[tinnny]

I'm just wondering on why I can't hold onto someone's interest for long. This is what happens, if I meet someone new, I talk to them and hang out with them. If I find something that interests me in them, then I talk to them more and hang out with them more. Same thing happens with the other person; however, after a while the other person either gets bored of me or lost their interest and wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. I don't get it. It's not like I'm being clingy to them because I don't always start the conversation or always ask them to hang out. Am I doing anything wrong? Is it my personality or how I am or something? :S

[AzizOnDeck]

Just be yourself, if their not interested let it go... hang out with your normal friends for now until someone comes to you =)

[tinnny]

Just be yourself, if their not interested let it go... hang out with your normal friends for now until someone comes to you =)

That's the thing. They DO come to me but after a while, they lose interest.

[sweetcream]

Yeah, just be yourself, but at the same time take initiative.
Sometimes if one friend is busy or forgetful, call them up or invite them to hang out.
I think a friendship should show efforts from both sides.
Give and take, right?

[moot11]

At you're age, it's hard to hold anyone's attention for long, regardless of your personality.

Develop your interests and desires, and in a few years you'll be meeting some very interesting, and passionate people in college who will find you interesting, as well.

Also, you don't always "click" with everyone you meet. I end up being friends with 1/10 I meet.

[the sweetest prince]

Maybe you just dont have a personality they like? I know I ignore people that annoy me.

[love*beat]

I have the same problem with people :|
Some people are so superficial, they only see others as a means of entertainment.
But then again I guess maybe they might think you're too distant from them?
If you don't constantly talk to your friends they might not feel close to you.

And I agree with sweetcream, a true friendship would be a balance NOT one-sided.
(Though it's still yet that I find a friendship like that >_> lol)

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

That's the thing. They DO come to me but after a while, they lose interest.

Then maybe you make them bored.

[tinnny]

Thanks for the advices, really =)

I already know that people don't "click" right away but if I was meeting with that person or talking with that person a lot for more than a week, wouldn't it be enough time to click? I guess it depends on the personalities of the other person. But I would say that if you constantly talked with someone a lot for more than a week, it would be enough time to click.

I do start conversations and make plans with them but what happens when the other person isn't putting any effort to talk with you? What do I do then?

Then maybe you make them bored.

Well that is what I'm thinking but if I make them bored, why would they talk to me constantly in the beginning? Wouldn't they be bored after they talked to me more than a week?

[sweetmomo]

I guess it depends on the frequency that you meet these people. I realized that if you don't share the same circumstances (i.e. classes, work, extracurriculars) where you spend a lot of time with them, and you didn't 'click' in the first place, then you gradually drift. But there's a lot of times when you meet a person and just start talking, never thinking you're going to click, but you do, and then you call each other up and make time to hang out even after let's say, you finish that term and you don't have classes together and whatnot. And sometimes people get busy and their lives can't really run around people who are 'inconvenient.' if you share in a lot of things in their life, it's not hard to keep in touch, but like i said, if situations change, it's not unusual that you just gradually stop talking. Happens a lot, especially in college -- you can be THIS close and something changes, and you don't see/talk to them for like..4 months. things are fleeting, so you shouldn't harbor feelings asking if there's something wrong with you. if you have close friends already somewhere, then it's a clear sign that your personality isn't really strange/bizarre.

[ElectroHime]

that happens to me too ;3
i dont think it's you...it might be ?
but there are LOTS of people who lose interest in others quickly, sadly.
there are other reasons such as...they dont want to be tied down to another person/he pr she might not really actually like you, they got busy with stuff etc.
so dont blame yourself !
just wait until someone else comes along ;D

[hippiehop]

You'll find someone who doesn't lose interest one day. You don't want them if they are like that anyway.

[bellarose]

That happens to me too.
But I realized that I do that to people too (unintentionally sometimes).
Like we could be real good friends and then things get busy and we talk less. Or we meet one day and seem to click...but then not say hi anymore when we see each other again.
But a lot of the times it's with boys (they only want one thing...they realize they can't have any...so they leave).

I'm really slow at making new friends. It takes me 1-2 years to get close to people. I don't think 1 week is enough, unless you're seeing them every single day for several hours (like being on a trip together).

[xo_sugar_ox]

that happens a lot to many people actually .__.
especially me -__-
but it's normal for people our age. some people just want to socialize more and talk to many people, so it's probably not you

[onFiRE*]

Omgosh, I totally know what you mean! It's like when I first meet someone we're super tight and later on it's like they find someone better to hang out with. I mean, it's not just them I see them become super tight with other people yet it's just not with me. It makes me feel so sad. :/ I try to be an interesting person and stuff, but it's tiring to always be the one putting so much effort into the relationship. Sometimes I feel like they might think I'm try too hard >___< Yet they never seem to have to try with other people )=

I think the only thing you can do it try and pursue friendships with people who have more in common with you. Or try making more friends with the opposite gender, sometimes they're just not as fussy and are easier to talk to. Make sure you keep in contact with them a lot, like hang out / text / etc. then it should be okay. But don't force yourself, sometimes just let things be.

[tinnny]

Thanks for the reply! =)

Well, this never happened to me before but it kept happening recently. That's why I feel new to this.
All my friends that I have, I've known them for more than a year. My close friends, I've been friends with them for 5 years now. And when I do meet new people, I usually click very quickly with them. Not just me, them too. So, I felt that there was something wrong with me when this happened.

Don't get me wrong, I know that some people just don't click easily or some of them would never click with me because of personality differences or not being in each others' lives much and that is understanding because it happened to me before and I understand that.
However, recently the people who doesn't seem to be interested in me, we have a lot in common. Our personalities are very similar. So, I couldn't see why they would stop talking to me out of no where, when it was obvious that we clicked and have a lot in common.

I also understand that they might be busy and that they have a life LOL but they can't be busy ALL the time? I mean, when I try to have a conversation with them, I make sure that they aren't busy because I don't like to bother people.

[madeely]

Haha. Are you a gemini? I am a gemini and they say geminis tend to act that way. They lose interest easily. Try distancing from him or her for a period of time, say three days, then maybe the feeling will be back again? ahha.

[tinnny]

Haha. Are you a gemini? I am a gemini and they say geminis tend to act that way. They lose interest easily. Try distancing from him or her for a period of time, say three days, then maybe the feeling will be back again? ahha.

LOL no, I'm not a gemini. I'm a scropio

[starlet7000]

I totally get what you mean. People have a tendency to use me when they only need me.

[Teaaheart]

Mmmh... Are you talking relationship-wise like looking for a bf/gf? If so, then there can be a number of reasons as to why you are unable to hold somebody else's interest. This used to happen to me PLENTY of the time, and I know, it's freaking frustrating and then you start to question youself. But I later came to realize that it really wasn't me, it's them! People's priorities and values and what they seek probably aren't on the same page as your priorities, values and etc. Are you a teenager as well? Like others said, at this time, so many of us just aren't looking for something to commit to (just yet) and would rather have some thrill-seeking fun.. or something of the sort XD. Also, I'd get this mixed up a lot before, but you know when you say that they have 'interest' in you? Well that's just it, it's only at the point of interest. Having interest in a person doesn't quite mean that they like you just yet or already have their mind set on pursuing you... cos you know, 'interest' just means that they're well, just interested! So people may or may not continue to be interested in you if they find that they don't fancy you. Doesn't mean that you aren't interesting though, it just means that they just weren't interested!

So don't sweat it silly beans! I don't think there's actually anything wrong with you! The timing probably just wasn't right~

... P.s. Sorry I couldn't put any input on like general friendship-wise~ I've already got my close set of friends and don't pay any mind to making new ones just yet : / So who knows, maybe all these people who you can't hold their interest to are people like me XD;; ...... Wah-ha-ha-ha