[moonlightmercielgo]

Hi, I've been a visitor of this website for sometime now and today for the first time I have something to add on to this forum.

This is gonna be long but here it goes:

To start off I'm 20 years old and I've been dating this girl since we were 18 years old(same age). Everything was fine up until last week when she came back from England after 3 weeks. I went to the airport and picked her up, and she seemed fine. She even said we will see each other on the following Monday. However, we did not see each other the following Monday. She has not been herself since she came back or at least so I believed. She has been tired all the time, she sleeps a lot more often, and just overall had no interest in things. So I thought maybe she was just tired and stuff because of the jet lag and everything. However, since she came back she started texting me less and doesn't even go online that often now. So I was worried since last week. I called her couple times, and she told me that she's just tired and is not interested in doing anything. I even asked her if she still loves me and she told me yea. I asked her if I should visit her. She told me no but she will meet me at some place else. So we decided to meet up at Barnes and Noble. There, she seemed melancholy and just not her usual self. We just talked a bit and ate lunch together and went home. And yesterday, she asked me if I wanted to go to the mall and I told her yes. I thought she was feeling better or something so I took the chance and went to the mall with her. At the mall, she was being a bit cold to me and I tried to hold her hand but she didn't want to. So I kind of got pissed and ignored her.... after that, it went all downhill. we walked around the mall a bit and then went home, and on the way home I apologized her for being mean to her and everything but she just ignored me. On the way home, she also asked me "why do you like me?" I couldn't respond to her question as I was not prepared for this.. But I just told her I love her and you don't need a reason to love someone.. After I dropped her off at her house, I asked her if I could come in and she said no but I told her let me just use the bathroom and she said ok. After I got out of bathroom, she just told me that she wants to break up with me. And I was dumbfounded by her words.. it was like thousand swords piercing my heart all at the same time.. I weakly asked her, "why?" and she responded "because I lost interest in you" after that it was all over... I can't believe our 2 years of relationship just ended like that... everything seemed fine before she left for England.. and now she broke up with me for the reason that she doesn't like me anymore. I even talked to her on msn that night.. she told me that she just lost interest in me simple as that.. she also told me that she can't marry me because she has to marry her own ethnicity. She even said she doesn't believe in love and that she will marry a rich guy.. She just gave me bunch of excuses to break up with me but in the end her biggest reason was just that she lost interest in me. I asked her how can you let go our 2 years of relationship just like that? She told me she doesn't care about the past.. I'm just confused as to why the sudden change.. we loved each other just a month ago.. about 2 months ago we got into an argument and I tried to break up with her but she cried and beg me not to do it.. So we got back together.. our relationship seemed fine even after that I mean she even got upset when I told her I might not be able to visit her the day before he leaves.. Even the night before she left, we texted each other and said how we're gonna miss each other and that she doesn't want to leave me... and while she was in England, we emailed each other everyday. She even called me while she was in England and told me that she loved me.. I just don't understand how quickly she changed her mind. I'm till trying to put all the pieces together, and I just can't let go like this.. She's the first person I really loved and cared for. I've done so many things for her... we talked on the phone every night.. we exchanged thousands of text messages.. we exchanged hundreds of "I love you".. and now goodbye is her last word. Can this really happen? Can someone really lose interest in a person they love all of sudden?? I feel like there's more to this but idk... I just want to know everyone's opinion on this.. why did things turn out to be the way it did? All the inputs are appreciated.





PS: I know for a fact that she's not into other guys. On her msn status from 5 days ago she said, 꽃보다 남자에 빠졌을 뿐이고.. I guess it means "unlike flowers, boys fall faster". She also said, 왜이렇게 정신이 없지? which translates to "Why am I mentally out of place?" on her msn status. These messages just make me wonder if there's more to this than it meets the eye.

[myluckyself]

awww thats a sad story =[ but im thinking that theres more to the "i lost interest in you" excuse. i mean, by the way you've explained things its VERY sudden :S

i don't want to sound bad, but she could be having a few problems right now? and the best thing to do is let her know you're still there for her.

[5.mystline]

Maybe something bad happened to her while visiting England, to me she seems pretty depressed. You should wait a bit longer and see how things turn out give her a bit a space. My Initial thought was that maybe she cheated on you and feels really guilty but If you say she's not into other guys then I guess not? but It is likely.

-goodluck

[LOVE&FREEDOM_beautyofX]

i think youre right, theres probably more to her story & i think you should try to find out whats up.. theres ALWAYS a reason for something, you just dont stop loving someone after so long.. and this is from personal experience too.. idk gluck my dear!

[greenana]

Yeah, there is more than her excuse "i lost interest in you". Definitely something is up with her.

[vikkay]

smile and have a cookie.

[jtgirl678]

Aaaw I'm so sorry
That's such a sad story!!!
Most likely something happened to her in England.
Women do NOT loose interest so suddenly without a reason...you should probably figure out what happened and see from there.

GOOD LUCK!

[misturrho]

sorry that you're going through this <3 it does suck when someone just "lost interest" after 2 years and it doesnt make sense. like everyone said im sure there's more to the story. but i have a very little doubt at the same time cuz i experienced this myself. senior year of high school i had a boyfriend from norcal and im from socal, i've "known" him online for 3 years and he always had feelings for me and i finally started liking him. since he graduated he would drive down once a month to visit me. i loved him but i realized he was too emotional for me, i felt like i was the man of the relationship, he cried more then me about the stupidest things etc. i slowly just got fed up with it and maybe like a month after my graduation i couldn't take it anymore and i just totally blew him off and tried to break up with him for 4 hours over the phone, he wouldn't let me etc.. at the end i did it to set myself free from him. maybe you have something that she's not satisfied with and during the 3 weeks in england she cleared her head and thinks this is the best for her.

[AngelsWhisper]

Heartbroken here too...at least she still talks to you instead of ignoring. I don't want to have the same answer, but I have to agree with everyone else here. She's hiding the real reason, as it seems on her msn status message. Do you share anything with her? Like email, sharing accounts, etc. She must have found out something or bump into a certain someone in England, which might have made her want to pull out of the relationship with you.

...I don't think you should pry into her thoughts any further...you'll only get hurt..

[moonlightmercielgo]

Thank you for all the responses so far. However of all the responses so far, I believe that mistturho's response is the closest to what my has gf said to me. Yesterday when she broke up with me when I was at her house, I asked her if she planned to break up with me today and she said "no". It seems like she made the "final decision" at the last moment. I think this last decision making was triggered by my behavior at the mall when I was being cold to her. That night, when we talked on msn she told me that she was setting herself free by breaking up with me. These are couple of the reasons she gave me: I keep texting her and she doesn't like to respond to my messages anymore. She tells me that I don't dress up. She tells me that I can't marry her anyway because I'm not korean and I'm not rich. She also told me that she doesn't believe in love. I told her I can change the way I dress up and I can text her less. I asked her if she would give me another chance, but she said no. This was coming from a girl who was very attached to me, and I've done everything for her. I supported her both financially and emotionally. I asked her if she can just think of everything we went through, and rethink about everything but she said no. No matter what I said to her, she kept saying no I will not change my decision. So then I asked her why are you doing this all of sudden and she responded "this is not all of sudden, Ive thought about it before". If she has thought about it before, then why was she so upset when I said I couldn't visit her the day before she left? If she didn't care about me then why did she say I'm gonna miss you right before she left for England? Why did she kept in touch with me even when she was in England? Why did she even bother calling me from England? So many "whys" as I reflect her past actions. It doesn't connect... everything is so sudden.. She wasn't even sad when she broke up with me. Can someone change this fast? Or did I look over something? These are some of the questions that I've been facing against.. is this really the end of us?

PS: I guess it's a possibility that she bumped into certain someone while she was in England.. But she has always told me that she's not into long distance relationship. She has actually looked down upon long distance relationship, saying that it doesn't last. I believe that if she really did bump into someone in England, then at least she would tell me. Don't I deserve the right to know this if this was true?

PSS: I just remembered something she said yesterday, she said that after coming back from England she tried to like me. She said she tried to like me, but she's just lost in me. These words of her just made me almost eliminate the possibility of a "new guy" in her life. If she's interested in someone, why would she even bother trying to like me? This just doesn't make sense. I just feel like theres a problem beyond her control... something mental maybe... a depression? possibly..

[joongielove]

Wow, that stinks, I'm sorry to hear that.

As cliche as it sounds, time makes everything better. =]

But it is a possibility that maybe she bumped into someone in England, and believed that by breaking up with you, she was making things easier, or by breaking up with you, she wouldn't have a guilty conscience if she 'cheated'? I dunno.

It could also be the possibility that she did lose interest. My ex, I used to be so in love with him, but as time wore on, I just found myself irritated at little things that he did, or said, or something. So that resulted in us arguing a lot, and finally I broke it off because the fighting wasn't worth the pain. Maybe she was thinking like that?

Good luck, and I really hope you feel better soon :3

[bbei23]

Im really sorry but I don't think shes a nice girl

Its not my place to judge her so if your not happy with what i say just tell me and ill delete my reply.

You said that she couldnt marry you because you werent Korean and Rich. Thats not an excuse to dump someone. She also said because you don't dress up. Im sorry but how narrow sighted is that.
And she doesnt believe in love? Then what does she believe in.

You could do so much better, Honey if your heart was really broken you'd be dead so move on. She obviously doesnt apprieciate what you've done for her and the fact that you'll change how you dress and change so many other things for her shows how much of a great guy you are and if she can't realise that then why do you still want her?

-hoped i helped a little bit

[machii]

i don't wanna jump to any conclusions..

but the way that she has been acting seems like she met someone new while she was in England.. even though she's denying it..

she can't just simply lose interest in you all of a sudden without a good explanation.. \:

[_ATELIER]

bleh. her loss then. i'm gonna be judgmental and see her as someone who's completely close minded lol.
for her to want a rich guy who's her own ethnicity is the mini coopertiest excuse ever. but hey at least she didn't beat around the bush! better out in the open than ..catching her red handed with some other guy right? w/e just suck it up and move on, you're 20, plenty of pretty/open minded chicks out there. =P

[starperson]

Something bad must have happened to her, I really think most girls dont just do that.
The feelings are too deep. Something is wrong with her. I know this sounds dumb but I think
she might want to see a doctor, or a therapist. It does help regardless what people say.
Maybe not a therapist, because they can really suck. But pills help!~

Good luck to you, I think you both will pull through!

[myluckyself]

i don't wanna jump to any conclusions..

but the way that she has been acting seems like she met someone new while she was in England.. even though she's denying it..

she can't just simply lose interest in you all of a sudden without a good explanation.. \:

maybe she is using the "lost interest in you" as an excuse, coz she doesnt want you finding out that she's met someone new?

argh this is getting complicated :S

[moonlightmercielgo]

It is true that maybe she was a bit shallow. But as the person that I've been with for 2 years, I do understand her feelings pretty well. She might seem narrow minded at times, but she's really a warm and caring person. Yea it might sound like I'm defending her and maybe I am a bit, but to me she was a great person. I really thought she was the one.. but now I realize that everything is done..a story that was so beautiful .. the love that was there was plentiful.. she showed me love and cared for me.. what we had was real don't you see? But now it's over.. i couldn't be the prince of her dreams.. now this is the end so it seems.. "you weren't the one for me", she spoken.. all i could do was stand there heart broken...meh I'm kind of emo now lol..

[myluckyself]

^ haha sorry, but that sounded like a peom or a song... coz u were rhyming heaps

anyways, im now gonna get straight to the point and just gonna say that you can move on now. there really isnt any point in becoming 'emo' coz of this.

[sidney]

Was she from England? grow up from England? Or did she went to england just for fun.

When I came back from a vacation in Vietnam, I was pretty emo. I didn't talk to anybody or go anywhere for a month. Everybody was confuse on why I suddenly change.....it's really because I miss Vietnam a lot and realize how much it was a part of me when I came back to the US...so yeah..maybe your gf is in the same situation.

I mean when I got back from VN, i didn't even want to talk to my bestfriend/sister/parents.

[colloquy]

I'm guessing something happened when she was in England. In any case, I would distance myself from her to give her space, while keeping some concern from her well being. From her behavior, it seems like she's depressed. I wouldn't try to pry too much into what happened in England, though.