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Coming Home Drunk

#1 User is offline   Jangoon 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 06:16 AM

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
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#2 User is offline   Star!Stung 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 07:12 AM

LMAO! he must have been really drunk to mistake his butt for the mirror. xD
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#3 User is offline   ellyphant 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 08:53 AM

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

mirror....

At first I thought this was an advertisement, where a guy gets drunk.
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#4 User is offline   annie_x 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 09:26 AM

lol! how could he mistake the mirror for his butt?
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#5 User is offline   mango-iee 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 12:33 PM

LOL. he must be really, really, really, super drunk. x]

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#6 User is offline   jamie . 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 01:25 PM

HAHA, so he's a stupid drunk tongue.gif
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#7 User is offline   lulunotlemon* 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 04:40 PM

LMFAO!!

OMGOMG. LOL THAT IS SO ........WOW LOLOL
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#8 User is offline   tICK.tOCK 

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Posted 19 January 2009 - 11:06 PM

LOL hahahahaa

i know a few people who would do that laugh.gif
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#9 User is offline   last love. 

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Posted 20 January 2009 - 10:47 AM



WOW. That is extremely sad... I have no words for that. ._.V

YOU ARE MY SHY BOY; BYE-BYE, BAD BOY.
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#10 User is offline   CLOUD:7 

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Posted 20 January 2009 - 01:40 PM

Haha! Must be really drunk. x'D
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#11 User is offline   ash(o_o') 

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Posted 30 January 2009 - 02:41 PM

hahaha!
so that's how drunk guys are.
lol
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#12 User is offline   Honey.bee 

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Posted 30 January 2009 - 03:32 PM

ROFL, he shouldn't drunk so much. XD
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#13 User is offline   ohNO not Vivix3 

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Posted 30 January 2009 - 04:10 PM

LOL!!!
He must have been extra drunk to mistaken his butt for a mirror.
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