[Ondubu]

My best friend and I are really tight and we tell each other everything.

So then an hour ago, he messaged me on MSN and tells me that he did Ketamine. Well, to put it in bluntly, I was really upset. First, he does weed. . and I was okay with that because weed almost has 0% danger on it (sometimes, I even smoke with him). . and then next he does mushrooms, and then acid and now K. I don't have any words for this. For all I know, he's going to be snorting cocaine and injecting heroin next. D= I already told him how I felt about it and I told him that I'm just really worried. But all he says is that he can assure me that everything's gonna be okay.

The thing is, I don't think things ARE going to be okay. D= are they?
I'm worried for him. And I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I know I can't stop him. I've tried. And all it brings is problems in our friendship so I decided to just let him do whatever he wants. But how far is it gonna go? DDDDX


PS. So I don't know if this is the right thread. If not, please feel free to take the topic out.

[Shikabane Hime]

Forget him. If it bothers you that much and he's unwilling to do anything about it, find someone else to hang around.

Do you know why he's even doing it? Curiosity? Personal issues? "Everyone else does it"? Likes it?

[chopstick^^]

If he knows ur there for him while he's taking drugs, he take it as though ur supporting him, sticking by his side.

So this is strict but it can work, tell him to choose, either keep your friendship or be friends with drugs. If he cherish ur friendship, he choose u. Tell him all the bad things that will happen in his life if he keeps it up. (i think he's unhappy)
tell him all the good things that can happen if he stops, like a better future and life. if he cares for the better life he will quit, or it means he loose a future and his friends. he got to think whats more important to him.
Dont just say, okay.. U got to be like a brother, or a sister. be strict, like a control freak, because it shows u care. so he shuld knw. and if he does quit, ur take him in as a friend.

U dont have to experience bad things in life to learn, if u knw better u avoid it.
No one wants to go thru pain and suffering.

[sixth.]

i think you should find out why he's doing drugs to begin with and work from that.

[P0TAT0]

you can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped

[robotomy]

you can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped

agreed

[watcher]

you can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped

friends dont let friends drive drunk.
you don't say 'oh, he doesnt wanna be helped. let him drive.'

ondubu... usually you will see signs when recreational use of drugs become substance abuse. you will see certain aspects of that person's life slide. whether it's work/academics, personal ambitions, attitude, etc. if you notice this already, do what you have to do to knock some sense back into him. sometimes, some people won't change for the better, but as a friend, you still do whatever you possibly can. sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesnt.

[yabasta]

Hmmm I was meaning to post about this last night but it's such a sensitive issue... I had to sleep over it.

However, I believer watcher above have summed it up most appropriately.

I have a friend like you ondubu and all I can say is ... just watch over him. Protect your friend, don't leave him hanging. But don't be sucked into trouble because of him. Stick to rules when it comes to hanging out with your friend; don't let him drive, even if he gets angry (it's for his own good - if it helps bring your car to parties or his house etc.)

Good luck buddy, it'll take a while before your friend realises what he's doing is damaging to himself and to people around him.

yabasta

[supa'Wanki]

He's on his own now. It's up to him if he wants to fight his addiction. There's not much you can do now, I'm sorry to break it to you. Make him go to rehab and talk it over with him, but don't bluntly tell him to stop, he'll go off on you.

[Seraphyx]

You can't help him at this point because frankly, I don't see anything wrong. From what I've read, it only seems that he's experiment with these drugs. Is he a college student? If so, it is perfectly normal that he is trying all these drugs. If it bothers you so much, that he is trying all these drugs don't be a masochist and stick around.

[rachilde]

All I can say is that Special K can be one hell of a rough drug. I don't know how he's doing these drugs or where, but tell him I don't recommend doing them in a crowded club or any place that he has to move around in. Taken at high doses, Ketamine causes pretty much paralyzing hallucinations and extreme nausea. We don't call it the K-hole for nothing. It's really not the most pleasant thing to be taking. Hearing about people taking Ketamine reminds me of high school kids taking sleeping pills, antihistamines, and cough medicine for quick trips--it's something stupid that you don't want to brag about the morning after.

Ketamine, as far as my information goes, is also not a very popular drug: it was popular during the 80s and early 90s but its popularity has waned since though it still holds some allure for the gay community. Asking for Ketamine usually won't get you anywhere with the conventional drug dealer--and usually obtaining Ketamine involves breaking into a vet office and stealing it. Frankly, Ketamine has become one of those long-forgotten drugs that only specialized groups of people do.

My point with this is that Ketamine, like LSD and shrooms, aren't the most popular street drugs around. Acid and shrooms, demographically, are used by groups of similarly-minded people as something of a group experience. Similarly, Ketamine is usually at least a two-man activity, especially if it's the first time using. Unlike cocaine, you don't just shove a bag of Ketamine into someone's arms and say "here, where's my money"? You usually have a group trip.

So what does this say about your friend? Your friend is currently abusing several relatively low-addictive substances that are hallucination-oriented (though Ketamine doesn't always produce hallucinations) and also group-oriented. The likelihood of him suddenly finding coke or heroin interesting are low, especially considering they are not usually group drugs. I know to stay clear of people on coke because they are monstrous while high. Coke fiends are solitary people because no one can put up with their bean pie PMS antics. But it also says that extracting him from drug using would require extracting him from his group of using friends. It's nearly impossible to get clean when you're with a million other people who are passing shrooms, acid, joints, and ketamine around. I say start with his friends if you feel like you have to take him out of the scene--but good luck trying because that's one of the toughest things to do.

[d a y.b r e a k]

you can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped

word

[supad0rk]

If it starts affecting his personality and how he treats you in some way then you should consider doing something about it. Other than that people have their own lives and choices to make. That is what makes us who we are, we choose to go down a certain path and that is our choice alone. If it is a bad one then we will stop it when we feel like it.

[joogrlpekaun]

So this is strict but it can work, tell him to choose, either keep your friendship or be friends with drugs. If he cherish ur friendship, he choose u.

I'm not saying that's guaranteed not to work, but I think it's more likely to make the OP seem like a "bad friend" to him who's selfish, stubborn, and unaccepting of him, even though the OP really just cares a lot. The OP will seem like the one who doesn't value their friendship enough to him. Giving him an ultimatum at this point is probably the last thing you want to do, for your friend's sake and for the sake of your friendship. But if it does get to the point where the drugs are actually actively getting in the way of your friendship because his behavior and personality have changed that much, you should distance yourself and tell him clearly before you leave him to do his own thing without you that the reason you stopped considering him your best friend was because he changed after he got into doing drugs.

In the meantime, you can continue to show your disapproval, and you don't have to be supportive of his experimentation with drugs and definitely shouldn't join in, but you won't be able to make him stop if he doesn't want to. Even if you're discouraging him, there're probably other people who've been encouraging him to keep trying drugs and helping him get them. What you can do is pretty much what watcher and ¡¥αβαstaα¡ said: try to keep him from self-destructing. Especially if a lot of his other friends are doing the same stuff he is, it'll be good for him to have at least one friend who's not. Besides, for all you know, he'll decide his curiosity and desire to get high are satisfied after a while, though it often doesn't really work like that.