[aiaigasa]

(i guess it's not really sabotage but i couldn't come up with a better word for it lol)

i was debating whether or not to put this in L&R but maybe the college students can tell me what to do since most people in L&R are probably still in hs T^T if that's not the case please move the topic!

i went to high school with a girl named emily, and ever since college we've been good friends since we're in the same program and take the same classes. this semester in lab, a guy named jason is on our bench, and he always flirts with emily and she flirts back even though she has a boyfriend. -_____-;;

recently jason and i were taking the same bus back home and this came up:

jason: oh, how'd you do on the 418 exam?
me: i got a 27/35...
jason: haha good you're normal, for a second i thought you were freaky like emily, she got 32.5/35
me: oh wow...
jason: did she send you her practice exam?
me: huh?
jason: she sent you the practice exam right?
me: ...?
jason: oh nevermind

so emily had a practice exam from a previous year or an old exam from her friend who'd already taken the class and shared with jason, a guy she met 2 months ago... but not me... her friend for at least 4 years now, who always helps her whenever she has any questions or needs help, and goes out of my way to call her and tell her that the prof said so-and-so at office hours so you should change your answer...

anyway, i guess my question is, do i have a right to be pissed off? because i'm really upset. is it natural to expect this kind of thing from people? i mean, i thought we were friends but she would help a guy she just met recently over me.

and what should i do? i can't really confront her about it directly because we're lab partners for the rest of the semester, and working together on a grant proposal.

should i just not answer her questions when she asks? say "i don't know"? or give her wrong answers?

[THEmerryJANE]

Well if it were me I'd be damn pissed too.

But after high school I expect these kinds of things from people, especially super competitive people (which is almost everyone who is premed). Still, if you do decide to confront her, do it nicely lest you end up in a huge argument.

[erure]

I don't think you should jump to conclusions and say that she was deliberately trying to sabotage you, unless you guys were studying together and you shared your stuff. Then that would be sort of messed up -- if that was the case, I'd let it go this time but if it happens again, I'd probably cut that friend out of my life.

[kuku]

Well, being in a fraternity, I have access to some old tests. We aren't allowed to share it with anyone else. I guess your friend didn't want to share with you?

I think you should ask her for old tests. I'm sure she'll share.

[Jasarn]

I would be pissed at her if she did it on purpose though, and would never help her until she made it up to me. But I'm a spiteful person . Can't you just ask her in a nonchalant way, "Oh Jason said you sent him a practice exam" but act like it's cool and stuff and see her reaction?

[rhaize]

I'd be upset :/ doesn't value your friendship obviously.

[AHLEENA]

Well. Even if you have known her for a long time- do you talk to her a lot? You need to communicate with the person you consider as friends to let them have an idea of what you might want to be included in [in your case, practice exams].

Cause you didn't even know her mark-- and that Jason guy had to tell you. :/ So it seems that you don't discuss class/marks with that Emily girl a lot...

This is just what I feel- I dunno. Maybe next time you can just ask her for practice exams, I'm sure she wouldn't say no- if she does, you can always ask that Jason guy since Emily seems to send them to him.

:]

Also. I would like to say that, although someone may only know another for a short time- some people just click as good friends and find it easier to communicate and finding things in common. Yup.

and what should i do? i can't really confront her about it directly because we're lab partners for the rest of the semester, and working together on a grant proposal.

Confront her. You need to solve this issue- or you might not work 100% well with her since it seems to be bothering you. Say something like, "So I heard from Jason that you had practice exams-- and I was wondering if you would be able to send some for me as well? I'd really like some, because I think they would be helpful." The worst she can do is say no, then you can go ask Jason for them. :]

[MarKTin]

Communicate with her, and do not sound bitter or angry when you do. You don't want to give her the wrong impression. Don't sweat it and don't get work up on it because there are many other possibility why she would give it to Jason and not you:

1. Slip her mind
2. Jason simply asked for it
3. She and Jason study together

So on and so forth, since you guys will be working together on other stuff like the grant and lab, its best to talk it out with her if its really bothering you.

I hope this helps.

[AznBetty]

thats mad effed up.

best way to go is to either confront her, or let it go if you can do that.

im very immature tho, so if that crap happened to me, id give them the cold shoulder. but like i said... im immature. lol

[sillymeboy]

This reminds me of my cousin. He had previous exams in a couple of courses, and he knew they were very similar if not exact to the actual test, but he didn't tell me. After a while I found out and he said the lower your score is the higher mine will be. He's referring to the fact that if everybody else score lower than him then the curve will be high and his score will look better. It was a very a-hole move to do lol. He WAS my best friend, too.The keyword there is "was" and it didn't end because of this though.