[parkie871]

I'm thinking of going on a diet cuz.....i need to. My lower body is.......big.
height: 5'7 (169.7cm)
weight-120-122
waist- 26.5-27.5
thighs- 17in, has dimples when i sit

The thing is, i just recovered from an eating disorder. I started a therapy in Korea (i'm in Canada now) around June which ended in August (i went in every week). I never actually finished the program but did eat three square meals a day (maybe not enough calories, but i ate everything that my mama made me).

Is there anyway i can diet without going back to the ED?

[solitaryraven]

the answer is basic: eat healthily (three meals a day) and exercise. everyone knows this is the key to being healthy. if you're afraid that doing this will lose you no weight, eating less in not the answer. if you already eat your three meals a day, and they are lean and healthy, then you have to increase your exercise intensity. do lots of cardio exercise only.

this is what most people - expert and lay - would recommend you do. it's not easy making this routine, but if you want to lose weight without getting back into your ED, you have to put in the hard yards.

[lil_miss_kawaii]

I agree with the aove poster

ur healthy now
three meals a day is standard for a healthy diet - and if ur recvering from a ED then ur gonna see urself as bigger

If you are scared about gaining more - exercise - dont do it tooo intense - but do like 3-4 times a week - maybe 1-2hrs each time
shud be fine and u can maintain weight whilst getting rid of the dimples

[Makaveli]

I would say since you haven't really fully recovered from your ED, to keep the quantity
up but just try to eat a little healthier, instead of lets say fried chicken, you'd go for the grilled.
Just small things like that make big differences. Also pick up some light exercise. If you feel you're
getting too extreme again just kill the dieting, it's better to look slightly bigger than to die a pile
of skin and bones yea?

PS. Just as a safeguard, I would tell your mother to supervise your portions so that you don't
go below what you should. 5'7 120 is below normal anyways, so I can't imagine you needing to lose
anymore weight. Keep in mind that you cant' spot reduce.

[parkie871]

To the above poster, my mama is not here. She is in Korea. I live alone with roommates but we're not really friends and don't talk a lot. its kinda hard cuz they're chinese and im korean.

[jollyrancher]

eat healthy and then exercise.
and don't throw up or starve yourself.
there you go.

[iridescent]

eat healthy and then exercise.
and don't throw up or starve yourself.
there you go.

Would there really be clinics for eating disorders if it was that simple? Do you think people who die starving and the people who tried to save them are all idiots, or...?

To OP, instead of focusing on what you can't eat, focus on what you should eat. I've gone on harsh diets before and none of that lasts for long. I've looked better since learning what to eat instead of what not to eat -- if you eat food that both you and your body can enjoy and benefit from, you'll naturally become less likely to eat things that you don't really need. In other words, you won't have to agonize over one piece of cake at someone's birthday party, because you know you won't really have cravings later if your body is getting what it needs. (In other words, indulge in healthy food but don't hate yourself over anything "bad.")

Are you in a dorm or are you having to buy your own food?

If you keep yourself active and occupied, I don't think jogging or doing crazy workouts are at all necessary. I walk a lot and I find that keeps me in decent shape. By all means exercise if you want to, but not if it's going to torment you and ruin the other parts of your life. You don't need to be in constant agony to have a nice body.

Find other ways to feel pretty... slowly add money to a jar and treat yourself to some nice clothes once in a while (and not necessarily a pair of tight jeans to gradually fit into, either -- something you can feel good in now), and spend time with friends who you get along really happily with. Take care of yourself and your body will be good to you, too. :-) Good luck!

[parkie871]

^to the above poster, thank you for ur advice! That is what i'm trying to do, except its not easy. I'm slightly obsessive-compulsive, and sometimes i feel that i'm developing orthorexia (fear of unhealthy foods). Like, i buy organic stuff and i'm like "Is it really really 100% organic??? What if its not!!!" and "Have i washed off the pesticides from these veggies/fruit/rice enough?" (after soaking them+putting them in running water for 20mins). I just have trouble with finding balance. i think i may have some ocd tendencies idk. I also found myself of looking at pics of celebrities again...

[iridescent]

Ah... That must be really tough. I'm mildly OCD (as in not the actual disorder but comparable tendencies) but I haven't had anything to that extent before. Though I've questioned nutritional labels before, so I can kinda relate? Can you afford to talk to a nutritionist? If you're on a college campus, I think they have free appointments. And if not... hmm. I'm trying to think back on old mind frames because I used to have that a lot too (looking at celebs and comparing BMIs). I'm not going to pry or anything, but what's an average day like for you? This is going to sound so hokey/corny, but something I found helpful was doing things like volunteer service because that helped to take my mind off of nagging things while making good use of my time. I know that's easier said than done when you're not feeling great about yourself, though. (But really, I'm not sure how it works for other people, but I tend to feel better about myself when I'm interacting with other people than when I'm sitting around alone.)

Do you usually eat by yourself? If you ate with other people, could that help, or do you have anxiety with eating in front of people at all? Do you have anyone you could talk to about orthorexia specifically?

This probably sounds prying too... do you enjoy getting ready in the morning or is it stressful? Is putting an outfit together fun, or something that makes you feel more flawed? When I have something I want to wear, I don't usually feel like I need to worry as much about how I'll look in it. Also, I know it doesn't sound like something like this could last, but even changing up your hair style can help you feel a bit better about the way you look.

No matter what though, and regardless of whether my own posts help, know that you aren't alone. Even if you can only find support for this on soompi for now, there are lots and lots of people here who might not understand your exact situation but will still want to understand and help. And these struggles aren't things you can just flick over with one finger -- they wouldn't be struggles then, right? -- but they can only crush you as much as you'll let them. I know that thoughts like these don't make things any easier, but basically it's best to try to keep your chin up so that you can notice when things are beginning to get better.

[rachilde]

Well I don't think we can possibly tell you things to do and you would evade falling back into having an eating disorder--it just doesn't work that way. I'm also not saying that falling into an eating disorder is unavoidable. I am, however, saying that eating disorders are not just a sum of what you eat. Eating disorders frequently don't have too much to do with eating when you get to the heart of it--it mostly has to do with control and superiority. You can eat three meals a day, but if you're still thinking like you have an eating disorder than you still have an eating disorder regardless of what you eat. Having a lot of previously anorexic friends, they've always said to me, "If anorexia could be cured by eating hamburgers, there'd be no problem at all!"

Simply speaking, there's absolutely no advice I can give you about external actions in relation to eating disorders; because an eating disorder isn't just an external action--it's an internal pattern of thinking that leads to behaviors. I can tell you to eat three meals a day and then exercise, but if you're doing that while loathing the food as you eat it, weighing yourself compulsively everyday, refusing the leave your room because you're ashamed of how you look, etc. I would say that you still have the disorder. This is something you should be talking over with a psychologist--not soompi forum members.

[iridescent]

^ Not everyone can afford to see a psychologist? I think she knows she isn't going to find the solution here. It's about finding support, and I think communities like soompi exist thrive because it isn't always easy to reach out to people who already know you for the kind of support you need.

I had an eating disorder and I know I'm not the norm, but talking it to death with a specialist never did anything for me. I'm not saying that speaking to a professional is pointless by any means... just that it's not that simple, or at least not for everyone. And I agree that nothing any one person says is going to flip the eating disorder switch in anyone else's head, but trying to shine a light on the path that led out of darkness for one person might at least help another person seek a path out of her own.

I'm not saying you're wrong at all -- I'm only bringing my own point because I agree but don't think that's the whole of it.

[parkie871]

To the posts above:
I have had therapy and still somewhat receive counseling. I know that i have other problems and that it's not just eating. I'm not gonna list them here. What i do know is that i do have a bit of ocd tendencies (which is common with ED) and that i want to be careful so that my dieting doesn't result in a relapse. Soompi is huge so i want to get advice from people who have had ED and recovered from it on how i can diet without a relapse.

[mikanpuriname]

Ask yourself this: Why do you think you need to be on a "DIET?" as in restricting your food intake and etc?

Your height and weight average gives you a BMI of around 19, which is on the LOW side of normal already.

In your original post, you mentioned that you are unhappy with your lower body, then I suggest that instead of dieting and restricting your calories (which won't really help you slim down your lower body) you should look into body-toning exercises ie. Pilates, Yoga, etc.

Instead of trying to starve your body into skinny, you need another approach? What you can do to make your body one that won't get FAT even if you eat normally? The answer is eat a lot of fiber, yogurts with good bacterial cultures that will help your digestive system, and having a set eating schedule. I try to eat a good breakfast, a filling lunch, and a smaller dinner. I also try to eat my dinner between 6-7. It's not about what you CAN'T eat, it's about what you SHOULD eat.

I know this works because it's worked for me, and my brother, who were both "fat kids," at some point in our lives. Because I follow these basic rules: getting enough fiber everday, and casual exercise (for me, I walk my dog... it's not like I'm sweating in the gym for hours on end.) I've been able to maintain an ideal weight for quite a while. I feel like my body can metabolize regularly and I'm not stressed all the time. I eat chocolate when I want to, and I'm able to enjoy the foods that I like. I don't gain weight suddenly, even when I went to Asia recently (which we all know usually leads to weight gain because of the good eats over there.)

[iridescent]

^ And protein > carbs, though I'm sure you know that already

I feel like I've run out of things to say... to have a clearer picture would help, but I know it isn't exactly easy to discuss things like this, even (if not more) on a forum full of people you don't know. But yes, like mikanpuriname said, this shouldn't be about dieting but about finding a way to be healthy. Focus on fiber, protein, veggies, fruits, complex carbs, and fats that are good for you -- while not necessarily cutting out simple carby stuff that isn't as healthy but is still nice to have sometimes. Don't merely stock up on low-calorie "diet food" or "safe food" because it'll never be enough. Also try to get enough sleep? And drink lots of water...

Things like this really are more emotional/psychological than they are about food alone, but relieving food related anxiety can make it easier to take on everything else. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, and focus on one meal at a time. It might help to think of how starving yourself will only make your metabolism slow down, and how you're going to find it that much harder not to reach for something that's going to make you feel like crap later if you don't give your body what it needs now. Your body IS actually on your side, whether it feels like it or not -- if you don't eat enough, the only reason it makes you eat junk food later is because it's trying not to die. Also, I know it's hard not to want to be stick thin for vanity's sake, but if you're sick and starving, it's going to make you look terrible. I know it might feel like you'd rather look terrible and skinny than healthy and bigger (which, like others have said, you are not at ALL), but there are ways to be thin without ruining yourself. (And I do get that an eating disorder wouldn't allow you to ever feel "thin enough," but I'm saying that in general.) Right now, it might feel like ruining yourself is the only good option, but for the sake of your younger self, your older self, and the people who love you and want you to be healthy enough to be happy, I hope you'll at least try to treat yourself right -- and it does look like you are, and you should be proud of that.

Not really sure anything I'm saying is helping, but if you ever want to just talk to someone, I have ears :-) please take care!


(v aww I really appreciate that, but these are just things I think I eventually pulled from what was being given to me, so I guess it's the world that was eventually an angel, if the world can be personified like that. If I can hand that to you in even a tiny way, I'm really grateful for it but only because I really do hope you'll find your way through this. And my ears will be around as long as I will so I hope you know I meant what I said!)

[parkie871]

iridescent, ur an angel!! ^^