[IckyVicky<3dongbang]

Yes i doooo want to rant. aiiiigooo.
i feel soooooo stresssed and flustered w/ the new school year coming up.
OMGOSHHHH.
I'm not even moved to campus and i already have to go into work. My work schedule is crap and i live on the opposite side of campus from where i work. I applied to new jobs but no replies yet. School is in like 4 days and i feel so unprepared because my move in date for my apt is the day before school.
I'm just really stressed about that. and probably because i very much dislike the place i work at. aiiiiiiigooooo. i'm such a poor college student.

[lillixe]

argh I hate the fact that its ALWAYS awkward when i go hang out with just one person >_> i rather go out in a group IT'S NOT AS IF I'M SUPER WITTY OR SOMETHING TO MAINTAIN A WHOLE CONVERSATION D: , so i avoided the situation and it just made it way worse .

>_> i should burn in hell really. Now my friend probably thinks i hate her when i just hate being my akward self >_>_

[playedescapade]

I hate it when my backward-assed ego gets in the way of everything, which is almost all the time.God, why can't I allow myself to relax?

[mextaus.]

i can't believe i am so affected by this! WHY? i wanna fish her eyeballs out with chopsticks ><
who does she think she is? why am i so goddamn naive? why didn't i see this coming? can i really be perfect?
i seriously have never hated myself more for not listening to what im told, i deserve this.
but. i just thought. well, oh well. i don't need anyone but myself right now.
hopefully things will get better when school starts. just a few days, i'll have another chance.


but why am i so hurt? i need to get this out of my system somehow.

GAAAAHHHHH. me to me: GET OVER IT !

[lilaznanime]

went to get my schedule today and stuff at school.
i'm pissed that i have to jump from far distances.
semester 1: 3rd floor to gym to lunch to 3rd floor
semester 2: 3rd floor to lunch to gym to 3rd floor
according to my bro, turns out that i got his math teacher that he hates cause she sucks at teaching/doesn't teach.
then i find out i got the harder, scarier, and weirder teacher for english.
turns out i'm taking honors biology, not regular biology. and i have no feedback on this cause it didn't exist before.
i had to wake up at 7:30 and left school at 11:15.
the lines for everything (student store, lockers, asking about schedules in counselors office...) were long.
i waited a long time with my friend in the counselors office.
i didn't get a locker =( all gone.
BUT luckily my friend's sister is gonna share with a friend and gave her locker to my friend so i have someone to share a locker with.
but unfourtunately it's the most bottom locker (1 column of lockers=3 lockers stacked) and is stuck closing and opening.
i carried 4 books throuughout the day starting around 8:25. the math book was fudging huge! X__X
i'm alone (so far) for 3 classes.
the books hurt my arms and the corners made a red mark on my arm from stabbing me.
i have to buy the agenda from the freshman studies teacher.
i bought a lock but couldn't get a locker.
i still need to finish my summer english homework.
i still need to go shopping for school stuff.
some idiot drew a line with pen on the back of my shirt. i LOVED this shirt!
i'm exhausted from carrying books all day waiting in lines.
the picture they took for the id was probably horrible. i think i blinked! DX
the was burning and i felt like melting.
i have a concert for orchestra in early october.not much time to practice.
i have chair try outs the week after school starts. i hate playing when people stare and look at you! and my horrible playing is embarrassing.
my hands feel like they're gonna fall off from carrying all those books around the school.

[loveydovey]

i cannot believe i failed that quiz. i know i did bad but THIS bad? wow how am i ever going to raise my grade when quizzes are 20% of my grade! AHH i have never failed this bad before.

[innocia]

We're always the ones giving in. Can't you just give in for one time? Or is it too much to ask of you?

Oh wait. It is too much to ask of you. I forgot your appointments are always more important than ours. You definitely cannot set aside just a few hours to celebrate their birthday. Why am I not surprised?

I should set aside a message template specially for you to reply you whenever I mass message everyone asking if they're free. It reads, "You can't make it? Too bad then."

[suppaazn]

"Have you gained weight?"
I lost freakin 10 pounds... =_____-=
Blow to my self-esteem.

[smileyface(:]

never EVERR trusting my stupid brother. he's older yet he doesnt act like it ugh. Why the heck did you NOT confirm the headlight!? I spent $50 on a headlight that i dont freakin need. GOD. what the heck are YOU going to do now!?

[xNAT]

why? i stand by you in everything. yet you push me away. you insult me. you torture me. you hurt me in every single way. why am i even your friend still? i dont get it. one minute youre saying that im a stupid idiot and that you hated me. and the next you say that you love me.

i dont get why ive stuck by this for this long. i dont get it at all. you think im happy all the time. that i dont care if you hurt me in such a way. well i DO.

what am i to you?! just a useless ragdoll that you throw around when youre annoyed?!

you say such harsh words to me. but what can i do? you wont let me say anything. i cant believe i let myself grow into this.

[loveme.]

I'm stupid, I'm immature, I'm irrational. My parents, my friends, whoever is in my life deserve more than me.
I don't know why I'm here. Or why I'm still here.
The things I've tried don't work. I've prayed even though I don't believe in God, just in case maybe He is there and maybe He'll listen to me.
I don't know why I'm like this. I want to be better, but I'm just not.

Also, my lips are really dry. Wah!

[ohmy_erick]

^^^^ made me tear up =/
;;;;;;;;;
I GAINED WEIGHT... - _ -
and i hate hate hate hate hate my senior year schedule i pray to God that those morons at my school change it and fix it.

[78eight]

GAHH~ I wanna lose some weight, but I'm really hungry right now because I ate dinner way to early.
I don't wanna wash the dishes urghh kjflksjfk HATE HATE washing the dishes.

Also I have a headache for some odd reason, so I'm even more annoyed. aihgo

[viviians]

its cold & im frkn boreddddddd

[conscience]

Grass is always greener on the other side. This is true for my mother. Not me. I'm not jealous or anything but I'm so sick that she's comparing me, constantly over the years (literally, YEARS) to my classmate. She's not even my friend, she's just an acquaintance. I sound really mean but I don't even know what to talk about with her on the bus. I don't even want to think about it. And I've this thing about over-courteous people. They make me nauseous 'cause I think they're so hypocritical. I know she's polite and all 'cause it's her personality, but honestly, there are some people we can't click with in life. C'mon this is reality in its rawest state! What do you want me to do? Act like we've got tonnes of common interests? Pretend like I really like her a lot? Not that I dislike her, but we just can't click, OKAY?

Besides, why is she comparing me to her? No, she's comparing her to me. Like, I'm the worse off one, who is lazy and rude. A good-for-nothing. Seriously, I won't mind if you want to be her mother. I don't even give a damn, 'cause this is so lame. I mean, it's been YEARS and all this while, she's just the 'better' one. Hello, not like her grades are better than mine. We probably have similar grades anyway. She's so hardcore in studying and I'm not. So? What difference does it make? The result? The process? The beginning? What and where? I really don't get it. Why does she keep thinking that I'm the slacker who can't do anything properly? So what if I am? Complaining does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, create a difference.

As if I give a damn how she tortures herself at her study table. SO WHAT?

Does that necessarily make her a good daughter? Worse still, does that even imply that she's 'better' than me in any way? Of course not.

Ridiculous. I wonder when she'll stop comparing me with other people and just accept me for who I am. I don't even compare her to my friends' mothers anymore. Caring, loving, friendly, thoughtful... She's not my ideal mother and I accept her for who she is and doesn't go around all day for YEARS comparing her with someone else. At least not thrash it out at her face blatantly. Hello, at least I'm a tad more tactful than she is.

I'm not her ideal daughter. So? How much will comparison change the fact that I'm not her ideal, and never will, because I refuse to be someone else? Nothing. Especially when I don't care how that girl is. I don't even admire her. I mean, I really don't get why she's comparing me to someone who has roughly the same kind of grades as me, but less fun to be with. Seriously.

Why can't she just accept that I'm NOT the perfect daughter (Since she isn't a perfect daughter too, she shouldn't even comment.) and will never conform to ANY stereotype that she sets. This is absurd. Why was I even wasting my time to respond?

I can't be bothered to tell her that I do study as well, just that I'm much more productive than that girl is. I study, she studies. She studies harder than me but we get the same kind of grades. I am more playful. I can't go out often, but at least I enjoy my time at home. I don't get the best scores, I struggle with my grades. She can compare me to say someone who works hard for A's but not that girl okay. No offense, really. I just can't stand myself being compared to somebody I don't admire.

[vip_gd]

i'm having a typical bad day
- i broke my 2 nails and it hurts like a beach. i can't feel my fingersssssssss and it looks so bloody
- it was so hot today .. i felt like i was in an oven. bad day to wear jeans x_______X
- i accidentally spilled my drink on some lady .. and i'm hella embarassed
- my mom is .. selfish, mean, inconsiderate, spiteful, mad mad mad, annoying, aggressive and every hateful word in the dictionary.

[Chalk-Bandits]

WTF?! The district and the teachers needs to work something out quick!!!
I was so excited to start again tomorrow...now it's canceled.
They really need to work it out and solve their problems as soon as possible!!!

[taaaaay]

Oh my god.. can't draw a rat for my life. sad sad day

[pastels.]

I have a bunch of homework, because I procrastinated...
People decide to ask me for help on homework like every single day because apparently, I'm smart enough? That's a compliment, thanks. I do have my own homework, you know.
I have three quizzes and one test coming up this week. Probably more.
Also, people suddenly don't care and alienate me and now I feel alone.
Oh, and I'm waiting to paint my nails. Haven't had the time, and they feel so bare and I think they're gonna break soon. o-o;

Nothing life threatening... Just things that have been building up though.

[lilaznmonkee_2008]

it sucks how if my friends rly wanted to, they could probably kno everything i do on this site...but too bad this is the only forum i keep coming back to..anyways more like im having a bad life rather than just a day..i made the idiotic decision to transfer back home for college bc i wasn't very happy at my previous school but eff that shiz..its worse here..its way worse..instead of getting closer to friends, we're drifting apart more...my professors cant teach if their lives depended on it..wait their lives DO...teaching is how they pay their bills...too bad they really suck at it...the only prof that seems ok..honestly is my religion prof...and thats just bc he has a funny sense of humor...all my other profs plainly cant teach..no offense if lol one of you guys are on here and sees this for some strange reason o.O

anyways so yea...now i wanna go back to my other school but i already returned my scholarships and whatnot ...rawr...this aggravates me VERY much so..and to make it worse, i just skipped several assignments for 2 diff classes..i HATE doing online work...w/ friggen strange deadlines...i hate going online now bc its basically my only connection to my friends back at my other school and im avoiding that life...i seem to be avoiding life in general..lord knows whats gonna happen to me once i start working..im being flaky enough as it is..and another thing that sucks as that i have to pay for parking at school...RAWR right? $4 a day...i have class m-f..you can do the math..i want to get a carpool pass...but im scared my friend is gonna flake on me...bc that rly wouldnt be very surprising..no offense and sorry if YOU see this...and can tell its about you...bc the chances of you finding out is ALOT higher than my profs =-=...but yeah...i hope ya dont flake on me...and actually pay for part of the ticket..bc i wont be only giving you a ride to school but your sis too..even tho i probably might not be able to give rides home just since we get off at diff times..but yeah...still gotta pay for the gas that it takes to stop over at your place in the mornings..not like you offered me many rides after you got your license..even though you said you would give us all rides before that...i dk....i feel like im drifting from everyone..and i feel like its my fault...probably is...-0-..its not like im even trying to live a life anymore...i feel so depressed all the time...once i start thinking about life in general (aka school, friends, family, LIFE) I start feeling just a bit depressed..im ignoring ppls calls and emails and what not...i keep failing to do hw assignments...i hate my life right now and i just wish i could do something about it...and no i dont want anti-depressants..unless they can make me lose weight..at which point i wouldnt mind so much...i wanna lose weight...i wanna go back down to 105...thats my only dream for now...dont even wanna begin thinking about school or anything relatively of that sort.

another factor that sucks right now...is my parents seem to be sorta disappointed i didnt go back...i will...i really want to now..but that school is not actually #1 either..and its cold there...bad for my immune system...and it'll probably take me 2 extra years till i grad. if i go back now...*sigh* not to mention how it will look on my transcript when i begin applying for grad schools..why am i even thinking about grad schools yet? im not even half way done w/ my undergrad..especially not with a triple major; double minor..yeah yeah i know im crazy...maybe i'll drop a minor...well both..and make one into a certificate instead =]

thats it..thank you for taking the time to read my rant lol..