[HSuke]

I'm posting this in the Real world category because I want responses from only 20+year-old members.

What are the biggest determining factors of who should pay for a date? Please note that I'm asking for who should pay in the MAJORITY of situations.

I've allowed the option of selecting multiple answers.

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Update:

I'm glad to see that many of you are fairly open-minded. Assuming that no one offers to pay, these would be my preferrences:

First Date: The guy pays if he invites. Split even if the girl invites. (Can you imagine inviting a guy and then expecting him to pay? Fail.)
Next few dates: The person who invites should pay, though split even is quite fair too.
Steadily dating: It does not matter at this point. The two dating should have determined their system by now. I prefer to split it evenly.

[Pogichinoy]

I'm traditional and I believe the guy should pay for most of the outings.

First date, the guy. Few dates after the first, the guy. Going out steadily, the guy. The few dates after the first and the going out steadily dates should be paid mostly by the guy, out of courtesy and tradition. If the date involves several transactions, i.e. icecream, dinner, movies, churros, fairy floss, slurpees, etc. then in my opinion, I would let the girl pay for the small things like the fairy floss or slurpees, but I would always pay for the dinner, movies, etc.

If it's the guys birthday, then it is completely OK for the girl to pay for everything, just this once! Or if she organised something just for him on Valentines day or any other celebrations.

If the guy is not as flexible financially, then there is no need to try to raise the bar, just be practical and choose an eatery where it fits the budget.

[Raito!]

im traditional too, guys should pay regardless.

if girls offer, deny it and pay

im just too traditional, i take the girls offering to pay as an insult to the financial status of oneself. ex: "you boy can't afford to pay so i will offer to pay".

but then this is just my opinion

[tian`tian]

I guess I'm less traditional.

When it comes to the first date, I believe the guy should pay for the date or whoever asked the person out.

For the first few dates, same kind of thing, or split since no one is certain about the stability of the relationship. Personally if we went on a couple dates and he paid for everything and then in the end I didn't think it'd work out, I'd feel bad about having him spend so much money on me.

If it's a stable couple, then split or whoever is more financially stable. I still firmly believe that if you're in a serious relationship, you're there to support the other person. If they're in a situation where they don't have as much money but you do, then there isn't any problem with you switching off paying or splitting the bill.

Maybe I just have a more independent mindset. I don't like the feeling that I "owe" anyone anything, and I don't like being perceived as a "gold-digger"/financially dependent person where I need them to pay for everything. Overall I think my bf pays for more than I do, but knowing that he isn't working full time and is still in graduate school, I try to help out or give him a break whenever I can. The point of serious relationships in the end is to become married or live together, sharing expenses, etc. At that point would it really matter if the guy is "paying more?" It would all just become more joint, so I don't see a problem with it being a step below that (splitting/switching) if the couple is long term.

[Swtess]

I only care about the first three dates. It shows some class and leaves a good impression when the guy pays for everything.
All dates after that, I don't really care as much. By that time you should be comfortable with one another.

[dafleur]

Maybe I just have a more independent mindset. I don't like the feeling that I "owe" anyone anything, and I don't like being perceived as a "gold-digger"/financially dependent person where I need them to pay for everything.

i am right there with ya.




first date, i feel that the person who did the asking out should pay. i mean, when you ask someone out on a date, aren't YOU in essence offering to take THEM out?

[*wenDzie^^*]

i don't mind going dutch and i always offer on the first date
if he accepts, thats cool, if he wants to pay, thats cool too

but during a relationship, i do believe the person who is more financially stable should pay more (whether its me or the guy)

[dot1q]

First couple of dates, the guy. After a steady relationship, dutch or take turns. I'm sorry but if a girl expects to have her bf pay all the time just on the notion that guys should pay, you're a "gold digger". Unless of course one of you are much more financially stable than the other.

[derrek]

I think the guy should pay for the first few, and the occasional special meal or something... then things should be split even. Most women don't want to be a charity anyway, that's a little girl thing.

[Temoin la Nuit]

The guy should pay for dates in general.. especially the first few ones. But then again, I think that's cos usually the guy asks the gal out. Not sure how I would do it if I got asked out.. that's kinda a turn-off for me, so I usually turned it down in the past.

After going steady, I generally still pay for all dinners, etc. when going out. But the gal should really contribute too, in some extent.. like buying groceries sometimes, etc.

If the other person expects that you "should" pay though.. you should kick them to the curb. I hate being taken for granted..

[Mr Boo Boo]

first date the guy.....after a few...it doesnt matter....steady relationship...split even
i used to believe that the guy should pay for almost everything but in today world its hard for just 1 person to pay for most of the date

[Peppermint-]

Absolutely does not matter to me x3

As long as no one is taken advantage of or anything, I don't see why there has to be a specific order in who pays when. There should be a balance in the long run, sure, but I don't get why there's always such a fuss if the girl pays for the first date or whatever.. I always offer to pay or split, but I don't care enough to make a big deal of it if the guy/girl minds..

Edit: ^^ Omg, I'd never suggest the other party should pay though! Haha.. And, seriously? You think it's a turnoff if a girl asks you out?

[questions987]

It doesn't matter who pays. I would hope that the first date is a hangout between friends. In all honesty, when I did date, the guys were fall financialy stable and so am I so it never mattered to me. If he picked it up for the first date, I picked up the second date, and so on...heck on the split 50/50 it's fine with me, I dont think it should be such a big deal.

[dokkaebi]

Welcome to the 21st century, ladies. Take turns! I believe in give-and-take, but think going Dutch sucks the romance out of the date, so paying for every other formal date (and it doesn't have to be hella fancy if you're strapped for cash) would work out.

[jphase]

I would pay for the first date and the few following the first but after we've been going out for awhile, it wouldn't matter much to me as to who pays.. if the lady wants to pay, i'll let her pay.

[missxmoody]

As a girl who dates girls .. I have to say it doesn't matter to me. I like the whole pay what you ordered yourself, but at the same rate I love paying for my girlfriend .. it's not that she can't but we just like taking care of each other. When I don't have much money she takes care of it, or when she's low on money I'll take care of her .. whether out on date by ourselves or with a group of friends.

No one doesn't like being taken care of though and having the other person paying for the date. But, I'm totally fine with being equal.

[Meenuh]

I don't really have a set mindset on who should pay but it's kind of sad when a guy that asks a girl out and doesn't pay/offer to pay. Ie my ex bf. Total bum. I payed for EVERYTHING. He didn't even offer.

My current bf and I have an all out battle whenever the check comes and whoever wins gets to pay. Lol. I would rather he let me pay majority of the times though but he's usually to quick for me so I don't end up getting the liberty of paying.

[Temoin la Nuit]

Absolutely does not matter to me x3

As long as no one is taken advantage of or anything, I don't see why there has to be a specific order in who pays when. There should be a balance in the long run, sure, but I don't get why there's always such a fuss if the girl pays for the first date or whatever.. I always offer to pay or split, but I don't care enough to make a big deal of it if the guy/girl minds..

Edit: ^^ Omg, I'd never suggest the other party should pay though! Haha.. And, seriously? You think it's a turnoff if a girl asks you out?

Yeah.. to be honest, I like the chase

[HERMIT]

I always pay on my first dates - which usually are blind dates, incidentally.
And not because I am traditional or anything.
It's just that I'm usually left with the bill because my date has escaped through the restaurant bathroom window and fled the premises leaving me high and dry.
But that's okay. It's not like Denny's is a real expensive place anyway.

[je_amourx]

I am a spoil gal, so I'd like my male companion to pay!