[lil_star]

Ok, So there is this guy that i met after our cultural new year celebration.
We were randoms at first but then it all just started changing as we tlked to each other more.
I mean we met at parties ofcourse and it started from there.
He wasn't from the same city, so when he left to go back which is still in the same state just different cities.
We constantly talked over the phone for 3 weeks straight.

I only treated him as a friend but however his mates kept telling me that he has told them he likes me etc.
So i started to worry that maybe he doesn't see it the way i see our relationship.
So i told him that i don't feel the same way and don't intend it to be that way.

Weeks later, a friend of mine asked how we were going and etc. We had a talk about the situation and then it just turned
things around for me. Ofcourse, since i made it clear to him, we stopped talking over the phone and more over the internet but
not as much for over a month.

After my friend and i had the talk, i tried to see if he still liked me, because after having the talk, i felt that maybe i do
have feelings for him but just turned a blind eye.
So days *after the talk* later we dated etc etc.

Enough of the babble. This is what is getting me tied up.
After 2 weeks, i felt that there wasn't any strong feelings from me but for him its getting stronger.
I feel that there isn't anymore chemistry. This week is the 3rd week and i decided to not talk to him for the week and see
how i really feel without interacting with him. Ofcourse i told him that i feel like i needed space away from him for a wile.
I got opinions that maybe i needed space *too much talking makes u annoyed/too much!* or i rushed into the relationship.
I mean at times i may want his presence but because of the distance it makes it hard for me to talk constantly to him over the
internet/phone and not see him at all. Its just a plain date to me.

Whats wrong here? =S
i'm seeking help so i don't lead him on.

[rurokenshin]

maybe u guys went a bit too fast?
u only knoww him for about a couple months right...
and its not good for u guys to like talkingg *all* the time...i guess taking a week off is a good idea
if u miss him then u guyss still got a chance

[monrada]

Three weeks in the grand scheme of things... isn't that much time.
If it's that easy to like someone, you can bet it'll be just as easy to loose interest.

[tokidokimiki]

i think you guys might have mistaken 'loving' each other for infatuation ><
if you still don't miss him at all after not talking for a while ... i think its better to break the relationship off.
its worse to drag it on righttt?
good luckk <3

[WoopieDaDoo]

i think you guys might have mistaken 'loving' each other for infatuation ><
if you still don't miss him at all after not talking for a while ... i think its better to break the relationship off.
its worse to drag it on righttt?
good luckk <3

I couldn't agree more with you tokidokimiko (Damn that's a difficult name to write btw! T_T)

Lil star, basically your saying that you had feelings for him in the beginning, but then the chemistry slowly fades away in a period of time.
Distance relationships are very difficult usually. In this case, your going through one, which doesn't allow you guys to see each other that much.
That is what makes you lose the chemistry. In order to make a relationship work or to keep it stable, of course you have to see each other in person too. Some people can manage distance relationships, some not.
There are 2 ways here:

1. You have to make sure he makes time for you, and visit you more often in person. Talking on the phone/internet isn't really going to do it. Because you don't get to hang out or go out with each other and have that chemistry. Internet/Phone honestly doesn't build up the chemistry that much as seeing each other in person. You have to talk to him about it. Honestly, that's an way to save your relationship.

2 If he's too busy and he possibly can't visit you more often and can only have contact with you through the phone/internet, then I'm sorry.. I don't think it's going to work out for you. Since you are the one that has difficulties with it, and I think he doesn't (don't get me wrong though)
I think you have to end it then unfortunatly, because if there's no chemistry anymore, then how are you going to make a relationship work?

The solution: see each other more in real life please, It'll help you guys relationship out alot and it'll definitly create a more well balanced relationship with him. Think it through for the day.

I wish you the best of luck.

[hippiehop]

You just don't like the guy.

Break it off. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

[donporkuloin]

Wow.. you basically don't like him, because he likes you. If he didn't admit to liking you? You would gain interest in him. That's so dingy. I don't mean this as a diss, but stop playing childish games, and appreciate what's in front of you.

[justwildbeat]

Since you are in the same state how far apart are you two? Relationships can't be solely based on phone/msn chatting. You need to be able to see and interact with that other person. If you and he are serious about each other, then the two of your need to invest more into the relationship. Definitely put the effort into driving to each other's cities on the weekends (or longer if possible). However mind you that all of this traveling and such is going to have an impact on your expenses (gas, food, activities) and time spent on other things (family, school work, friends).

[Lie]

You only liked him briefly because a part of you felt like it might have been too late to have him at that point, and we want what we can't have. Each time when you were able to have him, you didn't want him. Break up with him now and save yourselves the frustration.

[lil_star]

maybe u guys went a bit too fast?
u only knoww him for about a couple months right...
and its not good for u guys to like talkingg *all* the time...i guess taking a week off is a good idea
if u miss him then u guyss still got a chance

well i do, but when we get the chance to talk, i dont feel like talking for long because then that "too much talking" feeling
comes back =S

Since you are in the same state how far apart are you two? Relationships can't be solely based on phone/msn chatting. You need to be able to see and interact with that other person. If you and he are serious about each other, then the two of your need to invest more into the relationship. Definitely put the effort into driving to each other's cities on the weekends (or longer if possible). However mind you that all of this traveling and such is going to have an impact on your expenses (gas, food, activities) and time spent on other things (family, school work, friends).

The travelling aint long, 3hrs on aeroplane and almost 24hrs drive.
But i know that i won't be the one visiting him in favour because my parents wont let me go anywhere without them =.=

Thanks for the adviceee. The "seeing each other in person" needs to be worked on "i agree",
Just how do i tell him that its not making the feelings seem real enough to even mean it when i say "i miss you" without
hurting him?

[nubbie]

maybe you guys really don't click. I dated a guy for a month before. Yeah I lost feelings after a month. It just wasn't flying with me. It happens.

[my_monkey]

I say travel every weekend to see each other because it seems like you don't like to talk much on the phone. I guess seeing each other face to face once a week should boost your relationship a bit.

[小甜密]

The travelling aint long, 3hrs on aeroplane and almost 24hrs drive.

in the same state takes three hours!!??? holy snap. from san francisco to las vegas, it's only 1 hour and a half. they're not even in the same state. perhaps it's the really long distance that kept your feelings distant.

[sus]

let him know how u feel
so he can access the situation n maybe hold bak his own feelings whle u figure out urs
no one likes to be left out in the dark

and for u... relationshiups just dont happen out of no where
u gota work on it
get to know the other person
relationships are hard work.. its just the ititial chemistry that brings two people together.. u two have to do the rest to maintain it....

[ad0rkable]

Dude, I have the same problem you have right here.
Like, I know how you feel. It's not a good feeling either.
Umm, let's see. You can't keep being with the person
if you don't like them that way anymore, so you should
probably tell him what's going on. Yes, I think you guys
mistook 'infatuation' as 'love'. Not really such a thing
as love at first sight, ya know? But if you still want to be with
him then try your best to find new things about him that
entrances you. You never know.

[JASON;]

you never really liked him.
you just wanted what you couldn't have at one that point.

[bellyy.loo]

i think you were just infatuated with the fact that he liked you as well, and he was a potential guy for you.
dont drag it on if you already have the idea of breaking up. if he gets too deep and starts to have really deep feelings for you, it may be harder to get out of the relationship.

i wanted to break up with my ex a few days into the relationship, mainly because *I* lost interest as well. so its possible to lose interest in a small period of 3 weeks, if it only took you a few days to realise you liked him.

[fallentenshi]

well if you can live without him (e.g: not talking to him or see him or think about him) for a week, then I don't think you're that into him in the first place.

if you're not into him at first, you will lose that interest quicker.
When you talk to him non-stop for 3 weeks.. 3 weeks later when you know everything about him, what else is there to talk about?? If there's no feeling towards the guy, you get bored.

Just break it off.

[CitrusFlower]

I can tell you it happens alot to me thats why I do look up to couple who are able to be so into each other fairly. If you no longer have interest it's best to end it before he falls in deeper but be wise with it because I've notice people tend to regret a break up.

[Ayuu~]

soundz like u dont like the guy to begin with.
u just "made" yourself believe u liked him.