[milk;cloud]

So me and my boyfriend, or least the guy i am currently seeing is living a dream that many human can only fantasize about. We both go to work together, share our own little house/apartment together in this small suburb town, it may be small but it is very comfy. We both share the same similar interest and really love and adore each other, we even have our own little cute doggy name Bu bu, that we think and love as our kid.

A happy family no? that's what i would of thought, till the dreadful day where everything changed...

Me and my hubby both have the same view on abstinence on sex till marriage, which is why we get along so well. But lately it been raining here and we can't go on our daily jog or do any activity outdoor. We ended up watching a movie and got bored, sadly we both scummed into the sin of sex.

It is not that bad so i have thought, but now he wants it every day of the hour, i just can't bare this pain and work. He has gotten into a argument with me countless time when i refuse to get on my knees, and he has threaten to leave me.

Now i honestly so lost, i am scared to lose my first love of my life. What shall i ever do!?

Please help! any constructive response will help me and my decision on this subject. I appreciate all the help guys! =)

[i.love.RSX]

AWWWWWWWWWW SAD STORY BE STRONG BABBYYYY GRLLL

[vi3txskillsz]

Wtf -___- Well, so that's what you do when you get bored sex? Well, once he has some of sex, he's not gonna wait till marriage anymore, I can tell you that. It's an addiction that nobody can control.

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

wait.... I'm curious.
In your 411 people have been saying you're 14.
that was at 2007. Now it's 2009... you're uh 15 I assume? since it's only the beginning of the yr.
So 15? You live with your bf?
I dont know. That seems..... uh.... i don't know how to say it.

but anyways, if you're 15, ditch him. You're only 15/16 for goodness sake.

if you're not, then talk about it with him

[milk;cloud]

wait.... I'm curious.
In your 411 people have been saying you're 14.
that was at 2007. Now it's 2009... you're uh 15 I assume? since it's only the beginning of the yr.
So 15? You live with your bf?
I dont know. That seems..... uh.... i don't know how to say it.

but anyways, if you're 15, ditch him. You're only 15/16 for goodness sake.

if you're not, then talk about it with him

i have a part time job, although we don't make as much, which cause my poor lover to get a 2nd job, since he is 8 years older then me, he manage to get some jobs late at night to help support us. I will try and get another job to help out when i turn 18. It shouldn't be that hard, least i hope not. He works hard and come home asking for some favors, i can't bare to say no to him as much as it hurts me.

[i.love.RSX]

"since he is 8 years older then me, he manage to get some jobs late at night"

he works at the corner?

[Azngel]

so you are 15/16 and hes 23/24? well i sure hope you live in taiwan b/c in the US this sex thing would send his ass to jail.

and your parents are okay with you living with your bf at such a young age?

[vanEIK]

"when i refuse to get on my knees" Is that figuratively speaking, or literally?

You need to speak with him on a serious note, tell me you don't want to have a sexual relationship right now (which is what I assume you want, that is).

If he leaves you because of that .. simply because you refuse to give him sex so often, then I don't know, he doesn't sound like the man for you, I'm sorry. If he can't put love before sex, then you need to tell him that he needs to.

I would understand if your relationship was rocky, and the sex maybe became a catalyst to a break up, but it seemed fine until that point. He needs to know what you want, don't back down. You need to stand up for yourself.

Edit: Wow, the age thing .. I don't know x:

[milk;cloud]

so you are 15/16 and hes 23/24? well i sure hope you live in taiwan b/c in the US this sex thing would send his ass to jail.

and your parents are okay with you living with your bf at such a young age?

i did not get along with my parent very well, we just did not see eye to eye since my mom is a alcoholic that is drunk from morning till night and my dad always bring his perverted friends over that always trying to get with me and tryin to molest me. It is disgusting! I ran away and when i came back months later, they had moved to some different town for a job, that is what the neighbor had told me. My heart literally broke and i was down in tears. Coincidentally i ran into this guy that gave me a home and comforted me through my tough time, which now he end up as my boyfriend.

[Shikabane Hime]

Well if he's providing you with everything, you SHOULD in theory be giving him your body as payment.
It's not like you really have any other choice anyways.

[Azngel]

soooo...just out of curiousity, does your bf post on soompi?

[littlejade]

See? .. This is why i never support sex before marriage. Because, the girl is not at any advantage.
He is, he got ur virgnity, and now he's threaten to leave u. So he can go get another girl's virgnity instead.
How irreponsible? ... This is why u shouldn't live with your boyfriend.. wot was u thinking? ..

If u love him, get married.. i mean, how long was u plannin to live together for?

U must b a really pretty girl, its hard to find a genuine nice guy, when ur pretty. U just never knw wot he's falling for.

sorry, i hope he isn't that bad. But he's defently selfish.

[Shikabane Hime]

How irreponsible? ... This is why u shouldn't live with your boyfriend.. wot was u thinking? ..

Her family has problems, she ran away, they moved out, she came back, they're already gone, she's screwed.
And here comes the knight in shining armor, who happens to be a perverted sex dog.

I mean seriously, what's she going to do if he goes to jail? Live on the streets?

[imhitomi]

wait....you're under 18 and you're living with your 20-something boyfriend? SOMEONE CALL THE PARTY VAN AND CHRIS HANSEN.

Seriously? How did any of this seem like a good idea? 9/10 times, if a girl that young is dating a guy that much older, he's a loser or just in it for the hanky-panky.

Dump this guy, it's bad news. He can go to jail. Statutory rape.

[rarawong]

You're 15/16!! Honestly, you should be studying hard in school for your future. I would dump this guy if I were you. He's not really doing you any good and he's kinda getting abusive and threatening which is DEF not good. Besides, like the ppl above me said. Its illegal for him to date you anyways let alone force you to have sex with him. If you are staying with him because you are scared of losing the only person that cares about you its time to let go. There are better people out there waiting for you who could love u 1000X more than he does.

[Lie]

i did not get along with my parent very well, we just did not see eye to eye since my mom is a alcoholic that is drunk from morning till night and my dad always bring his perverted friends over that always trying to get with me and tryin to molest me. It is disgusting! I ran away and when i came back months later, they had moved to some different town for a job, that is what the neighbor had told me. My heart literally broke and i was down in tears. Coincidentally i ran into this guy that gave me a home and comforted me through my tough time, which now he end up as my boyfriend.

Your life sounds like a novel.

[littlejade]

Her family has problems, she ran away, they moved out, she came back, they're already gone, she's screwed.
And here comes the knight in shining armor, who happens to be a perverted sex dog.

I mean seriously, what's she going to do if he goes to jail? Live on the streets?

She can always work, earn and live on her own, or with her friends or relatives.
I don't know how the law is like in U.S or Canada, but where i live, we can get lots of support.

It's not her fault, its her boyfriend. I mean, was she planning to live for free? .. then its her fault.

If she was living for a while, so she can get a job and move. Then thats more like it.

Its always tempting for things to happen if they live together. So i never support it. Only live together when ur married.

[Shikabane Hime]

I would say it's her fault. She gave consent. In essence, her giving permission resulted in this.
It's not like he raped her on that rainy day.

[colloquy]

He gets pissed if you refuse to get down on your knees every hour of the day? IS HE SERIOUS?

First off, your man must be bad in bed, or else you wouldn't be dwelling on 'the sin of sex.' If he's not bothering to get you down the road of satisfaction, if you know what I mean, then there's a big problem. If he's not even bothering to try, then I'd say that no... he's not a man. Relationships are two-way streets, and if he's not fulfilling his side of the bargain, I'd really gtfo.

I guess you can try to talk about him first, but if he continues to have this accusatory attitude, I'd move out.

If what I read about your family is right, sorry, but what are you thinking? I hope you have a job and the means to support yourself, because REALLY... if he's disrespecting you and treating you like a sex slave, then big flashing lights are going off in my head. Don't let anyone treat you like an inferior, unless you're at work and it's in a respectable place. I'm sure he knows about your family history, and he's taking advantage of your - no offense - gullible sense of mind. You seem rather attached to be frightened over the fact that he might move out. I'd be like, fine, move out then and leave the house to me!! Git.

However, this all seems rather dramatic, so I don't know if it's exactly true or not.

[pocketsoul]

Well if he's providing you with everything, you SHOULD in theory be giving him your body as payment.
It's not like you really have any other choice anyways.

Um, what?

Everyone is speaking in this condescending tone because you're so young, but you sound like you've been through so much . I honestly am at a loss of advice right now. On one hand, you don't deserve this treatment from anyone. On the other hand, I know that it would be nearly impossible for you to leave everything you have and be self sufficient at your age =/.

And to answer the thread title's question: No, this isn't really love. If you were truly in love with him, you wouldn't have to question it. Besides that, love isn't about control; it's about mutual understanding and trust and care. Every time he insists you that you need to have sex with him, that is breaking all of those bonds. If you are convinced that you love him, remember this: The person you used to love isn't the same person now. The sad fact of life is that people change.