[deeman]

Usually when me and my GF have fights, they're all about little things... but today she got mad at me and we broke up in the spur of the moment.
I can't think straight so I'm awake at 4am trying to keep my mind away from it until i fall asleep on the laptop.. She calls me up crying telling me not to let her go.
I guess I never intended on literally breaking up because even when things like this happen - we both know we'd usually get back together because it's over no big deal..
But this time, I'm just sitting there listening to her and all that I can think of saying is 'Go to sleep' but I don't say anything. Reception cuts out and idk what the hell to say.

For replies you don't have to reply back to my situation. You can reply back to a situation where your GF or BF was crying to you - What would you do/say?

[the sweetest prince]

Tell her you need time to think about it and ignore her for a couple days. finally tell her if she ever does anything like that again its done. then you'll have control forever.

[PoooBear]

Tell her you need time to think about it and ignore her for a couple days. finally tell her if she ever does anything like that again its done. then you'll have control forever.

Relationships shouldn't be about control. It should be about working together

Seems like you two never wanted to end this.
So say you're sorry, talk it out, and see how it goes.
But don't go breaking up on spur of the moment like that too much, it really hurts the relationship, even if you two eventually get back together. After the break up words have been uttered, it's never fully the same again. At least, not in my experience.

If it's my fault, I usually just apologize, and if he can find it in his heart to forgive then great =)
But for some reason... I don't think your topic title matches your story O.o maybe that's just me o.o;;

[myxo]

Well if your gf was crying and all you can think about was wanting to tell her to "go to sleep," that says a lot, don't you think? Someone is distressed about somehing you directly or indirectly caused, and you seemingly don't really care. Usually when someone cries, the first thing most people do is comfort them. If you're at the stage where you're desensitized to her tears (and thus her feelings), that says a lot about the relationship.

The few times I made him cry, I comforted him until his tears became a weapon. I was desensitized to his tears and couldn't really give a crap. That was when I knew my feelings for him deteriorated.

[Inspector]

There are times it's all my fault, and my girlfriend is crying her eyes out, and I feel so bad and horrible about it, but I have no clue what to say, usually I just hug her, and if anything all I can say is sorry. I'm not the type that says lovey dovey stuff, so I try to show it more with actions.

Just admit your faults and say that you never meant to break up.

[watcher]

Well if your gf was crying and all you can think about was wanting to tell her to "go to sleep," that says a lot, don't you think? Someone is distressed about somehing you directly or indirectly caused, and you seemingly don't really care. Usually when someone cries, the first thing most people do is comfort them. If you're at the stage where you're desensitized to her tears (and thus her feelings), that says a lot about the relationship.

The few times I made him cry, I comforted him until his tears became a weapon. I was desensitized to his tears and couldn't really give a crap. That was when I knew my feelings for him deteriorated.

not necessarily. some guys just need time to organize their thoughts and clean up the mess up in their heads. maybe try to understand what it is that's causin them to get angry and how to resolve the issue.

granted, all the girl wants is assurance. a simple 'im sorry. lets try to work things out tomorrow. go to sleep honey' could do the trick. but that's a matter of knowing better vs not caring at all. it's a world of difference, and as much as guys should understand a girls emotional needs, girls should also be understanding of how guys operate. otherwise, they'll jump to conclusions and make the mess bigger than it really is.

[onhotwires]

Like most other people said, it doesn't even seem like you were sure about how you felt, and why you felt it.

Just...whatever you do... don't ignore her... don't avoid her... that's just torturous. If you need time to think things through, tell her that you do, then do it, and then talk to her when everything's sorted out in your head. I can't think of anything worse than no response, b/c her imagination will get the best of her.

*sigh* This whole thread sounds all too familiar. '_'

[deeman]

not necessarily. some guys just need time to organize their thoughts and clean up the mess up in their heads. maybe try to understand what it is that's causin them to get angry and how to resolve the issue.

granted, all the girl wants is assurance. a simple 'im sorry. lets try to work things out tomorrow. go to sleep honey' could do the trick. but that's a matter of knowing better vs not caring at all. it's a world of difference, and as much as guys should understand a girls emotional needs, girls should also be understanding of how guys operate. otherwise, they'll jump to conclusions and make the mess bigger than it really is.

Yeah.. heaps of people tend to advise to say sorry..
I've said that.. no matter what faults lie in me she still always wants to be with me (not that that's a bad thing)..

The reason why I tell her to go to sleep is that right now year 12 is really important to her and she doesnt need to stay up all night thinking about me.. My GF is the type of girl who thinks about things.. then thinks deeper and deeper.. leading into different conclusions and is often insecure about me and a female work mate of mine who happens to kinda be a female best friend..

Like most other people said, it doesn't even seem like you were sure about how you felt, and why you felt it.

Just...whatever you do... don't ignore her... don't avoid her... that's just torturous. If you need time to think things through, tell her that you do, then do it, and then talk to her when everything's sorted out in your head. I can't think of anything worse than no response, b/c her imagination will get the best of her.

I know what I feel.. the reason she feels like this is because of me.. and sometimes I think to myself 'why does she still hang onto me if i'm such a deadweight?' << That's the reason I let her think that I had the breaking up idea on my mind.


I'm not sure if I'm passing the message along but I do know how much she cares for me and that she doesn't want me to be taken away by some other girl and I basically need her to keep myself mentally-sane which is why I understand her POV .. So I left ALL other girl-friends, all i have now is basically work-friends that I like to go out with.. and she still worries too much - I'm just scared that her insecurities will be the undoing of her ><"

[watcher]

Yeah.. heaps of people tend to advise to say sorry..
I've said that.. no matter what faults lie in me she still always wants to be with me (not that that's a bad thing)..

The reason why I tell her to go to sleep is that right now year 12 is really important to her and she doesnt need to stay up all night thinking about me.. My GF is the type of girl who thinks about things.. then thinks deeper and deeper.. leading into different conclusions and is often insecure about me and a female work mate of mine who happens to kinda be a female best friend..

it's not the sorry part that she wants to hear. you can say sorry and walk away too. she wants to hear that you want to be with her too and you plan on staying together. make her confident that despite your issues, you'll find a way to work it out and you'll find your happiness again. be the dependable man that every girl probably wants even if they don't admit to it. if you can give up about 5~10 minutes focused on getting this through to her, you have an entire night to sleep or study or do whatever you want.