[mz simmonz]

My mom has always been strict and although it was a bummer when I was a teen, it's downright infuriating and embarassing now that I'm 23. I know there are parents out there who are stricter but at least in my general circle of friends, nobody's parents are as strict on them as my mother is on me..I live at home for a couple of reasons: I attend grad school within travelable distance from my house so we felt it was a waste of $ to buy an apt for me...secondly, I did not want my mom to be alone (my parents are divorced and my brother is 500 miles away @ college). Yet I just don't know why she is still so freakin strict on me..she scolds, complains and basically makes a huge deal when i go out on the weekends, thinking that once a week is too much (wtf?) and she doesnt approve of the things I do, saying I'm too old to always be hanging out @ bars and clubs and staying out late at night..I'm sorry..but logically speaking, if 21 is the legal age to do these things in the first place, and I'm 23 and to her I'm too old..that means the only time its appropriate to do these things is when I'm only 21? Anyway, I do other things to that do not involve drinking/partying (which I dont do often anyway) but she basically gets pissed off when I step foot out the house to something other than school/work/relative's house or being dragged around by her running errands. I can't do this, I'm going INSANE and can't talk any reason into her because she feels like I'm being "too rebellious" and "overally critical of her parenting skills". None of my friends understand and I'm tired of complaining to them and being such a drag. I try and study every night IN FRONT OF HER so she can see for herself that I'm not all about playtime..I wake up for school/work everyday and get there early/on time. I just don't know how to proove to her that I'm not a 13 year old anymore. what must I do? is this ever going to end? will I have to earn millions and be able to support her and myself fully/get married before she cuts my chains loose???

[incyphe]

Ever since I remember, my delegated all parental responsibility to my Mom. My mother used to have me on somewhat of a short leash until I was early teens, but after that, she cut me loose. Her favorite phrase was, "Remember, it's your life. Not mine". She never told me to do homework, schoolwork, or said anything about who I befriended. But she did try to encourage me to do certain things that would be beneficial. I rejected 30% of her suggestions, and she was cool about it.

I'm 30 now, and I think her hands-off approach worked out ok for me. Would I be a more successful, more well rounded person if she had be more hands-on? Maybe. But it could've been opposite, because I hate it when people tell me what to do.

[heyitzthatfc]

My mom has always been strict and although it was a bummer when I was a teen, it's downright infuriating and embarassing now that I'm 23. I know there are parents out there who are stricter but at least in my general circle of friends, nobody's parents are as strict on them as my mother is on me..I live at home for a couple of reasons: I attend grad school within travelable distance from my house so we felt it was a waste of $ to buy an apt for me...secondly, I did not want my mom to be alone (my parents are divorced and my brother is 500 miles away @ college). Yet I just don't know why she is still so freakin strict on me..she scolds, complains and basically makes a huge deal when i go out on the weekends, thinking that once a week is too much (wtf?) and she doesnt approve of the things I do, saying I'm too old to always be hanging out @ bars and clubs and staying out late at night..I'm sorry..but logically speaking, if 21 is the legal age to do these things in the first place, and I'm 23 and to her I'm too old..that means the only time its appropriate to do these things is when I'm only 21? Anyway, I do other things to that do not involve drinking/partying (which I dont do often anyway) but she basically gets pissed off when I step foot out the house to something other than school/work/relative's house or being dragged around by her running errands. I can't do this, I'm going INSANE and can't talk any reason into her because she feels like I'm being "too rebellious" and "overally critical of her parenting skills". None of my friends understand and I'm tired of complaining to them and being such a drag. I try and study every night IN FRONT OF HER so she can see for herself that I'm not all about playtime..I wake up for school/work everyday and get there early/on time. I just don't know how to proove to her that I'm not a 13 year old anymore. what must I do? is this ever going to end? will I have to earn millions and be able to support her and myself fully/get married before she cuts my chains loose???

lol.. Just go through with what you're doing, she'll understand it soon enough that you're on your own. I mean the way I see things is, if you don't listen to her and show her first hand that you're able to take care of yourself, then you'll be fine.

[PoppinBC]

Yes, my parents are still monstrously strict. They have me call on Friday and Saturday during the day if I go out and can't call at night... if I don't, they start calling at 9pm non-stop until I pick up. They also have this deal they won't "support" me if I don't keep a 3.7 GPA (in one of the most competitive engineering schools in the US...); I mean, I already have a full ride scholarship... but you badger me about my GPA? They also freak out about safety, me driving, and still expect daily calls on weekdays. I'm a 20 year old college student going to school 4 hours away, it's not that big of a deal, but they still have this constant over-protective presence.

Yeah, that's just a few of the things... still get a lot of heck from home over my life, hopefully it'll lighten up when I graduate.

[Pogichinoy]

My parents are less strict since I've graduated and am in the workforce, however, if I spend anything, they go ape mini cooper. Anything from exxy dinners, to buying KFC twice a week.

>_<

[CharlotteDarcy]

I can't smoke, drink, stay overnight, have sex, etc. until I'm out of the house.
I live here because my university is close to home too.

Just obey your parents so they can be happy. Once you graduate, all the freedom is yours.

[Yubumsuk]

As someone who's gone out with girls in their late 20s who still had curfews and, in one case, a mother who made her go to church whether she wanted to or not, you have my sympathies (oh, and care to guess what nationality those girls were? lol).

Gee, I guess in America you can't even shack up with a guy and then tell mom you spent the night with some friends in the jimjilbang, can you?

[princesspoppy]

My parents are very traditional. But they are not that strict on me. I don't go out every night. Only on weekends.

This is one rule I live by: What my parents don't know won't hurt them.

I know for sure, my parents have some idea of what I am doing. We just don't talk about it and they don't need to know. I'm damn sure they don't want to know about it either.

[donporkuloin]

I'm not Asian. I'm African-American. My parents suck. My dad..wow. Let's say parenting isn't for him. My mom's not a good parent, because she hasn't let go of her own childhood. How they are used to bother me, but I'm over it.

[tlydia]

Eh, decided to delete my post. It sounded more like a rant. Sorry

[erure]

I don't know about my parents. They're not strict but it's not like they don't care -- my mum and I are very close so she pretty much knows everything about my life. But they can definitely get overprotective... It's mostly that they worry about my future more so than I do -- all asian parents want their children to succeed, but at some point, it gets incredibly stressful and suffocating.

[xcherriex]

I used to have a curfew until I was about 22. My parents were actually pretty strict with me all throughout high school and even in college. But one day, I realized that I had no more curfews, no more phone calls asking who/what/when/where/why, no more nagging about sleeping late or sleeping in, no more arguing about never being home, etc. I thought I would never see the day where I would have my own freedom, but I did, eventually. I think it just takes time. But then again, all families are different. I have a friend who's turning 25 this year, but he's still on lockdown, which is sad to see.

[Midnight Dreams]

my parents are pretty strict ever since i can remember. as my sibling and i grew up, they got more stricter. they keep telling us when to take a bath, when to eat, what to eat, when to sleep, when we should study, what we should study, etc. if we don't do what they tell me to do, they will get mad and start yelling and will call us names. they keep on calling us stupid ever since we were a child. in college, they keep saying that "my sibling and i will not have a life. you don't know how to think. you don't know anything. you don't even study. you are so stupid. so forth." if my sibling or me does something they don't like, the both of us will get punish and yell at.
my parents live by this favorite phase, "i am right and you are wrong."

ex: my sibling was playing video games. my mom told my sibling to go and study. my sibling didn't do it. my mom started getting mad and turns off the tv and unplug the video game system and takes it away and they start calling us names.

[questions987]

I'm 26, so you can take my advice or throw it out the window if you want. It is your life and you are going to do what you want and your parents are goign to be your parents.

I don't live with my parents, however - I do live 2 houses away from my mom. I know, it's expensive and stupid for me to do that but the truth is - I can't live with my parents, they drive me nuts.

If you live at home - you have to follow their rules, no ifs, ands or buts about it - it's their rules. When you're independant and on your own, have fun and do as you like but while you're in their house - you have to be respectful because guess what? you're on their dime. If you're working and earning money and you go out on your own money - thats good but lets be truthful here, that money would be spent towards food and rent/bills if you weren't living on your own.

I knwo that being trapped sucks, and going out once a week isn't bad at all - but you have to be respectful of it. my mom was a little more calm of me going out if I told her where I was going, tell her when I'll be home, and she knows the friends that I'm going out with. She's met them, has had dinner with them, has talked to them - she wants to be sure I'm being smart and safe, its what every parent wants for their kids. If you rebel like a teenager you'll be treated like a teenager and as long as you live at home - you'll have to deal with it.

That being said, I moved out, I pay my own bills - I live by myself. My mom still tells me what to do. I don't have to do it, I don't have to tell her my every move, and I don't have to say a word to her if I choose not to because I dont live with her. I pay for her car, not the other way around. The truth is? I still do everythign I said above. I tell her where I'm going, I call her when I get home, I have dinner with her almost every night I'm not in school or have plans with a friend. She has met most, if not all of my friends. She still complains about my going out sometime but she has also learned to trust me and trust that I'm not being irresponsible. I'll even invite her to go out with my friends and me when it's just a dinner and movie night so that she can see what we're like when we're out. It's respectful.

I'm assuming you're asian and I'm assuming your first generation or half generation like me. It's a thin line we have walk and it's hard, - it's never easy, and it's never fair but we also have to consider that our parents raised us and they gave us a lot. Even at 23 and livign at home - they're still doing a lot for us. So you have to respect them, because they're doing it out of love.

If you dn't like it, and you can't appreciate and understand it - Move out, live on your own, and see how hard it is. someday you'll understand.

[watcher]

^ very nice post. i wholeheartedly agree

[wolfberry]

questions987 said all that has to be said ^__^

But I think your parents will still gossip and fume about things you do no matter what Even if you're out of the house! That's how it is with my older sister, who's 24...XD...I dunno how they find these things out, but my mom's got a whole NETWORK out there! Just...don't pay any mind to it

[Raito!]

my parents are still strict, im 22 and i still get curfews =.=;; cant afford to move out on the income i have now ....

[gisbiz]

my parent's said life was short, so they gave me a ton load of freedom.
sometimes i'd feel like they didn't care enough, and when they did...it was just scary.
so i made my own rules for me to follow. life is dandy!

[tasty]

no. my parents were never strict. i could do whatever i wanted. seriously. no rules, no 'grounding', no nothing. which kind of explains why i get easily pissed off. i'm so impatient. hahaha, it shows mostly in the workplace... every little thing a customer does pisses me off.

today at work...

man: you should become a school teacher
me: uh why?
man: ordering people around like that
me: *roll eyes*

idk, move out and say you'll come back when she stops smothering you.

[Tone]

i don't think my parents has ever been strict on me. its kinda sad, sometimes you want that strictness and discipline to let you know they care for you. lol