[lovehunter12]

What do u do to please your mum if she finds out your no more a virgin?

My mum found out that I'm no more a virgin.. She's so depressed by it, she fears i might bring down my family's name, that she'd lose dignity..
She keeps crying everyday, complaining about me...
She keeps blaming me for every tiny thing and and thinks negatively of me:(

What should I do to gain her trust again? Or least make her happy?

T__T i'm feeling depressed as welll..

any advices??

[yabasta]

Stop feeling bad for yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. If your family is angry with you losing your virginity, I have to say that's pretty selfish of them. I mean, yeah, okay, fine, your family MAY look bad to the glares of the society - but you couldn't help it right? It's not as if you did things out of intentional hate. Losing one's virginity is a big thing - perhaps your mum is showing that emotion through 'blaming you' ... which is pretty darn hurtful...

Advices wise, I can't think of anything helpful. Perhaps just talk to her again? But just know that people out there, whether in the greater glories of the interweb, or the slightly disgusting version that is the real world, and these people will support you. Hell I don't think you've done anything wrong. Geez, some parents need to act like bloody adults for once.

yabasta

[exoticpeach]

i hate to break it to you but, whats done is done ._. your virginity isn't something you can bring back or replace
you can't bring down the family name if she doesn't tell anyone about it? ... just make sure you don't regret it. she's only upset because well, she's your mother and she only wants whats best for you.
you'll get married one day and by then i hope the person you marry understands.
i don't know what you can do to help the situation with your mother but give her a little space for a while? and hope she puts it behind her because like i said, whats done is done :/

i have a feeling my own mother knows and is silently disappointed ><
well, i hope things turn out well for you.

[Kira_Hyuu]

I'm sorry but how did she find out in the first place? And it's not like ur pregnant i mean i think thats the thing shes really worried about....

Whats do is done....gonna have to let it die down by itself...like theres nothing really immediate u can do to rectify the whole situation...unless u tell her ur getting married like the next day which sorta keeps things up in formality but i guess shes just disappointed...probably wasnt expecting to hear the news....

I'd get urself tested - like u don't want to give her anymore grief...

But again ur mums so fussy like seriously this isn't the 18th Century....it's the 21st....

[Sympathetic]

post

Agreed.

I don't see why you have to feel depressed also. It's not like you got pregnant. And btw, how old are you?

[5.mystline]

Just let her be she'll get over It sooner or later.

[aly*]

I think my mother has a feeling I might not be a virgin, but I've never actually admitted it. xD

It's natural for parents to be disappointed about finding out their kid is having sex before marriage.
Your mom will eventually move on about this "shocking/sad news", but will always be somewhat disappointed deep inside.

I think probably the best you could do now is show her that you're still a good daughter even though you're no longer a virgin.
She's probably now worried that you'll become a bad person or a slut or somthing. xD
Just demonstrate that despite already having experienced sex, that you're still a decent person overall... you know what I mean? ^^

[witchery]

^
Yeah I agree...just prove to her that the fact you lost your virginity doesn't mean anything. You're still the same great old daughter as before. All she can do is accept it...she's from a different generation and has different values, conflicts between hers and yours are bound to arise.
Although your mum shouldn't be worrying about you hurting your family's reputation though....if you can keep a lid on it, that is....=S

[Shikabane Hime]

Tell her to get over it. Everyone does it, and you wanted to do it as well. If she can't handle it, give you some money so you can leave the house and live on your own. She'll regret it then.

[chopstick^^]

When ur parents say dont give ur virgnity away, those are wise words.
Because, u know.. they won't say that if they young, but they said that when they old.
which means they grew to realise the importance of keeping ur virgnity.

Maybe when u grow up and become a mum, ur say the same thing. i bet u.

[kyung mi]

you will realise what she is "thinking, feeling" when you become a mother yourself.
you only want the best for your child. to keep and make sure that your child is safe.

you will understand when you become older and realise 'thats why" my mom was like that..

[RYUUSEi]

How is it that you've put your family in bad reputation because of this? Are you walking around with a sign saying "CAUTION! NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE"? Because that's the only way I can think of that lets everybody know that you're not a virgin and you've ruined your whole family as well as your mother's dignity as a woman, lol.

Your mother is blowing things out of proportion. I mean, crying every day? I understand if she's upset and would maybe be disappointed that you lost it at an early age (I don't even know how old you are or if you did it with the guy you truly love but whatever, I'm just assuming here) but if it's to the point where she's making you feel depressed? You're not pregnant and hopefully, you're old enough to have made this decision wisely and thought it through, so there's no reason for her to drag things out like this. It's done and over with and you're still safe as well as healthy.

[Aziraphale]

1. Read the announcement.

2. There's already a topic on Asian parents in GD.