[SKINNY_GENES]

thx peepos. that helped.

[Seraphyx]

It's rather selfish of you to expect him to delete his pictures of his ex-wife, get rid of his wedding photos, and his wedding ring. It's like asking him to remove a part of his life that has some significant meaning just because you are insecure. I don't think he's ever going to just completely forget about his ex-wife and I don't think you should expect him to. I'd have to say it's normal that you feel insecure about this whole situation, but you just have to deal with it and not push him away. You are over-analyzing too much and you should just be grateful you are in such a great relationship.

Best of luck.

[heheimawesome]

if hes been waiting a year being loyal to you even though you didn't ask him to and even rejected him.. maybe you should cut him some slack.
i understand why you're upset about him being married before, but mini cooper happens right? it doesnt make him a worse man nor does it make him better. maybe at least he learned what can make it work this time.

but if its something like this i dont think you should listen to others and let them convince you. you should think about it yourself.

p.s one year is a long time, get it on.

[Honey_Babee]

It's rather selfish of you to expect him to delete his pictures of his ex-wife, get rid of his wedding photos, and his wedding ring. It's like asking him to remove a part of his life that has some significant meaning just because you are insecure. I don't think he's ever going to just completely forget about his ex-wife and I don't think you should expect him to. I'd have to say it's normal that you feel insecure about this whole situation, but you just have to deal with it and not push him away. You are over-analyzing too much and you should just be grateful you are in such a great relationship.

Best of luck.

agreed.

if you cant accept his past, why get into a relationship with him, when ur just gonna sink deeper into it and torture yourself.

[nubbie]

hmm...well since he was married before, from what you tell me it honestly doesn't seem like he's had any lingering feelings for his ex-wife. When they got divorced, maybe he just forgot about her and moved on with his life as if they weren't together in the first place. Maybe that's why he didn't bother to delete her from his buddy list and such.

Isn't it a little hypocritical when you say "i respect him and his privacy, and i trust him." and yet you go through his contact list?

The reason why he married her is because he thought she was his first love. Just because there was a first love doesn't mean there can't be a second. You have to come to grips with the fact that you're not his first love. You can't do anything about the fact that he met his ex-wife before you. When you're truly in love with someone, its hard to forget them, even though the feelings may not be there anymore.

My bf and I have broken up on a few occasions because he still had feelings for his ex (but that's a story for another day). I realized all this negativity wasn't helping our relationship so one day I just let it go and took a leap of faith and we've been good for a while now. They barely talk now, even though they still consider each other friends.

You have to understand that there will always be someone before you. You have to stop comparing yourself to her because there's a reason why they divorced. And even after a year, he's still trying to be with you. The poor fella is trying pretty hard too it seems.

If you really want to be with him, it isn't a matter of what he can do. You have to let it go first.



oh and teasing him is mean lol i like to tease too but you have to give in or else you're going to give him blue balls and from what i've heard, it hurts. That's why he hates it. hahahaha damn...he must be very sexually frustrated

[phishy]

It's you...

what happened in the past, happened in the past! dont let it ruin it for you cos theres nothing you can do about it!

from what you've posted i dont think he still has feelings for his ex-wife, ur evidence isn't valid in my opinion, just cos he hasnt deleted every single contact detail doesnt mean he still isnt over her; and well she did have a sigificant role in his past, why should he have to delete everything to do with his ex wife?, just because he hasnt, doesnt mean he still has feelings for her. I think they probably ended the marriage on good terms, which maybe why he hasnt spitefully deleted her entire existance from his past.

anyway! he obviously wants you! not his ex wife! so get over it! just because hes been divorced doesnt make him a different person, he might have learnt from the mistakes from his past marriage; which benefits you!

[hippiehop]

It's rather selfish of you to expect him to delete his pictures of his ex-wife, get rid of his wedding photos, and his wedding ring. It's like asking him to remove a part of his life that has some significant meaning just because you are insecure. I don't think he's ever going to just completely forget about his ex-wife and I don't think you should expect him to. I'd have to say it's normal that you feel insecure about this whole situation, but you just have to deal with it and not push him away. You are over-analyzing too much and you should just be grateful you are in such a great relationship.

Best of luck.

I completely agree with this.

I don't get why you are playing this game. If you like this guy... why do you have to be like that? No offense but this all sounds kind of immature. I get that marriage is a big deal but you seem to be blowing it way out of proportion. An ex-wife is not like an ex-girlfriend. You know that, too.

[eximius]

It's rather selfish of you to expect him to delete his pictures of his ex-wife, get rid of his wedding photos, and his wedding ring. It's like asking him to remove a part of his life that has some significant meaning just because you are insecure. I don't think he's ever going to just completely forget about his ex-wife and I don't think you should expect him to. I'd have to say it's normal that you feel insecure about this whole situation, but you just have to deal with it and not push him away. You are over-analyzing too much and you should just be grateful you are in such a great relationship.

Best of luck.

Agreed.

Insecurity in this sort of situation is totally normal... but you're taking it too far.

And in regards to "is it me? or is it him?"
It's both of you.
He was an idiot for not figuring out that him and his ex-wife weren't compatible BEFORE they married.
And you're foolish for taking your insecurities too far.

[colloquy]

Man, this topic is riddled with contradictions. You say you trust him, then you say you don't. (Basically you say that in different ways) Which is it? Judging from your responses, I guess you don't. Your feelings towards your ex are natural however - but the facts are that your boyfriend is with you not her for a reason. Of course he's going to keep the wedding ring and contact, what else is he supposed to do, forget and erase that part of his past?

And also, stop being a cocktease. I know for a fact that guys hate them. Your boyfriend must really like you or something.

[tizzy1]

I think you're being a little immature about him still keeping her on his contacts and whatnot. It's not that big of a deal. Moving on, I think you are over analyzing things. He's obviously over her since he's willing to put this much time and effort in order to be official with you. He doesn't even say anything about you teasing him (really unfair by the way. sex is sex, I don't see what it could possibly be testing.). Yes, he is over her. Can't see how much you really like him though if you seem unwilling to believe him.

Good luck!

[AHLEENA]

I think you should not go through his stuff- that's like privacy invasion, you know. Would you like it if someone went through all your stuff? (even if you have nothing to hide, it's just kind of... well, just don't do it again.)
The contact list thing, the ring, or the pictures- they are memories of his life- it can be upsetting- but they are evidence of events in his life. I think you should try to accept it- even if it's hard. If he ever decides to delete or throw things away, it should be his own decision with no influence from you regarding it.

I think he really likes you and I think you should try to trust him on this issue =)
If I were in your position, I would feel very insecure as well- but, I would also be happy to have such a great, devoted boyfriend! Go give him a kiss and a big hug! =)

[KastSanity]

I've had that issue...not that extreme though xD.

My bf was infatuated/crushed on this girl fro two years. TWO YEARS! But he never dated her and I was his first official gf. I sometimes wonder whether he thinks about the "what ifs" about dating her or whatever. I wasn't totally bothered by it that it would interfere with our relationships. but there were times when I'd wonder about things only because of what he said or whatever. He still talks to her. I'm fine with it. I have him and he's with me, 2 yrs coming ^-^. I trust that he's totally over her because he would've left me the minute he found out who i really was XD. He's that kind of guy, decisive.

I think you should def'ly give that chance to your BF, I mean, you really didn't give him a chance in the first place. it's not like he lied to you or anything. It's also a personal information, he's gotta be ready to tell it to you himself. The key point was that he told you and you didn't find it out accidentally. he seems genuine to you considering that he stuck with you through all your umm internal struggles.

give the man some love already!

[jesus.shuttlesworth]

you guys are in your 20s and neither are getting any?

im pretty sure hes getting some on the side

[SKINNY_GENES]

not all guys are like you.

[mintcracker]

^ hmm....
guys will be guys, and if they're not getting any, MOST LIKELY than not, they are doing it with some other person

I didn't say all though lol

anyway, stop being selfish and toying with him. He proved himself to you, shouldn't you cut him some slack?
This is like girls that won't forgive bfs for losing their virginity and crap

uh it's in the past, stop dwelling on it...their existence does not revolve around you. =_=

[jesus.shuttlesworth]

not all guys are like you.

not they're not but 90% are, the other 10% are gay and they get it on like rabbits too

[private]

Haha I agree with you jesus.shuttlesworth.

[wonderfulyou]

look at this.. if he doesn't want to have anything to do with you, he wouldn't bother asking you to be his gf over and over and over again. even if he still has apart of his ex-wife memory running around in his head, it's not like he's gonna go talk to her right?

[vintageballad]

Just because they're divorced, that doesn't justify they shouldn't talk anymore.
I don't think it's right for you to expect him to erase practically everything from his past. You even said that he had someone he thought about spending the rest of his life with, yet you're expecting him to forget about her? That's just... absurd, haha.

[MNLV27]

I think that he's over the fact that they aren't together but seriously, are you ever completely over an ex?
Anyways, I believe that you are thinking too much and is allowing his past to affect both of your futures together. If he wasn't over his divorce then he wouldn't have pursued you for over a year, that is long. You got him sprung on you, just forget that he was once married, people go out and they suddenly think that they're ready for marriage to only figure out that it was a mistake. You can't say that with your past bf's you never thought of marrying them?

Well, goodluck in whatever you do....