[ricegod]

Please, I need advice from rational strangers.

The psychologist doesn't think this is serious because I can still ward off suicidal thoughts. I've tried talking to everyone I know but nobody thinks it's serious. So I'm pretty much on my own.

I used to be okay in high school, graduated valedictorian & got accepted to U of Chicago. I chose to go stay and went to the local private school because they pretty much gave me a full ride, which is probably not a great decision. I burn out slowly in the 1st yr still getting A,Bs but this year has been hell. Got 2 Ds in pre-med classes last semester and withdrew from one which I'm now forced to take again and getting C's in it. It feels painful going to classes and these past days I've been crying 2,3 times a day whenever I think about this crap. It feels I'm one of those dogs in the learned helplessness experiment and whatever I do I get shocked in the end.

At this point I kinda wised up and realize there's no way I'm majoring in Bio or Biochem like the premeds are supposed to. So I'm going to audition next month for the music major because piano lessons've been saving my soul this whole time. My problem is that because I only have 2 more yrs left it'll be just a liberal arts, not performance, not music ed so there's no chance getting a job with it. This makes me scared as hell, like everyday I'm obssesed with the thought of being depressed and homeless.

Should I drop the rest of the premed courses altogether and do this? Or try finish the sequence AND do the music major? What should I do about jobs? At one point I even thought of janitorial jobs or similar things . Like, I just need to make enough money to sustain self, save up for a place, be a hermit, and play music. I guess that'd make me happy. IDK.

To the people who "made it": How do you know what to do with your life?

[badboy yardy]

first off, it's never too late for a person's education and goals.

since i got the impression you are strongly motivated with career, i suggest sticking with general education and sciences. you've already proven that you can get A's and B's in college, and i hope you learned from the mistakes this year and adjust yourself so that you can continue to pass your classes.

it's great that piano has been a savior to you, but it may also become something that you might not expect.

also, since you had such success at high school being VD and such, maybe you didn't see the possibility of setback happening to you. in any case, i can go on and on with generalizations, but i think you'll be fine if you stick with the career oriented plan and get your degree. there's a lot of options after that. i wish you good luck on getting your agenda clear. it's going to be all right.

[Prot]

I'm currently a cell molecular bio major. When I first took bio courses at my uni, I was overwhelmed by the sudden necessity to study. Back in high school, I could slack off and study last minute and get away with a decent grade still. The majority of bio courses are material intensive and require a lot of review and simple pure memorization of details whether it is a multiple choice, short answer, or even essay based exams (I've had them all). The first term I began taking bio major courses such as microbiology, organic chem, I got a D and C+ respectively and didn't fare well in the rest of the courses of that term either (Bs). Then I learned how to restructure my time and push myself to study more beforehand and designed questions for myself that would test if I really memorized the material/understood it or just skimmed it. I haven't gotten less than a B+ since then.

I think you're just in the overwhelmed phase. As you have said, coming out as a valedictorian, you feel as if you shouldn't have too much of a problem in college. However, college structure gives a lot of free time (as courses are generally 1 hour on MWF and 1.5 hour on T Thrs) compared to high school hours of 8-3 (totaling 6 hours for 5 days a week & 1 hour lunch) and requires you to fill in the spare time with self control by reviewing every now and then.

If none of what I have said really applied, then perhaps you are taking too huge of a courseload. If that isn't it, then ask yourself, why are you doing so bad in the courses right now? What is it that you don't understand? What is preventing you from pulling As? Don't be afraid to talk to professors, to students who are doing the As. Go to office hours, talk to TAs.

Also, I wouldn't recommend a bio/bio chem/science major for pre med in the first place unless you are seriously interested into the science field. Pre med requirements are 1 year bio 1 year chem 1 year orgo 1 year physics and optional/mandatory at some schools calculus. Aside from those requirements, you can pretty much major in anything you are interested in. The MCATs revolve around those basic prereqs as well so you won't be behind when getting to med school without a science major either because an understanding of those prereqs is much more important than the other courses involved in a science major which cover information for other topics such as researching, ecological sciences, etc.

Anyway, ask yourself this:
1) Do you really desire to get into med school? When I asked myself after the first year of college, after exploring other options, I decided no, I couldn't bare another 4 years of med school ontop of a bachelors 4 years and 3 years residency after that 4 years med school.

2) Explore other options. Even if you are set on attempting med school, it doesn't hurt to explore other possibilities. You can check out USAJOBS.gov for government career paths, or just volunteer/intern at places that you find interesting or would like to know more about.

3) Don't panic about jobs yet. College is where you explore interests. Explore what your school has to offer, research career paths. There should also be a lot of career building events run by the school itself that help you. Majority of jobs don't even require a set bachelors degree.

4) Ask yourself what you are doing wrong in your classes to be getting low grades. Talk to people as I have said previously (Prof, TA, other students).

5) Go to class, pay attention. In atleast half of the classes that I have had, I studied solely on class notes and never had to purchase or read the textbook for the class.

6) Stop stressing out. Worst case scenario, you somehow cannot pass any courses in college and cannot study at all for some strange reason no matter what you do what you try etc. You still have a high school degree, which is already sufficient for a variety of entry level jobs in which you can work your way up purely by job experience. So just relax, your life is not dependent on getting a college degree in the first place. How else would a lot of people survive? Both my parents do not have college degrees and our living conditions are more than satisfactory.

I hope that helps. Remember, we all die one day, there is no need to rush to it with suicide.

[papabear]

Please, I need advice from rational strangers.

The psychologist doesn't think this is serious because I can still ward off suicidal thoughts. I've tried talking to everyone I know but nobody thinks it's serious. So I'm pretty much on my own.

I used to be okay in high school, graduated valedictorian & got accepted to U of Chicago. I chose to go stay and went to the local private school because they pretty much gave me a full ride, which is probably not a great decision. I burn out slowly in the 1st yr still getting A,Bs but this year has been hell. Got 2 Ds in pre-med classes last semester and withdrew from one which I'm now forced to take again and getting C's in it. It feels painful going to classes and these past days I've been crying 2,3 times a day whenever I think about this crap. It feels I'm one of those dogs in the learned helplessness experiment and whatever I do I get shocked in the end.

At this point I kinda wised up and realize there's no way I'm majoring in Bio or Biochem like the premeds are supposed to. So I'm going to audition next month for the music major because piano lessons've been saving my soul this whole time. My problem is that because I only have 2 more yrs left it'll be just a liberal arts, not performance, not music ed so there's no chance getting a job with it. This makes me scared as hell, like everyday I'm obssesed with the thought of being depressed and homeless.

Should I drop the rest of the premed courses altogether and do this? Or try finish the sequence AND do the music major? What should I do about jobs? At one point I even thought of janitorial jobs or similar things . Like, I just need to make enough money to sustain self, save up for a place, be a hermit, and play music. I guess that'd make me happy. IDK.

To the people who "made it": How do you know what to do with your life?

If you are doing bad in premed courses, medicine may not be for you--whether dropping them at this point will save you any money, or help your GPA... but besides looking at your abilities, I'd also consider your motivation. Why do you want to be a doctor? Is it about $? Status? The job itself? Are you willing to put up with the sacrifices that come with it?

Before making a decision about your major, I'd go to the career center and see what sort of jobs you are suitable for -- and then plan accordingly. Are you thinking of getting married? Raising a family? You don't have to be a janitor in order to have enough money, but it will take serious reconsideration as to what you are willing to do (vocational-tech training).

If the economy continues to be bad, I wouldn't recommend a music major, since I don't see how you can support even yourself on it. Better to find some practical skills, and if it is ok for you to stay in college, then you can do music on the side, like a minor. Or maybe a double major if it is feasible.

You need to find the best way out of the higher-ed scam for you.

[Tuffcore]

I had to drop out of university myself and went to a technical school instead.

After finishing tech school, I got into a good industry and with the oil boom of the last few years, i found myself making more money than my university friends who graduated with degrees. Perhaps i'm laughing now and my friends will make up ground in the later years, but having been in the workforce for nearly 10 years now, i have learned that trading your time for money is not going to make you rich no matter what you do for a living anyway.

When you make money from work, you have to save a lump of it. Then invest this lump of money and make it grow. Sure, if you're a doctor or a lawyer, you can conjure up money fast but at the same time, millionaire business investors come out of the most ordinary professionals. Hairstylists open their own salon and hit it big. Skate boarders opens up a successful chain of skate board shops and make huge money. Cooks discover a few good recipes and brand a chain of stores around it. etc etc

I'm not saying don't get a good education but if med school is not for you, then it's not the end of the world. There are still many great opportunities in this world to make a good living. Just be good at what you do. You can still make it.

[my.name.is.nine]

sometimes it takes time for you to finally figure out what you want for yourself in the futures. you just have to take that step in becoming what you wanna be. if it's not meant for you it's not. that's why it's good to have a back up.

[Shinobu]

Back in college days, I had a bunch of friends who switched from pre-med, nursing, electrical engineering to something else. I think they went into English major or something but maybe they ended up doing something else with that major. A contractor who works in the same building said she was majored in English but now she does software support of some sort and makes a lot of money. You'll never know. You don't necessarily have to end up doing something related to your major. Yeah so what if I graduated Valedictorian in HS. I had all kinds of grades in college ranging from A to F (all thanks to my procrastinated lazy self. I cursed myself out a lot after that.) But at any rate life went on. Anyways, maybe you should do something that you feel comfortable with and can earn fairly good after you graduate. What about accounting? They always need accountants do they ? You can work for the IRS.

[ricegod]

Thanks for your advice everyone. I did go see career counselors and academic advisors but none of them are really helpful and in the end I'd end knowing no more than before I came.

Honestly I wanted to go the medical route because of the autonomy, job security, general interest in the subject, and the humanitarian aspect. I guess that's not good enough to be called a passion, like, "OMG I can't wait to go to med school, and be a doctor and cure ppl! " And when ppl mention passion and make me recognize my lack thereof, it makes me feel like I don't deserve to do it. But I think I need to live more before I come across passion or whatever.

I have a back up part time job at the library. It's only 10 hrs a week right now so it's not enough, but there's advancement with a bachelor to 1k/month. Anyways, I decided I really should get this BA degree since my education's all being paid for.

@Shinobu: You're right, but I'm no good at math (urgh, calculus). I'm regretting not getting some kind of certification at tech school while I was in high school (there was a program that allowed kids to get free tuition training). But no, I just had to go and took a bunch of useless AP classes. I wish somebody woulda said to me, do this so you could get a job in the future, instead of fussing over GPA and Ivy leagues.
oh, are you Viet by chance?

[may76]

Hello, It seems you are in the crossroads of your life. As for the advice I can give at first I would like to point out passion to what you are doing but since you already mentioned that this is the least of your concern now, I think the best thing to do is to know what you really want. Do you want a certain profession because of the financial security it could give you or wanted something to do that you are good at. You see all your decisions will depend on your goal. What you can do is to have a goal then after that list down the necessary things to do to achieve it. Example: Your goal in life is to have a profession that will give high income and stability. List it down, then which course to take, then assessing your own ability and capability can you take this course if yes , then take it if not then don't. You see even if you got low grades this doesn't mean you are not cut for that job. There is a person I know that when it's time to chose her profession because she has a lot to consider she made a raffle out of it. Yes, she let her future be decided by this. So she list all the profession she liked and put it to a container after that she got one. Then she went to college and took that course, she had a hard time in school, even in the brink of failing some of her subjects but she perseveres. Now at work she became the youngest supervisor in their department and even achieving more. So you see, sometimes how we do in school doesn't really tells how good we can be. Determination and commitment play an important part in all we do. Hope you find your goal and stick to the road leading to it.

[Shinobu]

@Shinobu: You're right, but I'm no good at math (urgh, calculus). I'm regretting not getting some kind of certification at tech school while I was in high school (there was a program that allowed kids to get free tuition training). But no, I just had to go and took a bunch of useless AP classes. I wish somebody woulda said to me, do this so you could get a job in the future, instead of fussing over GPA and Ivy leagues.
oh, are you Viet by chance?

Yeah I'm Viet. Sorry it had been so long I don't remember the requirement and stuff but you still need to take at least Cal I or II (for basic right?). As I recall, I didn't do very well myself =_=. (I think accounting is a very safe bet. I know some people find stable and good living with it.) For me passion is luxury. I've been out of school for 11 years and I still don't know what my passion is. Then again I'm not really a good role model or anything. Just identify what you're good at or what you feel comfortable at then narrow down which one will earn you jobs and a good/adequate living. Can't ask for too much in this economy.

[ix3katz]

i can only tell you what i think is right....really it comes down to what you want right?

well i think that...you SHOULD keep your pre-med courses. after all, you came so far. don't waste it. but can you do something on the side as well? like you mentioned music... or maybe even some other art?
if not...maybe keep with your med, but don't pressure yourself so much. study with other people, it helps. if you can, take some dance / music classes outside of school for fun?

and lastly... if all else fails, it's NEVER too late. as long as you have the time (and you do! i assume you're still pretty young..not like 90 yrs old o_O), you can always change. you can always finish premed and do something else after. or you can even just...stop. finish this year, then transfer to another school and do something else and start from scratch. my friend's doing that n she's a lot happier right now...
if you really hate med so much, don't continue. med is a life long commitment... you shouldn't continue unless if you put your heart into it..

[ricegod]

I went to the career center again and it was a good 15 min waste of my life. They just basically reiterated everything about taking assessment test and whatnot.

ix3katz: I thought I should finish with my premed classes too--I only have 3 left. Just in case I change my mind and want to go this route later on. But I'll give it like 3 or 4 years. Right now it seems like I'm being pigeon holed--med school or BUST, and that's no good because I keep wondering, what if there IS something else out there? So I feel really trapped=>more resentment toward med school.

Question: can you get a job with humanitarian organizations with a BA degree? I looked around and all I found was Peace Corps but it isn't a permanent job.

[daisy]

If you like medicine, there are a lot of health fields you can go into. Medical school is does not guarantee financial security. The money/tuition is a drain and if you aren't one of the smartest students, you won't get into well paid specialities. You'd end up doing family care and owe a lot of debt. Physician assistant, pharmacy, nursing, PT, dentistry are all great health field options you can consider. They require less education too and usually it's the same old prerequisites. I have an impractical major and I hope to find a job when I graduate. I know how you feel. What do you want to do with a music degree? Teaching? Just making Jingles? Ask yourself that before committing to music.

[Aeroshark2000]

Don't worry too much about your grades. You do need to figure out "how to study" (in my book one of the most important things you can get out of college) and do well in school again (and how to take tests etc..). However, afterwards, figure out your passions. I agree with you (and applaud you for seeing it too) that a career in music is less financially stable, than others.

Definately keep going on your med school pre-reqs (1 year bio, 1 year gchem, 1 year ochem, 1 year phys, 1 year calc), because it does keep the med school door open should you choose to do it (and if you choose to do it 4 years in the future, the life experience will help a LOT and your gpa will matter a lot less). Many of my classmates have still gone onto med schools despite having failed/done poorly in their classes (usually ochem and bio are the killers) because of their experiences.

However, it does sound like you're just doing med school because it is a cookie cutter career, not because you're truly passionate about it. I don't know if that's the best fit. It may be difficult as a pure liberal arts major to obtain a job, but if you're looking into grad school, such as law or business, that could work. Another, more humanitarian program is Teach for America, which is very well respected, and im sure if you just google some more, you will find many many many more programs besides the peace corps. These organizations are always looking for more bodies (although you may not be paid as well). Take classes in whatever you're interested in, or might be interested in.

I will be very honest with you (and potentially expose myself to criticism), but if you choose not to go to med school and graduate with a mcb or biochem BS, chances are job opportunities will be VERY limited. You will most likely have to pursue a phD, or you will be stuck being a lab monkey for a big pharma/biotech company or chemical company, just running experiments over and over and over. Note that you're not doing research, you're running experiments to get data for those phD bosses above you. I've been there and its definately not my thing. So, to me, continuing a biochem/mcb major is almost pigeonholing yourself into a career in medicine, or a lab monkey, which is not something you want to do. Look for careers and courses that are intellectually stimulating and consist of something that you will look forward to doing everyday (if you choose not to pursue the medicine route)

This is a point that almost everyone who did well in high school hits in college where they struggle with their courses (including myself, the first semester of sophomore year). Keep your confidence up, keep your close friends close, and maintain your motivation. I have gotten plenty of C's in my major, and have done very well in obtaining work experience. I then decided I didn't like it, and managed to move into a even more competitive field (even with my crappy gpa).

I did it by maintaining my desire to learn, keeping an upbeat and optimistic outlook on life, and enjoying the little things that happen to me. One trick that worked for me, despite all the mini cooper that I might be going through in a day, a week, or whatever, is to try and do one kind thing for someone else each day (even if it's as simple as letting a car go by first before crosing the street). That way, you still feel good about yourself, knowing you brightened someone elses day.

Btw, I think college counselors are useless. I mean if they were smart and sucessful, they wouldn't be counselors. They don't know anything. My two cents.

Finally, another health related field that often isn't talked about is public health, where you go into public policy on macro-scale health decisions. One of my high school friends is going into it after deciding medicine isn't necessarily what she wanted to do.

finally, as i'm sure you know, but must say again because no one has, suicide is never an answer. Things happen for a reason and I'm sure you'll find your way through this.

sorry for long post. i really feel for you because I know there are a lot of people out there like you just looking for advice, but have no one experienced enough to give it to you. Hope it helps!

[ricegod]

I will be very honest with you (and potentially expose myself to criticism), but if you choose not to go to med school and graduate with a mcb or biochem BS, chances are job opportunities will be VERY limited. You will most likely have to pursue a phD, or you will be stuck being a lab monkey for a big pharma/biotech company or chemical company, just running experiments over and over and over. Note that you're not doing research, you're running experiments to get data for those phD bosses above you. I've been there and its definately not my thing. So, to me, continuing a biochem/mcb major is almost pigeonholing yourself into a career in medicine, or a lab monkey, which is not something you want to do. Look for careers and courses that are intellectually stimulating and consist of something that you will look forward to doing everyday (if you choose not to pursue the medicine route)

I agree with you. Biology majors have very little chances of getting work after graduation. There was this grad Bio student in one of the department sessions who came and talked to my class. And all he does is just running experiements and do labwork all day. All this because he didn't get into med school and couldn't find employment after graduation. Seeing this was the final push to get me to decide on switching major.

To people around me it seems that I'm not thinking rationally. And it might be true that my head is not operating at its peaks because of the mini cooper that's going right now. But I'm going with my gut for once because I don't want my whole life to be just chickening out and going the cookie cutter route.

[Kristy Thomas]

When I was in school, I met so many people who were 5-15 years older than me who decided to change their careers because they always wanted to do something else. Sure yeah there will always be a demand for doctors more than musicians, but what will make you happy in life? I know someone who did medicine and wishes everyday (and I'm sure forever with regret) to what they "really" wanted to do...