[Shikabane Hime]

1: Do you think beatings spankings are appropriate?
2: Have you ever been beaten spanked?

When I say beaten, I mean nothing life-threatening. Just a casual spanking or a broomstick on your palm. With good intention on the giver's side.

EDIT: yes, now it says spanking. This isn't a topic about child abuse.

So when I was in my elementary school ages, I remember getting a beating for doing what was considered unacceptable (you can take it however you wish).

For example I stole a cookie, and I got a whacking on the hand. Or I kicked some stupid kid's ass, and I got a beating.
Fond memories. I suppose it shaped my morals I have today.

I was having a conversation with some chinese colleagues and they said they also experieneced the same things. They believe that physical disciplining was actually a good thing and that it "corrected their ways." Then this other guy (who was, not chinese) objected and said that any form of physical violence should NOT be used as disciplinary practice.

Reasons such as:
-they're not going to learn from it anyways
-it'll give them a bad impression of what love is (cause you know, you're supposed to love your children or whatnot)
-they're going to become more rebellious and do worse things

And then explained that discipline should be approached differently, "grounding them" for example so they can reflect on what they did and think about what was so wrong about their actions or behaviors.

Obviously, being raised in a household where beating was used, I wouldn't understand where he's coming from. And since we all know a lot of families actually beat their kids with a stick or whatnot, especially asian families, many people on here could probably relate.

[trankimuyen]

1. I think being whacked on the hand or something (ONCE OR TWICE) and light things like that are appropriate, actual abuse is not.
2. No I've never been beaten.

I think grounding does squat by the way.

[XxKhmerBoiXx]

1.It depends on what the kid did.
2.I got beat by a belt before if that counts.

[Jentage]

LOOOOOOOOL!

When I was like 5 or 6, my mom bought me these math/reading/grammar practice books to do while i was home; I decided to cheat and look on the back of the book for the answer key.

My mom got angry and beat me up with a hanger until it broke.. Then she made me go down on my knees and pull my ears for like 30 mins..looooooooooooooooool! I'll never forget that.

Then, another time----- well she forced me to sleep in the basement lol.

However, I've never ever been grounded.

[Miyurin]

My parents physically disciplined me up to 14 : (
Even now, if I do things badly then my father especially will hit me with those hard rubber/leather sandals. (Rarely)
My mom occasionally fist beats me if I argue with her too much. (Sometimes)

I remember once my dad hit my face 10 times with a sandal, until blood started to surface through the pores on my nose. (When I was 9?)
My mom broke a hanger hitting me, and made my hand bleed. ( When I was 12?)
She also threw a stapler at my head... And my dad was CLOSE to using a vacuum cleaner to hit me over the head. (He took it over his head.)

Now it's just my mom that hits me most of the time. I would say once every 1/2 months where we would verbally argue so much, that she would use physical violence.

I just get mild bruises and pain that goes away fairly quickly. ( Within an hour or so.)

Hate my parents for using physical violence. Their parents didn't beat THEM up, so the bully syndrome can't be used as an excuse.

[Aziangurlmoto]

As a child I received spankings, and I think it is an appropriate way to discipline children. No striking, punching, or slapping. Just spanking them on the butt will do ^^

[5.mystline]

1: Do you think beatings are appropriate? No, but maybe slightly nothing full force..
2: Have you ever been beaten? fshure

[heartnet]

If I were to apply my own logic, I would say that beating is appropriate, considering I do what I want. I think it's okay once in a while, just to prove that you can't f*** with your parents until you grow up.

Excessive beating, however, is great, especially if you want to psychologically screw up a child for the rest of his or her life.

Not learn something? Oh yes they will. It's a little something called respect. There's nothing I can't stand more than a little kid that doesn't know his place. Which also branches into that idea of rebellion. I'm pretty sure that a spoiled brat would be more rebellious, than, say, a kid who got his ass beaten and is completely insecure.

Grounding?? The f**k? That never works, at least with me.

Yep, asian parents here.. It especially sucks when you take a sword fighting class, making an array of weapons readily available to your parents.


I rambled a lot, and probably didn't answer the questions, who knows.

[yabasta]

Lol what an interesting title - 'discipline' lol...

Corporal punishment is outlawed in NZ (and ... some other countries I think) but laws rarely help kids out that are seriously injured, both mentally and physically.

I'm not sorry to say this, there is no justifiable reason to hit a child to discipline them.

No defence of culture or religion, or whatever. No justification. If you see it happening, intervene. Stop those trigger-happy parents.

IT'S NOT OKAY - EVER

yabasta

edit: found this on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poRjb4m8RXk

[evilwaffles]

I think spanking should be enough for discipline. I was hit with a fly swatter, the wooden stick from the shades, the back scratching thing, slapped+smacked, plus other things. My older brothers had it worst than I did. My parents stopped after my brothers and myself got to an certain age plus my parents never grounded us.

[terrorist]

1.- beating is appropriate, abuse is not.
2.- i was beat all the time, i don't regret it lol.

[superhumanchichi]

1: Do you think beatings are appropriate?

Not really. I mean I've seen someone who used to be severely beaten by her mom and she's a really mature individual. Yet I've also seen some children whose parents don't beat them are kind of immature. Then again, I don't want to generalize. I don't know, I think if it can be avoided, parents should restrain from beating their children. Scolding, sure, but beating...ehhh....

2: Have you ever been beaten?

No, I was never beaten and I'm fine today.

[colloquy]

No. I used to get hit for minuscule things, and I can say that it seriously affected how I interacted with people. I was deathly scared of any form of authority. I never spoke up, even when I probably should have. I also think it's the reason many Asians have the "sit down and nod" thing going on.

I advocate an authoritative style of parenting, not an authoritarian one. Try other methods before resorting to the stick, although I agree that when used properly and seldom, physical discipline can be effective.

[ebolainmemphis]

1. Yes. Case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Es_uivijpek Some kids just need to be shut up with the palm. Or a belt. Or another nearby object.
2. Yes for fighting with my siblings and yelling too much.

[yabasta]

It's not okay. Ever.

Don't you get the message? There's no excuse, no 'special instance' where you hit a child.

Even with the screaming kid in the shopping centre, you don't smack him infront of other people, making him smaller than he is; forcing him to feel embarassed. He should be taught not to take things without asking, not smacked infront of other people. Even as a joke, that is not funny.

yabasta

[xxxxxxx]

1: Do you think beatings are appropriate?
to some extent. It depends.


2: Have you ever been beaten?
I've gotten spanked and I was forced to kneel for hours . I learned from it. My parents weren't abusing me, they were just disciplining me. I'm grateful that they did discipline me. I was a disrespectful kid back then.

[xdeathberry]

I say it's appropriate for most cases.
Abuse is unacceptable.
I think some people here are confusing "abuse" with "beating", which is a form of punishment out of love FOR the child to make them not do bad things / not grow into a bad person.

yes, some people don't need to be hit to grow up to be a good person, but some people do.
Trust me.

And yes, I've been beaten when I was little.
The only physcological affect it has on anyone is that the child does not wish to do whatever bad thing they did again.
If it ends in having the child being mentally scarred, that's ABUSING. and NOT beating.

They're totally different.

[yabasta]

I think you're confusing yourself to be a psychologist. The 'only' psychological effect is 'that the child does not repeat bad behaviour'?

Please, you can even google or use wikipedia to find substantial amount of evidence that supports the view that domestic violence or 'discipline' results in negative impact for the child.

You are also wrong that discipline is 'punishment out of love' - discipline is discipline, there is no 'interpretation' of it. It is not a punishment of love, it is a punishment. End of definition. You do not beat your child however lightly because you love them, you correct their behaviours because you know what they're doing is wrong.

Mind you, everyone is entitled to their opinions on the matter - but I'm on the view that this is a problem for everyone in the society. I think parents who see no problem with beating their kids as a form of punishment or discipline as callous individuals who are selfish. They don't consider the impacts their kids may have to the rest of society. We all live in the same world, look after your damn kids so that they don't screw the rest of us over.

There is always an alternative to raising your hand.

yabasta

[imhitomi]

Man, I got THRASHED as a kid! I probably only stopped getting whacked when I was about 15 maybe? I don't resent my dad for it one bit. I turned out to be a very good kid. :3

People who say children don't learn from being beaten... seriously?? You must be really retarded if you don't learn from it. You do something. You get hit. Duh, don't do it again. If that is not adding up in your mind, well, you're hopeless. It's classical conditioning. Even animals learn this way.

My parents don't love me any less becuase they beat me. It's tough love. If you don't punish your kids, it means you don't care what they do. When your parents punish you, it means that they still care.

I never learned anything from being grounded, ever. It was boring, that's it. I used to sneak out my window when I was younger and go play with my friends while I was "grounded." A beating is way more effective than grounding.

The only time i think beating is bad is when parents use it to solve every problem. When that happens, kids figure they are going to get hit no matter what and nothing they do will make a difference. Beating should be used as a last resort if the child is not following the rules after being told several times.

[loverlyxcth]

1: Do you think beatings are appropriate?
I think up to a certain age yes. After kids are in their teens the beating have probably taught them enough and they know what to do. But I guess it depends on the beatings. if it's really bad it'll definitely not do any good to the kids, but if it's mild I think it's fine.

For me I don't think it's beatings or abuse.
I think it's literally a slap onto the right path, which we all may need.

2: Have you ever been beaten?
Yes, not badly though.
Worst was getting hit with a rule on the back of my knees (knee pits)
Got bruises but that's about the worst and it wasn't that bad.
6th grade
also that was the last "beating" i've ever gotten

edit//

Oh and I've never been grounded.
My parents' discipline was never harsh to the point where i would refer to it as a beating
so i'd prefer their form of discipline over being grounded.
you get a slap instead of loss of freedom.