[icepak]

Question for the guys:
I dnno if you guys get this, but i get this alot...and i know alot of the guys out there get the same problem as i do
So the problem is this:
Your close friends with a girl, however you like her and when she hears someone saying "do you guys like each other/are you guys dating" and she replies "were just good friends, id never go out with/like him" .
What would you do? would you tell her how you feel or would you just be quiet and be dissapointed inside?

Question for the girls/women, watever you prefer :
If your best friend who is a guy and you knew he liked you, what would you do? like...what goes through your mind when you hear about it?

I dnno but whenever ive liked a chick ive always been there for them, ive let them cry on my shoulder, ive helped them through theyre tough times and given advice to them when they needed it, basically i have always been there (not trying to brag or anything but thats how it is...a bit like ji hoo from boys before flowers don't you think ? i wish i was that awesome.)

However when they know i like them they say they dont want the friendship to break...
Its not like ive liked heaps of girls or anything...but the ones i have liked...the answer is always the same.
Tell me what you think or what you would do.

[ShadowMax76]

..ah..sigh..

i'd be [relatively] happy if she didn't go "EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

ya get?

T _ T i know girls do that for laughs. fun. w/e. but dammit. >_>' that stuff's sharp stuff to the heart.

[Dreamer]

when i know a guy friend likes me, it weirds me out A LOT. i get pretty grossed out actually
why? because he's a good friend. so the thought of him having thoughts of me in a different way creeps me out
i know it's unreasonable but i have a weird fear of being raped/harrassed hahaha even if they're not thinking like that
anyway... you say that this has happened numerous times
sounds like when you first meet a girl, you already establish a friendship
so you gotta fix this problem from the BEGINNING.
do you flirt at all when you first meet girls? and you're interested in them?
you see, the type of relationship you will have with a girl is dependent on the first few meetings
so you show her you're interested in more than a friendship from the beginning. without being creepy. haha

also, let me tell you how a girl begins to see a guy as a friend
when he is nice to her and they get along but there are no sparks or chemistry
hate to sound shallow, but there's gotta be some degree of physical attraction
that probably goes for guys too, right? admit it
but once we girls get to know someone, we're able to find you guys attractive just for your personality
but in order for us to even get interested in you in that way, you can't be just a friend!!
not sure if that made sense... but there you go.

one more thing. don't be like that. don't always be there for her like that.
you're totally putting yourself out there when you do.
that's something you would do IF you were her boyfriend..
you're not obligated to carry out such responsibilities, even if you want to
for what girl wants someone when she's already got him? ....

[icepak]

also, let me tell you how a girl begins to see a guy as a friend
when he is nice to her and they get along but there are no sparks or chemistry
hate to sound shallow, but there's gotta be some degree of physical attraction
that probably goes for guys too, right? admit it
but once we girls get to know someone, we're able to find you guys attractive just for your personality
but in order for us to even get interested in you in that way, you can't be just a friend!!
not sure if that made sense... but there you go.

Well of course physical attraction is there and the girls seem to respond, but after a while it dies down? thats my main problem :S its weird

one more thing. don't be like that. don't always be there for her like that.
you're totally putting yourself out there when you do.
that's something you would do IF you were her boyfriend..
you're not obligated to carry out such responsibilities, even if you want to
for what girl wants someone when she's already got him? ....

Ahh i see, i get what your saying, thx for that, i guess im being a bit too...protective or something like that lol. Thx alot dreamer you helped me out alot ^^

[qquinto]

one more thing. don't be like that. don't always be there for her like that.
you're totally putting yourself out there when you do.
that's something you would do IF you were her boyfriend..
you're not obligated to carry out such responsibilities, even if you want to
for what girl wants someone when she's already got him? ....

i disagree with this. do what you want to do. if you care about her and want to stuff for her, then go for it. what kind of world would this be if we all did things only when we want something back? and you need to put yourself out there if you really want something. even if it doesn't work out, at least she'll always think you're a great guy/remember you fondly.

as for your topic. if you guys have been good friends for awhile and you hang out a lot, but there are no signs of her liking you, then you are probably in the friend zone. maybe it's because of lack of physical attraction, or she already likes someone else, or perhaps she's just not looking for a relationship, whatever. i think it is possible to get out of the friend zone though. i only thought of my best guy friend as only a friend for a whole year and then after spending a really good week with him, it just hit me (all the things he's ever done for me, all the good times we've had) and i finally fell for him.

i think you should just keep doing what you are doing and be a good friend to these girls. one of them might realize their feelings for you someday and if not, at least you'll always have a great friendship with them. important thing is to realize when to move on.

[donporkuloin]

I used to be the kind of guy to keep quiet when this has happened. But these days I open my mouth. I've had to end or cut off friendships, because girls that were my friends chose other guys. At the end of the day for them it didn't workout with those guys, and a few still wanted to be friends. But I rejected their offer for friendship, because in most cases I felt it was not sincere.

[her_heart]

once you become a friend...you usually stay in that zone unless there were little crushes in btw.

[Lie]

i disagree with this. do what you want to do. if you care about her and want to stuff for her, then go for it. what kind of world would this be if we all did things only when we want something back? and you need to put yourself out there if you really want something. even if it doesn't work out, at least she'll always think you're a great guy/remember you fondly.

as for your topic. if you guys have been good friends for awhile and you hang out a lot, but there are no signs of her liking you, then you are probably in the friend zone. maybe it's because of lack of physical attraction, or she already likes someone else, or perhaps she's just not looking for a relationship, whatever. i think it is possible to get out of the friend zone though. i only thought of my best guy friend as only a friend for a whole year and then after spending a really good week with him, it just hit me (all the things he's ever done for me, all the good times we've had) and i finally fell for him.

i think you should just keep doing what you are doing and be a good friend to these girls. one of them might realize their feelings for you someday and if not, at least you'll always have a great friendship with them. important thing is to realize when to move on.

Hmmm I dunno. It's very, very rarely that I see a guy going from the "shoulder to cry on" to the boyfriend. I just think that with the vast majority of girls, a different dynamic has to be there at the beginning. The guy starts as sort of exciting, attractive, elusive, and gradually becomes (through the relationship) the guy she can count on, who is always there for her, etc. While I agree, a guy shouldn't do something just because he wants something out of it, he should also be upfront about what it is he wants. Easily 7 out of 10 guys who are the shoulder to cry on for a girl (outside of a relationship with her) are so because they want to get close to her, and eventually hope to be with her.

All of this doesn't mean that a guy shouldn't be there for their female friends, but I can't tell you how many times I've encountered friends who say things like, "I was always there for her, I can't believe she could date that jerk!" Just rarely, rarely works for that guy.

[chickpeas]

Your close friends with a girl, however you like her and when she hears someone saying "do you guys like each other/are you guys dating" and she replies "were just good friends, id never go out with/like him" .
What would you do? would you tell her how you feel or would you just be quiet and be dissapointed inside?

If she respond with that statement, I would take it as she's not interested in a romantic relationship. At this point, I think it's best to let your friendship be as they were.

You are of course, free to express your feelings if you wish, just brace yourself if the outcome is not what you want.

If your best friend who is a guy and you knew he liked you, what would you do? like...what goes through your mind when you hear about it?

I assume this is under the condition that I don't return his feelings.

I can't say what would go through my mind as I don't take this type of matter seriously if I'm just hearing it from third parties. But if he happens to bring it up, I would let him know I like things the way they are (which is friendship, hopefully he'll get the hint w/o me stating the obvious). If he doesn't, I wouldn't say anything.

[linuhhparkk]

haha well, i'm a girl.
and i'm kidna in the same boat as you?
except the person i like hasn't really said the whole "i'd never go out with her" thing.
well, to answer your question,
if it was my crush, i'd be going crazy and be super happy. he is a good friend of mine, too.
idk i'd be really happy all day and whatnot. haha.

[YESUNGHWAITING!]

Yeahh, I'm gonna go ahead and say that 50% of the time, if you admit to a girl that you like her and you're good friends, she'll be weirded out.
I know that really sucks, but it's the bitter truth.

Also, if a girl trusts you like that (i.e. cries on your shoulder) that means she trust you because you're her FRIEND and you woudln't take advantage of her in a situation like that.
I'd say, unless she gives you a hint/signal that she's into you as more than a friend, leave it.
Just be happy that you're in her life and that you get to be that close to her.
(:

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

were just good friends, id never go out with/like him

I don't get why you make the word "friends" red. Clearly that is not the most important word here.

I'd definitely ditch her. Waste of time.

[L.FOR.LOVE]

two words that can kill you
" just friends "
haha for me i dont know what i would do

[icepak]

I don't get why you make the word "friends" red. Clearly that is not the most important word here.

I'd definitely ditch her. Waste of time.

two words that can kill you
" just friends "
haha for me i dont know what i would do

wat L for Love said man lol, its the words that can end your life o_O..not really lol. but still it burns me

[rurokenshin]

i think what the people said here are pretty truee..

usually it feels like u guys get to know each other, and if there's attraction (physically/mentally) then u can become
more than friends really fast~
however, if she only sees u as a friend, and u guys are friends for a long time, its unlikely (or really hard) for u guys to develop
into something more than that~

[ajlee613]

i was always on the other side of the situation where a friend liked me but i didnt notice.

but cuz we are friends if anyone asked me i could easily joke and say oh yea we are getting married next month maybe u would like to come to our wedding?

but anyways, i would never notice and the girl would always keep it deep inside. but my friends are real friends if she wanted me to take her out and stuff i'd totaly be cool with it.

how can u love someone as a lover without first accepting them as a friend. the modern idea of a lover or a s.o is so weak and shallow. they come and go so fast and one day ur saying u love them and 2 months later u say u hate them. that was never love to begin with if it ends so fast and turns to hate without any hesitation.

relationships with s.o's last shorter and break easier then friendship. coz most ppl skip over the part of creating a companionship with their lover. this causes drama, cries for attention, and a constant need to be doing somthing or seeing eachother.

a relationship without friendship is a child's infatuation, or just a fling. both are totally ok. im just saying there is far more of a bond that can be created between lovers then just that.

and if friendship blocks someone from seeing someone as a lover... they probably just want the excitment puppy love infatuation curiosity and lust feeling that comes with the first couple months of a relationship....

but for some reason girls in my age group have been sheltered so much in their lives to a point where we do not see the world the same way thus it is hard to create a friendship, or they have seen as much and broke down, got into and stayed into hard drugs, got raped etc. became a real tramp.

maybe when im 30 things will change haha.

[X~Midnight*Snow~X]

well so far the only guy friends who asked me out were this year considering i didn't really have guy friends before high school.. anyways..

i just told them i wasn't ready for a relationship ><" i mean at first i sometimes daydreamed of my days with my future boyfriend but when it was kind of obvious my friend who i only knew for 3 months started liking me i kind of... yeah.. decided to swear off boys until at least junior year @.@ i mean i was so freaked out about it ._. plus the fact that he kept insisting on holding my books, touching me without my permission (just like putting his arms around me), etc. and yeah i HATE those kind of things (mushy, romantic stuff when he's not my bf/i dont like him).. well i didn't like like him so i guess that might be a reason.. but yeah.. it was just extremely uncomfy. and i tried to avoid him as much as possible.. basically after i rejected him i just acted really cold to him (yesh i know i'm a jerk T-T) cuz i had no clue whatsoever how to react =.= and that pretty much ruined our friendship tho it is getting better now..

then again it is my fault for leading him to think that i might actually like him back =/ i told him i didn't like anyone and he went silent (we were iming) and i felt extremely bad so i said nvm i do like someone and yeah...the start of my humongo mistake/disaster T-T!

ehh lol i really added some unecessary details lol xDD

[linny]

If your best friend who is a guy and you knew he liked you, what would you do? like...what goes through your mind when you hear about it?

I usually feel really awkward and either pretend like nothing's changed OR pull away from him. There's a reason why the guy is my best guy friend and not my boyfriend - either the physical attraction/chemistry was never there or he lost his chance long ago.

I've met a LOT of guys who've had similar problems, and the same advice comes up again and again: the moment you think you're interested in a girl romantically, let her know by asking her out on a date. If girls seem interested in you in the beginning, THAT's the time to let her know you return the feeling. If you wait too long, she will assume that you only like her as a friend and move on. And once she moves on, it's almost impossible to get her interested in again.

I know the logic might not really make sense, but asking a girl out within the first few weeks of meeting her is the best way to go. I know it's hard, but you're going to have to suck it up and take the plunge for any real chance of success.

[mizz_J]

I'm the kind of person who laughs a lot when I'm around people i'm really comfortable with. Basically, i laugh at practically everything. It's just a part of me and i can't change it.

Just recently, I'd been hanging out with this somewhat close guy friend of mine. He had a crush on me back in junior or senior year, whenever and he was my prom date. So we hung out cause we haven't do so in a long time. He wanted to shop for a pair of shoes so we went to the mall. So while we were at that athletic store, Champs, we (or more like me) were laughing and stuff, you know, just having fun. He wanted my opinions on whatever shoes he wanted to get and i wasn't really helping much cause I didn't get why he wanted to spend a hundred dollars on a pair of shoes but you know some guys Anyway, so while he was trying on different shoes, i kept laughing and stuff.
Later that night, he called me and asked me, "you know what's really hilarious?" i asked him what and he told me that sale person thought we were a couple and stuff and i was like WHAAA?? Cause later that evening, he went back to the store cause he had to exchange his shirts or something and that guy asked him who i was and he told him that i was just a friend. That guy was like, "ohhh..ok i see" and my friend asked him, "why? you think we're dating or something?" and that guy said, "oh. well yea cause you guys were having so much fun and stuff..i thought you guys look cute together." Something along those lines.

Then there's this other incident but i won't get into that cause it'll just make my post longer lol.
but this guy friend and i don't like each other cause he's still in love with his ex and i'm already with someone. But even if i'm not already with someone, i still wouldn't go for him because i just dont see him that way. But when he told me about those stuff, i was like, "are you serious?" He even asked me to go back to that athletic store to ask the guy if he really did say that

I have a few close guy friends and it would feel awkward if i knew they likes me. One of my close guy friend and i had a thing for each other back in the days but that's all over and he's one of my closest guy friend.

But like i said, AWKWARD...

[Storm121693]

well i'm a girl, if you like a friend and they give that response, it means that they really want to keep the friendship going. they probably feel insecure about if the relationship doesn't work out then maybe things won't return the way it used to be. though i think if a guy friend liked me it'd be kind of sweet because i'm far from perfect and it makes me think that maybe i can be myself without having to hide all the flaws.