[original] There's A Word For This Party, But I Can't Say It Out Loud

long weekend = recording blitz [; haha, well, two songs.

song; there's a word for this party, but i can't say it out loud

lyrics; one foot out the door
oh you're losing her so fast
and babe i hope you know
that she ain't coming back
so go and hide behind your smirks
and your self satisfaction
oh she don't got time
for all of your hindsight action

the ink's on your fingers
you don't remember signing off on this
the blood's on your hands
and you don't remember letting go of this
i hope she starts something new without you
i hope she learns to live without you

another highlight of the day destroyed
but don't you worry
cause she knows that
it's the highlight of your day
you're so busy on your high horse
you don't see her climb that picket fence
but what's a soap box
with no audience

the ink's on your fingers
you don't remember signing off on this
the blood's on your hands
and you don't remember letting go of this
i hope she starts something new without you
i hope she learns to live without you

if there's nothing left to save
i don't know what you've been trying for
what you've been dying for
this hard earned rut's all you've gotten
so thank you, thank you
try not to come again

the ink's on your fingers
you don't remember signing off on this
the blood's on your hands
and you don't remmber letting go of this
i hope she puts you out of your misery
i hope that when she's long gone you'll learn to see
i hope she starts something new without you
i hope she learns to live without you

my thoughts; -whew- so this is gonna be pretty long, but hey, since you're listening to the song (right? [; ) might as well! : D

so the title for this song is so long that soundclick won't even let me type all of it out lmfao. but the original title was gonna be 'my super sucky sixteen', only with a more vulgar word for 'sucky' (use your imagination lmao). and i don't like using cuss words that much, and 'sucky' just didn't sound good, so i thought to myself: "self, how can i express this party in an effective and interesting yet not vulgar way? because there's a word out there to describe it, but the only one i can think of, i can't say out loud." and BAM. there it is [:

now if you're wondering why i'm writing about parties, i'm not. not really. this was inspired by an arguement with my mom that prevented me from going to a party. and it wasn't my fault, scout's honor! see, one of my closest friends moved away this winter break, and her birthday was on december 30th. she celebrated her party a few days earlier, and it was really the last time i'd get to see her as a classmate of mine, not a friend from across town. the site of the party was pretty far away though, like a 30 minute drive, but my parents had already said i could go weeks before. the day of the party, my mom got bipolar on me and told me i couldn't go because no one would carpool with me. i found a friend that would, and my mom told me that she didn't trust them. so no, i didn't get to go. there wasn't really any fighting until a few days later, on new year's eve.

i won't get into it, but there was basically a lot of one-sided yelling (from my mom hahha) and lots of dish-breaking, and i ended up apologizing even though none of it was my fault. being asain, she didn't accept the apology. ;lsdkfj it was pretty bad, not the way i wanted to ring in the new year at all. i basically felt so frustrated that every time, nothing was ever my fault and every time, i was always the one that was right and yet i couldn't say anything because my mom had to be right. she had to play as the victim and make me look like the bad guy every single time, and even my brother and my dad would join her side without even asking for or listening to my side of the story.

and so, this came along! the main idea is that a person is being held back, but one day they're definitely gonna get away and the person holding them back is gonna regret it like crazy. i know lots of asian parents are bi polar, like one moment they'll be screaming about how worthless you are and the next they'll be like "i'm glad we're gonna get to hang out tonight! i'm gonna hate it when you go to college cause i'll be all alone!" so the lines "the ink's on your fingers...you don't remember letting go of this" is talking about how one day, they're gonna wake up and realize you're not there anymore and they're gonna know that all of it was their fault. in the second verse, "another highlight of the day destroyed" is a direct reference to my missed party, and every other time parents have backed out on their word and seem to take enjoyment out of seeing you in pain. the whole thing about being on a "high horse... what's a soap box with no audience" is about when people, and parents especially walk around like they know what's best for you and parade you around when you do something their way like all of your accomplishments can be attributed to them, when really you're just trying to struggle out of this "perfect" world that they think they've created for you. their preaching is nothing with no one to listen to them, and that's why they have to hold you back.

my mom sometimes mentions how i never talk to her, or yells at me about.. well, i don't really know what because i try not to listen. xDD but sometimes it's like she's trying to "save" our relationship when there's nothing left. there might not have ever been anything there, and honestly it's all her fault. everytime she tries to talk, she ends up yelling, so her "hard work" has just ended up in a rut, and i don't intend on helping her out. so thanks for trying, bby, but you can stop now.

even the music has a back story to it! haha i know you're probably sick of this by now, but i wanted to let you know what the music is kind of bubbly for a reason: my mom never really listens to the words of the songs i sing, but if i wrote something slow in a minor key, she'd be interested. i don't want her to be interested. i wrote this this way so that, if she ever passed my room while i was writing it, she's just hear the tune and be like, "oh that sounds happy, must mean i'm doing my job right."

I'M ALMOST DONE! i don't know how much i actually like the song itself, but it's definitely really personal to me. i don't mind if you guys don't like it, either, but i know a lot of you struggle with your parents (asian or not [; ) or a significant other or a sibling or a friend that constantly tries to suffocate you because then it'll mean that they're always right. this is the reason i write music, guys: i want you to know that you're not alone and that you will make it through this. <33

haha that's enough of my sappy spiel! even if you didn't read all of that, it's cool [: i hope you like the song anyway!

soompi forums: [original] There's A Word For This Party, But I Can't Say It Out Loud - soompi forums

[original] There's A Word For This Party, But I Can't Say It Out Loud a song about asian parents, lmfao // long story behind it!

#1 fantastikk

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