[allineedx]

Hi soompiers. I've been reading posts and decided that maybe you guys could help me with this dilemma.

So this is the story:

I met this guy over the summer at camp. We started making small talk and he asked for my number. He lives a few hours away and is almost two years older. At first we liked each other but he made it clear that he didn't want any sort of relationship since it was long distance and he was just going into college. So I understood and quickly got over it. We continued to talk on the phone once or twice every week or more [he is usually always the one calling]. He is naturally a bit flirty in my opinion but I don't really know how he acts around other girls since we don't really have a lot of mutual friends. So lately we began talking a bit more and really getting to know each other even more. During one of his breaks, he decided to come visit me. He stayed for a night and left the next evening. My friends were even like "omg he's definitely into you, you can just tell." Even though our relationship was mainly built from phone conversations, it was not awkward to see him in person. I had always thought we were just friends, even though we would flirt sometimes.

So during his visit, we were watching a movie and we hooked up
He initiated it, when he put his arms around me. And he would kiss me cheek and stuff, and then he slowly made his way to my mouth. Now this was my first kiss and he knew it since I had told him before that I was a lip virgin. He wasn't very grope-y or anything, he held my hand a lot, and brushed my hair away from my face and he'd kiss my forehead too.

Anyways, he left afterward since he had to catch the bus, but it left me pretty confused. I know the easiest way to know for sure is to ask him, but I don't want to do it over the phone, and since the next time I'll be seeing him is in a few weeks, I wanted to just get the opinions from you guys and advice on what to do/say. He's been calling me every night but only talking for a couple of minutes since he has lots of work to do. I feel like sometimes I think that maybe he does really want something more than friends but then I think about what he's said about long distance and stuff and then I get confused The way we talk isn't any different than it was before...just kinda flirty, teasing and good conversation.

Sooooo please help!

[plegend2007]

It is obvious that he does have an interest in you. Now with that said, he also knows that he can have you whenever he wants too. So what i would do is be direct and ask him what your status is. Ask him to be frank with you so that you are very clear and understand what is going on between the two of you. If he is beating around the bush and not giving you a straight answer, that means that he likes you, but just want you on the side while he can do whatever he wants to do at his school. That would be like him having the best of both worlds. Maybe he doesn't want to settle down just yet, idk, so you must find out and clarify what his intentions are. If he is still trying to go around the question, i would stop giving him play and tell him that you are not a play thing. That will show him that you are not willing to play into his games. You have to be assertive in this matter or else, you might end up getting the short end of the straw. If you are willing to just play with him, then you can, if you want more, you need to find out.

[Twisted_fatE]

yeah it's not clear to me what this guy's intentions are, but he stated that he does NOT want a long-distance relationship with you....yet here he was kissing u and taking ur "lip virginity" away knowing full well he'd be ur first kiss....so maybe he likes you...?? i honestly don't know...u say ur conversations are the same as before almost as if nothing happened, so i'd just say don't get ur feelings and hopes up so high, because it actually sounds to me like he might be playing you. like the poster before me stated, he might just see you as 'convenient' and like he could have u whenever he wants. i'm not trying to sound like a jerk or mean or anything but there was nothing u wrote in ur post that indicates he'd want to take this to the next level relationship-wise, but then again, i'm not hearing HIS side of things, so it's hard to tell. if ur feeling ballsy enough, i'd suggest asking what that kiss was all about and saying something like "you said u didn't want a long-distance relationship, but why did u kiss me? it sends me confusing signals"....idk, but if i were u, i'd really want a direct answer, because i can't stand that kinda confusion....bleh...i hope everything works out for the best, and please keep us updated =)

[Onizuka]

Who knows? He might just be playing around with you.

Don't trust anyone easily. Try to find out more about him. Why don't you get to know some of his close friends?

[nubbie]

well. He told you that he didn't want to have a long distance relationship BEFORE he went to college. After he went to college, that was when he started talking to you on the phone and you guys started to know each other better. Maybe it was after he got to know you that he really started having feelings for you.

It happens all the time where someone will say that they don't want to be with someone because of something (in this case its distance/school). But in the end, they give in because the attraction is so strong.

Like someone said earlier, they could just be having you on the side but don't automatically assume that its true. His actions tell me he's into you but the only way to know is to hear it from his own mouth (preferably face to face). So during now and the next time he's visiting, think about how you're going to ask and try to analyze your feelings as well.

[AHLEENA]

I think he's playing with you :[

I don't think you should have told him you didn't have any experience, now this evil soon-to-be-college guy is going to be more evil! Ruuun D:

Okay kidding.

Anyways, he already said before that he didn't want a long-distance relationship... so... if you want a relationship, I suggest you to stay away from this kind of guy for now. Haha. But if you want to have some fun with no strings attached... I think this guy won't mind at all.

Good luck.

PS. Gather up some courage and ask him! You won't know what he's thinking unless he tells you~

[wonderfulyou]

really now.. you dont wanna be thinking so much. find out what his intentions are towards you