[Terazu]

Long story short, I recently lost someone very very close to me. He passed away thursday night. I found out friday night.

I had a breakdown but after that, I was sorta..fine?

but everyone knows about DABDA right? Psychology thingy? Since its my first time actually losing someone close to ME, I thought that everyone would slowly go through each stage until they finally hit acceptance.

Me, Im apparently had a mixture of D and B or A and D or more letters at once, and then it just started all over again.

And then i'd be hit with a bit of random happiness. Making stupid jokes and trying to get my mom x dad x bros, etc to smile again for some strange reason before DABDA starts again. Its like im going through hot flashes way before my time.

o.o;; Does this make sense? I know im sad, but at the same time, it doesnt really..feel that way?


And please, please, please, do not post the words 'Im sorry" on here. T_T; I hate those words the most.

[Christie]

Every person reactions different to different situations. I quess you're sort of confused as to why you are not feeling down al the time?
It's okay to have moodswings. When my grandmother passed away.. I cried non-stop for one week. After I finally accepted her moving on to a better place. I was actually happy for her..

Hope you'll be fine =)

[chilovesjj]

I know how you feel about the 'I'm sorry' thing. It's the thing that most people say I guess. But it doesn't help -.-

Not quite the same situation but I lost my baby in January ):
And at first I was surprised how well I seemed to be coping, everyone commented on how strong I was.
But at that time, I felt like a different person, like it was someone else laughing and smiling. Even my personality was different.

After about a month, I started snapping at everyone around me for no reason and couldn't understand it.
Then I realized I never really talked about it, I was suppressing my feelings of sadness because for some reason,
I felt like I was just weak and pathetic for being sad now, because everyone thought I should already be over it T__T"

Different people react differently to loss. So long as you have someone/some people to talk to if you need to,
and you express your grief in some way at the times you feel you need to do that, you should be ok.
If you go through all the stages, some might be shorter or longer than others. It varies a lot. Not all people go through all stages either, I think?
There is no right or wrong time for when to 'feel better', so don't worry if you seem to be coping better (or worse) than others.

My fiancé finds that helping other people to feel better, makes him feel better too, when something bad happens.
So I think that's sorta like you? Maybe the fact that you're trying to help everyone else be strong, actually helps you in a way.

[quyennypoo]

I really know how your feel...some people say those words to make you feel better but i REALLY know how you feel...
3 years ago i lost 2 uncles who were so close to my family... the following year my grandma who i love like my mother had a stroke and died on that christmas and the following year mum also had a stroke although thankgod she is recovering and my dog (my precious baby) of 14 years passed away the end of last year...

all these deaths were like some sort curse..i felt that my world was collapsing and there was a point where i felt like giving up...all the people i loved were going and i hated and blamed God. He had taken so many people away from me and there were people who are taking drugs who are still alive and here was my happy healthy family falling apart. Like fate was playing some sort of joke on us...i resented my faith so much

BUT after a very very long time i was forced to except the deaths...because before then i was expecting my nan to call my name and hug me and i was expecting to see my uncles and family gatherings and when i didnt see them anymore it hit me harder than i expected!
i cried...i cried to the point where my tears didn't fall and all i had was a lump in my throat and a heavy heart. But with time it does get easier, you learn to cope. I now never take my family for granted, ever!

xoxoxo

[Terazu]

Christie - Yup, very confused. I think since typically im not a crying type of person, that short burst I had in the beginning (which felt like an eternity) wont be happening again, especially since I typically internalize things.
I figure i'll get to 'happy for him' eventually..just..not now.
Thanks for the wishes!
chilovesjj - lol. No, it doesnt. Not at all.
Im snapping now. Even thursday night when he actually passed away, i was wondering why I was being so snappy to everyone. Im still a bit snappish now, but im trying to rein it in.
And thank you, for telling me to open up to someone about it. The only thing is, the perfect people to talk to it about are so far away from me (separation by colleges. sucks.)
And lol, yup, I am rather similar to your fiance, you're reading me like a book. :] Thanks for the advice!!
quyennypoo - The person I lost was my uncle, who was father to me in so many ways. Its hard just knowing that he wont be there to call me by my petname(s) anymore.
And I guess it helps that my uncle was a religious person, so turning my back on the faith feels like i'd be turning my back on him in a way, and I dont think I could ever do that.
I guess im out of tears to cry, but Ill be strong for my fam and try and keep things together. Thanks for telling me what you had to go through, its so similar to mine in a way.


For those that dont understand about the "im sorry" thing.

I can accept someone telling me "my condolences" = means sorta like, my sympathies with a compassionate twist.
"im sorry" is only said when someone made a mistake.
and it feels like its a joke. when someone else says it, whats there to be sorry for?
it can just be taken in so many different negative ways >.< shiro.

[RedSunsFC]

Delete.

[Hidd3nBeauty]

i know how you are feeling, and exactly what you are going through...
one of my closest friends died yesterday morning...
i haven't cried yet... i'm trying to make everyone else happy,
and be their support, maybe i should talk to someone..

And please, please, please, do not post the words 'Im sorry" on here. T_T; I hate those words the most.

i hate those words the most right now aswell.... just don't say "i'm sorry"

[ajlee613]

i was like that for the first few times, i didnt really care when ppl around me died, later my gf died and it really hit me, and it really came to my mind the significance of life and another's life within my life.

the person may have been close to u and ur family techniquly but did u really laugh with the person? have fun till u passed out? acted like idiots infront of the world and didnt care? did u make countless memories and build ur day on having them around?

loosing someone like that, that is wat it took for me to finally feel real deep human remorse and sadness.


then it happend again and again and again and u grow harder, aka ur heart breaks apart till u learn not to react so much, u still care, but u just move on, cuz u kno that is the only thing that you can do.