[chewy130]

Gosh iunno what to do, this girls hecka nice to me and i think she prolly likes me but the thing is i don't really find her attractive..
iunno if im just a shallow person or w/e because she has dated other guys before and she seems to have a lot a friends to who don't seem to judge her by the way she looks.

i feel like a jerk and i don't wanna hurt her or something especially with valentines day coming up i get a feeling she might ask me out or something.
so my question is if she asks me out what should i do? should i just go out with her or not? and if i say no whats the best way to say it?

just so you have a lil info about me and her...

ME: im 17 and i have NEVER had a GF before and i hardly talk to girls because i have no idea how to approach them. on a plus side if i make a relationship with her it could just be a short term one anyways and plus i'd be gaining dating skills (yes i know i sound like a ass)

her: shes really nice and she has a great personalty and she'd go out of the way to do something for me and she always listens to what i have to say and she always remember it...and she made me a bracelet and borrow her cd

sooo yeah what u think? advice?

[simplicity90]

personality is what people mostly look for but i think attractiveness plays a significant role too. you can't help it if you don't find her attractive. if you don't like her like that then you don't. if she asks you out i suggest telling her that valentine's day is meant for people to spend with their special someone and that you just don't see her in that way. if she does like you, you shouldn't say yes for simply gaining experience. that would be just leading her on, which is a big no no.

[hishari]

One day you will like a girl, and that girl will like your personality but won't find you attractive.
Things work this way, unfortunately.

[chewy130]

personality is what people mostly look for but i think attractiveness plays a significant role too. you can't help it if you don't find her attractive. if you don't like her like that then you don't. if she asks you out i suggest telling her that valentine's day is meant for people to spend with their special someone and that you just don't see her in that way. if she does like you, you shouldn't say yes for simply gaining experience. that would be just leading her on, which is a big no no.

ty..that was helpful but i dont know if i will say what u suggested above, can't imagine myself saying that

One day you will like a girl, and that girl will like your personality but won't find you attractive.
Things work this way, unfortunately.

sadly

i wish the world was like an anime sometimes, everyone is beautiful and relationships arent as complicated

[watcher]

nobody deserves a pity date. if you're going to go out with her, at least have an open mind and make a sincere attempt. and be honest. if you give this girl a try, let her know where you stand. you don't have the feelings yet, but you think she's a great person, so you want to give it a try. nothing more, nothing less.

however, if you can't find it in your heart to sincerely give it a try, then just let her know you're not interested. if she asks why, just say you can't feel the connection.

most important thing is making sure that you keep your integrity. if you gonna give it a try, then give it a try. if you're gonna break under pressure, dont bother.

[KAITOU KID.]

i wish the world was like an anime sometimes, everyone is beautiful and relationships arent as complicated

no! the relationships are hella complicated if you delve far enough into the mindfux ones x)
but there is always the 'destined one' so to speak, so yes - how much easier it would be... lol


Mmm situation kinda fails. You don't find her attractive in the very least? Then I'd say no (I get what you're saying about experience or whatever...well if you're down with being an ass go for it ;p) but yeah.
Eh.

[chewy130]

im just asking this because once again i have never had a GF before and this will be my first one so to me it seems like a big deal, i just dont wanna have any bad memories, i also feel like if go out with her she would be the last person i'd go out with, although its prolly improbable ..gah sorry iuno how 2 explain it

[TICKLE ME Jx2]

that exact same thing happened to me.
I knew this one guy who has a great personality and everything, but I didn't find him attractive at all.

[EHNerJI]

ehh well, if you don't like her.. you shouldn't go out with her..? o.o;
why are you even considering it, btw? lol. cuz you feel sorry for her? =/
honestly, i'd rather be straight out rejected by a guy,
than be with him and have him not like me that way.. lol xD
but, that's just me ~~ lol. XD
however, if you do feel like you can be sincere, go ahead..
but the hesitation kinda makes it seem like it's better if you're just friends..

btw, until like the last part.. i totally thought you were the guy i like D:
totally describes him HAHA.

[Tone]

soon enough she'll be bored with you and find someone else, and thats when you regret the chance you once had with her.

shes unattractive as in overweight? cause that can always change.

[watcher]

im just asking this because once again i have never had a GF before and this will be my first one so to me it seems like a big deal, i just dont wanna have any bad memories, i also feel like if go out with her she would be the last person i'd go out with, although its prolly improbable ..gah sorry iuno how 2 explain it

you never had a gf before. i've had plenty. so trust me when i say that relationships naturally come and go. good times will come with the bad times. but if anything, you gotta experience it first before you decide what is good, what is bad, who is a keeper and who is meant to pass by in your life. if you want your final love to be a special one, then don't go all the way with any relationship until you get married. in the end, most of us make the mistake of treating our first love as our last, but it doesn't change where you are at that point in life...that you love someone today, and you plan on making it work tomorrow.

but speaking from man to man, what's more important than a relationship is learning how to be a man first. don't be wishy washy like so many guys in these forums. you seem like a good kid. hope it works out for you

[chewy130]

ehh well, if you don't like her.. you shouldn't go out with her..? o.o;
why are you even considering it, btw? lol. cuz you feel sorry for her? =/
honestly, i'd rather be straight out rejected by a guy,
than be with him and have him not like me that way.. lol xD
but, that's just me ~~ lol. XD
however, if you do feel like you can be sincere, go ahead..
but the hesitation kinda makes it seem like it's better if you're just friends..

btw, until like the last part.. i totally thought you were the guy i like D:
totally describes him HAHA.

haha maybe i am. that would be awkward

soon enough she'll be bored with you and find someone else, and thats when you regret the chance you once had with her.

shes unattractive as in overweight? cause that can always change.

shes not fat, but even if she was i wouldnt want to have to ask her to change herself jsut to satisfy me...nor wud i wait and hope she gets skinny if thats what ur suggesting..

hm...i think if she brushed her teeth and got braces she would look much better tho

[blush]

If you dont find her attractive, there just won't be a healthy relationship (lol unless you're planning for long distance and never seeing her but then thats still messed up hahaha).
For her sake, I don't think you should consider it and don't lead her on either..
You may think you're being nice and friendly too her, but she might think you're interested, sorry to say.

tbh, I think you should wait for your relationship to be one with a girl you find beautiful inside and out.
Why? Well, yeah, relationships come and go but make your first memorable, you know? xD

edit:

i wish the world was like an anime sometimes, everyone is beautiful and relationships arent as complicated

ANIME = DRAMAMAMAMAMA. T__T! hahahah or at least the ones I watch.

[5.mystline]

You should at least give her a chance?..

[_dax_]

Tell her you don't celebrate Valentines Day

[jisatsu]

trust me, girls can always change their looks. you'd be surprised. beauty comes and goes...
if her personality is already awesome, i say go for it.

[justanormalguy.]

Wow, its freaky how strikingly similar your predicament is to mine at the moment. My plan, was to find her a bf (which I hoped would have solved my problem), and at the moment its kinda working, she's attracted to the guy I found, basically get her off my back, but she's still outright stating shes still attracted to me (this totally freaks me out cause shes basically doing this on a daily basis over msn, etc). No idea how this is going to pan out since the guy, one of my buddies, is basically head over heels for her. Hopefully things work out for the best. Note, don't do the whole ignore her thing, never works out and they'll just get pissed at you which is never good.

[carmelittalucrece]

i know what you mean. But honestly: Atractiveness DOES matter a LOT. Especially in the dating-line-thingy. Don t go out with her if you don t find her atractive and just want to "work out"/"improve your skills whatever". YOu know - you�ll have to see her after that date and say the day Won�t be a catastrophe (i fear it will however, since she�ll have all kinds of hopes and everything -Girls in love don�t see reality, really....) and everything will be ok: things will go on and on and on - and eventually you�d have to "break it" to her and THEN she�ll be really hurt cuz she has spent so much time dreaming, and hoping and imaging things.. and she�ll think herself dumb and whatnot. DOn�t do it.

[vulgar812]

...And this is the part where you say to her, "Let's just be friends". A relationship won't work unless you're both emotionally and physically attracted to her.

[prisonerzero]

Personality plays a big role, but attractive...ness plays a bit as well. If she's not attractive to you and it makes you not want to date her, don't waste her time.