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Complicated Situation my girlfriend.
#2
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Posted 24 January 2009 - 02:35 AM
....wow. hahaha. Okay, to be honest I had a lot of trouble reading that- you were sort of all over the place there. But uh, I'll do my best to attempt to give some advice based on what I sort of understood about the situation.
In my opinion, I think you should talk to her. I understand why she might want to keep the relationship a secret if she is actually keeping it a secret for the reason you said, but from the way you talk about what has been happening- it really does not seem as if that is actually the reason. You say she told "Hawaii" that she still likes "China"? And apparently there are all these other guys who like her and are flirting with her too? I hope you're not offended by my saying this, but it really seems as if she is keeping this "relationship" a secret because maybe she just isn't into you all that much? It kind of seems like, since she still likes "China", she wishes to keep your relationship a secret, so she can still spend time with China and maybe have a chance with him. Unless of course "China" is one of the few people who know about this relationship, in which case I still think there may be other reasons why she's keeping this a secret, but it may go beyond the "China" thing. Also as a side note, if you do decide to talk to her- DO NOT make it a confrontation. Keep it serious of course, because you do want answers, but do not attack her with your words, or else she will get defensive, and you will end up in a fight, not in a discussion that will give you the information you need to hear.
Anyways; as for "China", since he is apparently your "sort of bestfriendish [but not really?]" I really think you should talk to him about this. Try not to bring up what was said to Hawaii by Korea about her liking China still (because if Korea finds out Hawaii told you what Korea told her in secret, you could ruin their friendship, which in turn might ruin your friendship with Hawaii), but you should have a talk with him about your relationship with Korea. Or at the very least try and work out what his feelings may be for Korea, so you can see where he stands on the issue and figure it out that way.
For the silence thing, I would just try and do my best to keep the conversation going. Are the silences awkward silences? Or are they comfortable in the least? There is a chance that maybe she feels comfortable enough around you to have these silences, and you may just be overthinking it all adding it to the other list of things that are happening.
Saving a relationship? If the relationship is meant to be saved, it will be. If it isn't, as hard as it may be, you might just have to move on and find someone else. From your writing, it seems as though you are still very young [possibly early high school? sorry if you're older..], so I think you will have a lot of time to meet other people. Good luck in your relationship and the future. I really do think it will be best if you talk to both Korea and China to get all this settled, and then think about what to do with things from there.
Hope I helped at all. It was a little hard to follow what you were talking about haha
edit: Oh, just out of curiousity, how long have you two been dating anyways?
In my opinion, I think you should talk to her. I understand why she might want to keep the relationship a secret if she is actually keeping it a secret for the reason you said, but from the way you talk about what has been happening- it really does not seem as if that is actually the reason. You say she told "Hawaii" that she still likes "China"? And apparently there are all these other guys who like her and are flirting with her too? I hope you're not offended by my saying this, but it really seems as if she is keeping this "relationship" a secret because maybe she just isn't into you all that much? It kind of seems like, since she still likes "China", she wishes to keep your relationship a secret, so she can still spend time with China and maybe have a chance with him. Unless of course "China" is one of the few people who know about this relationship, in which case I still think there may be other reasons why she's keeping this a secret, but it may go beyond the "China" thing. Also as a side note, if you do decide to talk to her- DO NOT make it a confrontation. Keep it serious of course, because you do want answers, but do not attack her with your words, or else she will get defensive, and you will end up in a fight, not in a discussion that will give you the information you need to hear.
Anyways; as for "China", since he is apparently your "sort of bestfriendish [but not really?]" I really think you should talk to him about this. Try not to bring up what was said to Hawaii by Korea about her liking China still (because if Korea finds out Hawaii told you what Korea told her in secret, you could ruin their friendship, which in turn might ruin your friendship with Hawaii), but you should have a talk with him about your relationship with Korea. Or at the very least try and work out what his feelings may be for Korea, so you can see where he stands on the issue and figure it out that way.
For the silence thing, I would just try and do my best to keep the conversation going. Are the silences awkward silences? Or are they comfortable in the least? There is a chance that maybe she feels comfortable enough around you to have these silences, and you may just be overthinking it all adding it to the other list of things that are happening.
Saving a relationship? If the relationship is meant to be saved, it will be. If it isn't, as hard as it may be, you might just have to move on and find someone else. From your writing, it seems as though you are still very young [possibly early high school? sorry if you're older..], so I think you will have a lot of time to meet other people. Good luck in your relationship and the future. I really do think it will be best if you talk to both Korea and China to get all this settled, and then think about what to do with things from there.
Hope I helped at all. It was a little hard to follow what you were talking about haha
edit: Oh, just out of curiousity, how long have you two been dating anyways?
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#3
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Posted 24 January 2009 - 02:43 AM
Haha damn. I had to re-read it several times. Your wrting is horrible. Anyway, to me it looks like shes playing you. Keeping your relationship as a "secret" because she doesn't want other guys to be jealous?! Thats just disrespectful. You don't let girls get away with stupid sh!t like that. You have to stand your ground. Sounds like shes not ready to be in a real relationship and on top of that, she probably likes your friend more.
It may be hard since you liked her for so long, but if she wants to be with another man, then let her be, you're better off with another girl who will treat you with respect. You have to be the only guy she wants to be with or nothing at all.
EDIT: And on top of that you guys have long silences when you talk? Run for your life.
It may be hard since you liked her for so long, but if she wants to be with another man, then let her be, you're better off with another girl who will treat you with respect. You have to be the only guy she wants to be with or nothing at all.
EDIT: And on top of that you guys have long silences when you talk? Run for your life.
#4
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Posted 24 January 2009 - 06:42 AM
@_@ You're writing really makes me crazy... LOL...
1) I think she's fooling you around? I mean like you said, korea doesn't know how to be in a relationship den why start one with you?
2) She admited to "Hawaii" that she likes "China" den why still be in a relationship with you when she doesn't like you?
3) She seeks attention. She still flirts with guys and all to get their attention.
I can tell you that she prefer "fans" than "boyfriend"
In simply words, she wants attention from various guys rather than only one guy...
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Solution
1) Talk to China about your relationship with Korea. I mean you are friends, try bringing up the conversation about Korea when you're with him.
Maybe even try to find out if he likes Korea too...
2) Talk to Korea about your feelings. Tell her what you mean to her and tell her how much she's driving you up the wall with her "weather" attitude
p.s : don't mention anything about what Hawaii tells you cause it may turn ugly...
So, i hope it helps... good luck~
1) I think she's fooling you around? I mean like you said, korea doesn't know how to be in a relationship den why start one with you?
2) She admited to "Hawaii" that she likes "China" den why still be in a relationship with you when she doesn't like you?
3) She seeks attention. She still flirts with guys and all to get their attention.
I can tell you that she prefer "fans" than "boyfriend"
In simply words, she wants attention from various guys rather than only one guy...
--------
Solution
1) Talk to China about your relationship with Korea. I mean you are friends, try bringing up the conversation about Korea when you're with him.
Maybe even try to find out if he likes Korea too...
2) Talk to Korea about your feelings. Tell her what you mean to her and tell her how much she's driving you up the wall with her "weather" attitude
p.s : don't mention anything about what Hawaii tells you cause it may turn ugly...
So, i hope it helps... good luck~
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#5
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Posted 24 January 2009 - 07:10 AM
She's going to end up breaking up with you because she's obviously not really that into you (you wouldn't break up with her because you've been desperate to be with her for awhile now), and she's certainly not mature enough to handle an actual relationship. That's how these things go unfortunately.
#6
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Posted 24 January 2009 - 09:42 AM
pains me to read responses.
but for me it was different.. she didnt openly tell people she liked another guy
.....
it sucks when you like someone, and you don't want to let go because you hope that you'll get together (in your case, hoping that you'll be the only one she has in mind)
but sometimes its hopeless. i think you should let go, if you're not in too deep.. if you are in too deep, none of us can make you change your mind, the only thing we can do is screw you up, and make you question your relationship more than you already are.
but for me it was different.. she didnt openly tell people she liked another guy
.....
it sucks when you like someone, and you don't want to let go because you hope that you'll get together (in your case, hoping that you'll be the only one she has in mind)
but sometimes its hopeless. i think you should let go, if you're not in too deep.. if you are in too deep, none of us can make you change your mind, the only thing we can do is screw you up, and make you question your relationship more than you already are.
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