded his words "incorrectly".
He is straight away stepping on your self esteem by comparing you to his ex.
Either tolerate it, talk to him about it, or relieve your ego by letting him go.

If you know something's bad for you, why keep going back for more doses?