[fudgemonk3y]

i got into my 1st relationship about 2 1/2 years ago ,knowing that i wouldnt last
( bcuz my family wants to migrate to Australia , i will further my studies and get a PR in australia)
he already knows about it , but still v continue on our relationship ( its his first relationship too)

some things you should know about this relationship is that
we have never met before ( tried many times but failed =/)
we met each other online
n v run a long distance relationship almost forever , ( we ussualy sms each other ) he lives in Singapore while i live in Malaysia.

Right now , i am in Australia doing my foundation studies for the first year , ive only been here for a month.
About August last year i broke up with him because the relationship was a dead end as i didint allow him to come Australia to find me in the future because
i didnt want him to quit his job in Singapore.
The reason is that
he didint get to continue further studies because he didint have money , so he worked after schooling .
He now has a good position earning a good amount of money too.
If he were to come to Australia with me , he had to start from zero again.
I would be selfish if i made him do that.
I really wish i were able to be with him =/ but theres no way out of this.

about a month after we broke up ( somehow) we got together again
we continued on the relationship till i came to australia , where we officialy broke up

He started talking to me again a couple of days ago , i found out that he started smoking and drinking.
It was something that he used to say was bad , but now hes telling me that hes doing this because he is depressed and stressed out.
His friend told me hes not the same anymore
I used to tell him to drive safely and speed whenever he drove , his friend told me hes speeding like crazy whenever he drives now.
I tried to stop him frm smoking , he wouldnt listen to me anymore , he says that even if he stops smoking he wouldnt be able to get back with me.
According to his friend ,there are loads of preety gurls trying to get him right now , but he ignores every one of them.
( and yes i am jealous with the number of girls that want him )

What should i do right now =/ i am really lost , i really wish i could get back together with him and make him happy again so he can stop drinking and smoking , but by doing that im just gonna make the whole story rewind all over again.

><. i need help

[AHLEENA]

The problem here is you never wanted him to risk his job in order to meet up with you. You seem to like him a lot. You also seem to want to get back together with him again. He also seems to want to get back together with you again as well.

Although you two have never met- have you at least exchanged pictures?

Would it really be that bad? I mean, you haven't said anything about being interested in other people in Australia. And in your post, it says that he wants to get back with you- and is not interested in other girls so...

Maybe you should just get back with him because you seem to want to. I don't know the real definition of a relationship- but to me it's like, two people letting each other know that they want to get a little more serious- and not wanting to get involved with others (like... cheating).

If you do get back together with him, just let him know you really don't want him to risk his job to meet you. Maybe you'll have a chance to meet each other another time. And you can webcam, use the phone, microphone, chatting, mail, email etc.


---

If I were you, which I'm not, so don't take anything I say to heart. =)

- I would be wary about people whom I have never met before. (people are not always who they try to portray)
- I would not long-distance date a stranger whom I have never met before. (it's not that safe because there are a lot of weirdos out there)
- I would not date anyone whom I believed to have no future/results with.

edit: please don't feel offended and you don't need to follow anything I say :0

[fudgemonk3y]

its okay im not offended , n yea v do exchange pictures
i used to feel dat way too , but i believe i can trust him

the thing is , its not about risking his job for him to meet me ,
it is quitting his job to come over to australia to get a new job here to be able to live with me in the future.
because i will not be able to go to singapore to work etc. ( my parents want me to be in aus )

[einna23]

Seeing as you guys have never met before I think you should meet, even though you guys have had a pretty long relationship. Because "if" you're willing to risk him coming over to live, you should at lease get to know him face to face, people'e personality's can be different and things may change as you get to know them more.

Also if you really love him then you should get back together with him, it's not what makes him happy but what makes you happy. If he can't stop drinking and smoking then that's his problem.

[thesisoflove]

: (
If you really love him, and he really loves you.. you guys should reunite..
and somehow meet each other

[Onizuka]

Give him a chance.

Singapore and Malaysia is not very far. It's not like you're in a long distance relationship from America and Asia.

Every guys deserve a chance. Please do so.