[LightsPower]

I have a problem...I really like just being by myself. I like going to the mall, and going out to lunch by myself. However, when I'm alone, I crave for close friends who I can hang out with. However, once I gain a close friend, I feel suffocated by their friendship. I feel like I'm spending too much time with them and I just need to GET AWAY. It's not that I don't like them...I just can't stand being around other people for extended periods of time. However, that's the problem. If I want a close friend, s/he will want to spend a lot of time with me..and I don't like it.

Another problem is that if I like a guy, but there are just a few things that I don't like about him, I stop liking him completely. I guess you could say my standards are really high...but I just don't want to settle. I don't need someone "perfect," just someone whose flaws I can accept and that I'm fine with.

*sigh* I don't know what to do.

[spiral_flare]

Hey there.

I think that if you like it then it shouldn't really be a problem. It's just the person you are.

And I'm similar to you in many ways. I know how it feels. Like, most of the time you'd prefer to be
alone but you feel like you're missing out on something and when you're finally with someone, it
doesn't seem like that big of a deal so you want to be alone again.

We just don't like people that much.

[Tuxedomask]

You don't have a problem at all. =)

You like to have your personal time and space and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you're not comfortable hanging out with the friend's you have for long periods of time then maybe he or she isn't what you're looking for in a friend.

Don't blame yourself for what you prefer. Although you could be a little more open but take it slow.

[ShadowMax76]

maybe you like being alone, but you don't like being seen as a person who is alone.
or perhaps you really are like as you said_ sensitive to the smallest need of another, when fulfilled, already too full.

_ i sorta get how that is. i remember going to the movies with a girl. she was rather...intimate.
now, i've always been a guy that craves for hugs. rofl.

but i was pretty happy for a month w/o affection after that date .

_ o-0' but to be sick of it.. lol. i think i know that one as well.
You want something from them.. but when you get something from them, it's not what you want. So you turn away.

that sound about right?

[LightsPower]

I'm so glad there are people who know how I feel. You guys are all right on. I guess the problem is that, I'm very intrapersonal, but I also want close friends...but if I have close friends, they want to see me often, which annoys me because I like being alone.

spiral_flare: Yeah exactly, I feel like I'm missing out on the fun that everyone else is having, but then I realize I'm really not. xD

Tuxedo: I guess...I think I should accept other people's flaws, but I don't know if they're right for me or if I'm just trying to accept someone who I don't like..

Shadow: I don't mind if other people think I'm a loner. And yeah, I want something from them but it's not how it played out in my mind, so I want to turn away.

You guys are so helpful..

[love*beat]

LOL you're just like me, haha.

For me it's like an ongoing battle between being independent and having close friends.

But personally I think it's just all in your head you know?

There's nothing wrong with craving some "alone time".

As selfish as it may be, you have to think about yourself first.
If you don't feel comfortable being with your friends all the time, you just have to tell them that.

I personally get bored of routine conversations and pretty much routine everything that I have to deal with people I see all the time.
So whenever I get the chance, I try to gain my sanity (lol) by getting away from it all before I go back into that cycle.

[donporkuloin]

For the friend thing. Go see a psych, get him/her to prescribe you some anti-depressants, and call it a day. For the guy thing. Your standards. Let me tell you what's going to happen. You're going to like guy because you're going to think he fits your image of being perfect. He's going to hurt you, and then you're going to learn to appreciate a good dude when he comes your way. There.. problem solved.

[Aivy]

Dah! I'm like that also haha. I have maybe, one close friend, and we've never been to each others houses or hung out outside of school. She's just my best friend.. in school, we always only hang out at school, no where else, not even a phone call to each others house. I like being by myself and doing things alone like shopping etcetc. But sometimes when I see other people having so much fun with their best friends like shopping and hanging out, it makes me feel jealous I can't hang out with my friends and have that much fun. Same thing with boys, I see one bad thing about them, don't like them anymore... I guess we're people who like being alone and having our own thoughts. My solution a long time ago was trying to have a best friend that was like me, so we would have so much in common, but that didn't really work.

[kimchee1]

Hey there.

I think that if you like it then it shouldn't really be a problem. It's just the person you are.

And I'm similar to you in many ways. I know how it feels. Like, most of the time you'd prefer to be
alone but you feel like you're missing out on something and when you're finally with someone, it
doesn't seem like that big of a deal so you want to be alone again.

We just don't like people that much.

lol I agree. I've been feeling this way a lot of times.

[destinedisaster00]

^donporkuloin- chugging anti-depressants isn't the answer to every problem -___-''


haha, I know how you feel.
I just got into a fight with my best friend
(long story short) because she called me up and asked me if i wanted to hang out
with her and this other guy and i told her "I don't feel like it".


people don't really understand how I feel
and end up labeling me as "unreliable"
and "not there when needed" because of this..
IT'S FRUSTRATING T_T

[cherri82crystal]

haha you're kinda like me...at least for the liking a guy part. once i find a couple of things i don't like about the guy, i can completely lose the like o-o
as for the friends, its good to keep a good balance of both =)

[l3lo]

omg i feel exactly the same way! i thought i was the weirdest hermit on earth!
i like hanging with my friends but some days i like being with just "me". no harm in that right?
sometimes my friends and family even thinks i'm weird considering the way i act. i thought maybe
its just me being a girl and is it because i'm pms'ing? but i came to terms with the fact that
i just don't like being with others alot. i'm very sociable when i "choose" to be. and can to talk to
people like nothing but seriously i'm not a very social person. i confess it too i hate people lol.
and about the "boyfriend" issue? yeah, i get that too. i can't stand being with a guy in serious
relationship. i feel like i'm being suffocated and it'll probably be like only 3 months? even less.
i know i'm meant to be alone .

[mrskimjinho]

Ahhh, I can totally relate to you. My mom used to think that there was something seriously wrong with me because I didn't hang out with friends a lot (she thought I didn't have ANY friends and that I was some anti-social weirdo). I had a handful of really close friends but I always preferred chilling by myself -- none of the "what do you want to do/where should we go/what should we eat" annoyances.. I do what I want, when I want, how I want. Nowadays I usually just like hanging out with my best friend. We love each other's company, but we also like our space so it all works out.

There's nothing wrong with being introverted. It's not like you're huddled in a corner of a room muttering and cutting yourself because you don't like others' company.

[1oo4*]

I am the same. I get bored easily but at times I want to see my close friends. And for the standards thing, I totally agree, you shouldn't have to settle

Thank goodness my close friends are the same as me; we can go on weeks not seeing each other without being afraid we would drift apart. And when we do meet up, awesome times.

So I guess what I'm saying is...it's ok! Find friends that are similar to you in the sense that they understand that you need your personal time. Distance can make some relationships even more wonderful

[maly&ahpulee]

you're like me... the complete double, i swear.

i'm a very free-spirited person and i don't like to feel tied down. i have a very spontaneous personality and tend to act on impulse. i have a lot of friends but i seem to do a lot of things by myself, too. i think it's because i was brought up to be very independent... perhaps.. but yeah. don't let anyone ever tell you that you're weird. they're just jealous. lol.., okay.. maybe, maybe not, but we're all different. embrace your true nature. =)

[natsurei]

I'll be like everyone else and say..You're like me too!
Haha. Although, for me, I feel as if, if I'm so close to them, I'm suffocating them with my friendship. I have this paranoia that, they don't really like me and might be bored, so I want to rather be alone.
Same with the boyfriend thing. But I found someone who I accept <3. Haha. And it took me..about 8 months. HAHAHA.

I dunno, for me, I just...take it slowly? (Like I said, I was lucky that a guy waited for me for 8 months. That's how slow I went).
I go out and show myself once in a while. But I know it's awkward.
But then again, I think it has to do with..the friends, 'cause some of them are complete drama queens who will hate you for "neglecting" them. LOL.
But there are some who understand how I feel, and respect my choices. LOL.

You just have to find friends that are ohkay with yourself. And that, I found as well.

[princesspoppy]

I love being around my friends. We always have a great time. We don't hang out everyday, but when we do, I wish we could.

Have you ever thought that maybe you are afraid of having a close friend? Because you said that when you and a friend get close, you want out. Is it because you don't like their company? Because you don't need to hang out with anybody 24/7, you can always say no. I can understand if you want quality "me-time," but when you stop being a person's friend, I'd be worried.

Having a close friend doesn't mean you have to hang out everyday, or do things together. If you want someone to hang out with everyday, get a dog.

[--hearts.]

I'm sort of like that and the only thing I can say about is is that deep down...it's probably a commitment issue. Afraid of being hurt by other people so you rather defend yourself and hurt them first or get away first. That kind of thing if it makes any sense. There's a lot more layers on top of that of course, like some people are just really annoying and you probably do just like doing things alone and etc. but the defensive thing is probably there somewhere too.

[.:precious:.]

OMG im just like that, I like being alone as well...& I dont really have any close friends that I cant trust...But I do have my bf and im super close with him... So its all good.

I dunno what you could do I mean if you dont mind it then theres no problem and sometimes its better that way then you dont have to deal with all the drama of people.

[LightsPower]

Yeah, I guess I want the best of both worlds. Lots of time to be alone and chill by myself, but also having a few close friends there to talk to, and who I can just trust. I know it's really selfish, but I like being independent and doing things by myself, but I don't want to be alone, so I guess I want to know I have that kind of 'best friend' connection with a person. maly, yeah, that's why I don't think I'm mature enough for a bf right now ^^; I wanna be single and free!

--hearts, I guess that's also a factor. I feel like when I in the progress of becoming close with someone, they constantly take advantage of me. They're always asking for favors, and if I'm really nice to them, they start expecting it from me, and I end up getting sick of it and start distancing myself.