[JeSuisMoi]

What do you guys think? Or has it happened to you? If it has happened to you, how long were you guys friends for before you began dating your SO? And when I say "friend", I don't mean simply acquaintances, I mean being good, close friends.

Everyone knows and dreads the infamous "friend zone"; since there is such a "zone", then do you think it's possible to get out of the zone?

I'm curious because I personally have not heard/witnessed any real life stories/instances about couples who were friends for a long time first and then dated a couple of years down the road. I want to be a believer but its hard since I don't know if it's actually possible!

So share your stories if it's happened! Or tell me what you think on the topic; is it possible to date after being good friends for a really long time?

Disclaimer: I've done a search regarding this topic, but I didn't find any similar threads, although, there is always a chance that I may've missed it since I do just skim, so mods if there is a similar post, please feel free to delete. Otherwise, POST AWAY GUYS!

[C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]]]

honestly for me it hasn't happened.
this is the way i am with guys:

there are two zones, the friend zone and the potential boyfriend zone.
when i meet a guy, within a short amount of time (a week or so) i've already placed him in one of the two zones.

if he is in the friend zone, he will forever be in the friend zone.
i have never had a best guyfriend become a boyfriend.

if he's in the potential boyfriend zone, he will stay in that zone for quite some time.
but if i see that it's not going to hang out, he goes into the friend zone.
and once he's in there, it becomes quite hard for him to come out.

but this is just how i am x]

[flyaway]

i find the best relationships are the ones in which we were already comfortable with each other

What do you guys think? Or has it happened to you? If it has happened to you, how long were you guys friends for before you began dating your SO? And when I say "friend", I don't mean simply acquaintances, I mean being good, close friends.
yeah it's happened to me. my first bf...we were "best friends" for 6 months before, but there was always something there...


Everyone knows and dreads the infamous "friend zone"; since there is such a "zone", then do you think it's possible to get out of the zone?
I think it depends. I think feelings towards a person can change...for example at first you may not see them in that way but eventually it might grow into something. on the other hand you may have a crush on them at first but as you get to know them better it becomes platonic. so yeah it's definitely not just black and white


I'm curious because I personally have not heard/witnessed any real life stories/instances about couples who were friends for a long time first and then dated a couple of years down the road. I want to be a believer but its hard since I don't know if it's actually possible!
Well I don't know if 6 months is considered a "long time" (to be friends) but we ended up dating 2.5 years


So share your stories if it's happened! Or tell me what you think on the topic; is it possible to date after being good friends for a really long time?
It was the most amazing relationship. I was so in love with him, but it ended really badly and we only talk once in a blue moon now. makes me sad to think back about it and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get over him I've dated/tried to date some guys but it's just never the same. Kinda sucks

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

The only way to get out of the friend zone is obviously to break off the friendship first.

[nubbie]

Isn't that how its supposed to work? Friends and then GF/BF?

Think of it like this...you have to get to know someone first before you start liking them. During the time you guys are getting to know each other, you guys are friends, amirite? Then you guys become bf/gf if you guys like each other mutually.

You don't walk up to some random person on the street and be like "lets be bf/gf" and then become friends as you go along.



For me, i met my bf and didn't have any intentions of being his gf because he had a gf wen we met. Then they broke up. When they broke up, we had gotten to know each other pretty well at that point. Then it turned into like. Then it turned into a relationship. And as the relationship continued, he was not only my bf but he also became my best friend.

[ShadowMax76]

@ 한스 ㅋㅋ interesting.

chris rock [bigger liar]: "A woman will know if they're going to john tesh a guy in the first five minutes of meeting them"

[kawaiichik]

I'd never date someone i don't know well enough to call a friend.
it's almost like diving headfirst into water when you're unsure of it's depth.
it saves a hell lot more of time and heartache if you get to know you're potential 'boyfriend/girlfriend' first

I guess you could take it as a firm foundation to build a special relationship on.
This keeps you strong as a couple and makes you more caring toward each other in a genuine way when you first begin to date properly.

Dating can feel very artificial, as well as nerve wracking, if you don't already know and like the other person yet. It can lead to all sorts of insecurities and unnecessary worries. But when you are friends already, becoming more can feel like a natural progression, rather than a desperate attempt to find something that may not be there.

The ability to keep your friendship is the one that will help you keep it going through the hard times which all couples will have to eventually experience.

tina`

[chilovesjj]

It's never happened for me ^^ I was friends with my s/o for a few months before we got together, but he was never in the 'friend zone', I always liked him and was attracted to him xD (I think he saw me as just a friend initially though, and the feelings developed a bit later for him) We just spent time getting closer as friends, getting to know each other before we started properly dating. We're still together and engaged You need to really connect as friends, as kawaiichik says, because it's that closeness that will get you through the hard times, and not a physical attraction/sexual connection xD Ideally you need both ^^

I think it's rarer for 2 people to be platonic friends and then for BOTH of them to simultaneously decide 'actually I feel really attracted to you' and start dating. For me, once someone's in the friend zone, they're pretty much stuck there xD I've had male friends for years who I get on great with but I have never thought about them in a romantic way, even though some of them liked me in that way. If there's nothing there, there's nothing there. End of story. Lol. Some guys seemed to think that I should try and FORCE myself to feel something for them, that I was somehow being UNFAIR to them by not returning the feelings. I think that's kinda pathetic, really. If you can't stand being 'just friends' with me, then don't be friends. Don't try and make me feel guilty for not wanting to be with you. Aish. Anyway. Rambling

Some of my (female) friends have started dating someone who'd been in the friendzone for a while, mostly because people kept saying crap like 'ohh but you'd make such a cute couple'. And then it falls apart within a few months because that 'spark' just isn't there. I never did understand people who dated guys they didn't really feel attracted to, just because other people told them to. o.o Moving on~

My parents grew up together in the same group of friends, since they all went to the same church. So they were friends for a few years and then my dad sent my mum a really cute valentines card with loads of little poems inside it and they've been together since their teens (still happily married) so I guess it can work sometimes Depends on the person. ^^

[mistahbang]

i recommend the movie "When Harry Met Sally" for this predicament

[faraway.reminiscence]

It's how it happened for me.
My (current) boyfriend was always a friend to me, and I was a friend to him.
But later on we realized that feelings had started to develop,
and he ended up confessing first.

So it's possible.
Because normally for me, I view my close guy friends as just that - FRIENDS.
But he was an exception. xD

[angela907]

YES IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME !
AND WE ARE STILL GOING OUT =]
OUR 8TH MONTH IS COMING UP IN JUSS FEW DAYS.

I THINK WE HAVE ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING COUPLE STORY HAHA :]

READ ALONG IF YOU WANT TO HEAR AN AWESOME STORY :

P.S: THIS IS WHY WE BELIEVE IN "LOVE IS BLIND"

I HAVE FIRST MET HIM<3 AT 8TH GRADE ( NOW IM A 12TH GRADER).
I BARELY KNEW HIM AND I MET HIM THROUGH A FRIEND .
THEREE WERE 3 GUYS AND 3 GIRLS , AND ONE OF THEM WAS HIM , AND ONE OF THE GIRLS WAS ME .
ANYWAYS WE WERE PLAYING SPIN THE BOTTLE XP. ( DONT WORRY , SINCE WE WERE YOUNG , WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING SEXUAL " XP)
I WAS SO SHY BACK DEN AT 8TH GRADE. SO I DIDNT EVEN TALK TO HIM AND I DIDNT FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE COMPARING WITH THOSE OTHER TWO GUYS HEH. AND VICE VERSA WIT HIM TOO. I WAS PRETTY UGLY BACK DEN XP

ANYWHOOS AFTER A FEW MONTHS, I WENT OUT WITH HIS FRIEND ( I DIDNT KNO THEY WERE BOTH FRIENDS).
I HATED HIM<3 AFTER I BROKE UP WITH HIS FRIEND ( WE WENT OUT FOR 4 MONTHS), BECAUSE HIS GUY FRIENDS AND HIM<3 WERE TRYING TO BOTHER MY BEST GIRL FRIEND AND ME . ONE FRIEND OF HIS EVEN BB GUNNED MY BEST GIRL FRIEND'S BROTHER'S CAR WINDOW AND BROKE IT =_=;;;.

SO ANYWAY DURING THAT TIME I DISLIKED HIM BUT MY BEST GIRL FRIEND ( HER NAMES JOAL) , STARTED TALKING TO HIM<3 AND I STARTED TO KNOW HIM MORE, AND WE BECAME FRIENDS.

IN 9TH GRADE, WE WENT OUT ( YEP WE WENT OUT IN THE BEGINNING BUT ONLY FOR LIKE 3 WEEKS) , BUT IT TURNED OUT BAD. HE DIDNT REALLY LIKE ME AND I WAS THE SAME WITH HIM TOO . SO ON VALENTINES, HE BROUGHT HIS FRIEND OVER WITH HIM TO MY HOUSE . AND INSTEAD OF HIM<3, GIVING ME A VALENTINE GIFT, HIS FRIEND THAT I BARELY KNEW GAVE ME ONE INSTEAD. I KNEW BY THEN THAT HE WAS GIVING ME A SIGN TO BREAK UP WIT HIM SO I DID.

BUT AFTER WE BROKE UP, WE STARTED TO CHITCHAT ON AIM & I WAS STILL HIS FRIEND .

DURING 10TH GRADE, WE WERE THE BEST HOMIES EVER. I CONSIDERED HIM TEH BEST GUY FRIEND I EVER HAD. WHEN HE TOLD ME HE WAS GOING TO MOVE TO CHINA, I WAS BAWLING. I DIDNT WANT HIM TO LEAVE AND THE DAY CAME WEN HE HAD TO BUT IT WAS ALL A PRANK HIS PARENTS DID TO SCOLD HIM HAHA. SO I WAS LIKE SO HAPPY =] HEHE.

SO DURING 10TH - 11TH GRADE? HE WENT OUT WITH MY BEST GIRLFRIEND, JOAL . AND DEY WENT OUT FOR A MONTH BUT IT DIDNT WORK OUT CAUSE JOAL WAS LIKING SOMEONE ELSE. I TOLD HIM<3 AND HE BROKE IT UP. HE WAS PRETTY SAD / EMO DURING THE MONTHS. MY OTHER GUY FRIEND , MARIO, WAS BEING EMO OVER HIS EX TOO. SO I COULDNT TAKE IT! AND I PUT THE SONG "GET OVER IT - OK GO" ON MY MYSPACE HAHA.

SO FINALLY HE STOPPED THAT EMO STAGE.
AND DURING THE SUMMER OF 11TH GRADE GOING TO 12TH GRADE , WE WERE STILL GOOD HOMIES BUT WE STARTED TO FEEL SOMETHING FOR EACH OTHER. I DIDNT GET IT AND I DIDNT KNOW UNTIL I REALIZED THAT HE WAS REALLLY CUTE<3 . AND I TOLD MY GIRL FRIEND , DEBBIE, THAT IF SHE THINKS HE'S CUTE. AND DEBBIE WAS ALL LIKE OMG U LIKE HIM!! OMG ANGELA GO OUT WIT HIM!! U GUYS ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER!


AND IM JUSS LIKE UHHH IONO. SO WE BOTH LIKED EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME AND I GOT THIS LOVEYDOVEY FEELING FOR HIM .

SO I TEXTED HIM WHILE HE& I WAS AT SCHOOL ( WE GO TO DIFF. SCHOOLS), I ASKED HIM IF I COULD MAKE OUT WITH HIM AND HE SAID SURE.

SO WE BOTH MET AND WE HUNG OUT AND MADE OUT HEHE XP . AND WE BOTH CONFESSED TO EACH OTHER. WE HAVE THIS SPECIAL TWO WORDS THAT WE BOTH LIKE : WHY NOT? BECAUSE WEN I ASKED HIM IF HE REALLY LIKED ME , HE ANSWERED, WHY NOT? AND WHEN HE ASKED ME OUT , I ANSWERED TO HIM , WHY NOT? XP

SO YUP DATS OUR STORY. OH YEA DURING THE TIME WHEN HE WAS MY BEST GUY FRIEND, WE WOULD CALL EACH OTHER BROTHER AND SISTER. HAHA WE WERE PRETENDING TO BE FAKE BROTHERS AND SISTERS SO WHENEVER I MENTION THAT TO HIM NOW, HES ALL EWW ABOUT IT LOL XP , CAUSE HE FINDS IT WRONG TO CALL ME A SISTA WEN IM HIS GF.

SO WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER AND WE;RE PRETTY HAPPY TOGETHER BUT IM A SENIOR AND IM GOING TO COLLEGE ON SEPTEMBER AND IM GOING TO REALLY MISS HIM.. I HOPE IT STILL WORKS OUT FOR US!

[Uverstar]

I always thought that there was this...bufferzone...like once you become a friend you never had a chance with the girl friend...

i had a friend who we had a strong....friendship for about a year and a half...then mid last year i confessed to her and we were bf/gf until about....early this January but alot of problems happened....she was a year older....tried to control my life....mm..I'll leave it at that lol

and yaaaay happy 8month anniversary to angela907...when it happens

I dunno...with my honest opinion.....i guess friends becoming more then friends only happens if there's something...connecting with each other...hanging out with other friends but the two of you are close always....or hanging out just alone being the two of you just out doing fun things....

It's kinda what i'm hoping will happen with the girl i like now.....

[natsurei]

Well this was how me and my boyfriend started, but I guess he approached me as a non-friend, but I put him in the friend-zone.
Actually, I don't know any other way to approach a relationship other than ...this way. Haha.

Me and my boyfriend were REAALLY friends for about 8 months, then we began dating (like ...3 dates?). Haha, then I guess I couldn't keep him in the friend zone anymore, so after the 4 months of dating, we became boyfriend/girlfriend, although we don't have an official day for that just 'cause.

But I guess in my case, it was only me who intended to be friends to begin with(I put him in the friendzone), he definitely had a goal to be my boyfriend(he put me in his gfzone). And the 10 months of being friends seems a little short, but we were really close, we just clicked and he was instantly my best friend.

--
I have another friend though, we've been friends for..7 years? Still REALLY good friends, he's like my guy-buddy. Haha, that is the case of "forever friend zone", I guess he's not my taste, I'm not his and we're way too close to date. And plus he likes our other REALLY close friend(girl). So...in a sense, that's another topic of friends dating. 'Cause they have been friends for 7 years too and they do date secretly, but are not official. But then again, he's liked her from the beginning too.

So I guess intially, a person has a crush first to begin dating. But it is totally possible.

[kimmyb07]

My boyfriend and I were only friends for 3 months before we started dating, but I remember he was in the friend zone at one point. The first week I knew him, I liked him and was interested because we really clicked. After hanging out a few times, I decided that I wasn't interested. I thought he was too nice, too innocent (boy was I wrong), and I for some reason I thought he brought out the maternal side of me. So we were friends instead.

I decided I liked and wanted to date his roommate/friend. However, the roommate went after all the wrong girls and then came to me for help whenever he'd strike out with another girl. This was like every week!!

So I got tired of that... My now boyfriend actually ended up talking to me about it and cheered me up. I also got to know my boyfriend better because at the time one of my really close friends liked him and she asked me to talk to him to find out more about him.

So although I liked his roommate and my friend liked him, I ended up talking to him a lot and got to know him.. And somewhere along the line I realized he's a really good guy, and I started thinking "Why can't I like him" and then.. somehow I realized I did like him. And once I let myself like him (because I felt really guilty since my friend liked him), I really liked him. We clicked really well, and he asked me out one night.

We've been dating almost a year and a half now and still going strong. I love him soo much and I can't imagine why I didn't like him at one point. We're also both still good friends with my friend who liked him and his old roommate. So far so good. So it's possible to get out of friend zone sometimes...

--
On the "friends for years before dating" side, I don't have personal experience with that but more than a few of my friends are dating people that they were friends with for years. So it definitely happens and it's definitely possible

[Emerald Snow]

Uh, Angela, love might be blind, but we're not blind (referring to your all-caps post). Though after going through it, I think I am blind now.

My boyfriend and I were normal classmates at first, so I guess in a way we were friends? I did realize that I liked him almost from the start, so I didn't want to become such good friends with him yet, in case my feelings don't get reciprocated and things get awkward then.

I usually don't like dating good friends, because I do have the two different zones, and once someone's in the friend zone already, he usually doesn't get back out.

[maly&ahpulee]

things didn't turn out so well after being friends for so long. it didn't feel comfortable for me so i ended it. we're still great friends though, which is great!

[LOVE&FREEDOM_beautyofX]

My current boyfriend/fiance .. we were friends for 3 months lol but from the beginning, we were interested in each other, we just didn't want to admit it.. then 3 months later he asks me out & its about 20 months so far... 2 years soon so yeah ~~

[phalken]

I feel like's it's very hard to move out of the friend zone if you're SOLIDLY in it =/ But otherwise, dating someone you know fairly well is safer than dating someone you barely know at all =/

My first boyfriend and I were friends for about half a year before we started going out. But because he was two years ahead in school, we never hung out as much as we did with friends in our own grade. The good part of this was that he wasn't someone who I talked about anything to and vice versa, so there was always some curiosity and distance in the friendship. But at the same time I never felt like the distance was because we didn't get along-- it was just different classes, groups of friends, etc. I think for me that's the ideal way to start a relationship =/

[insanelyCRAZY]

he got everything he asked for.
i was left with absolutely nothing.

i got screwed over.

friends
he crushed on me
i crushed on him
love triangles
we went out
then i finished last.

[cunningham]

delete


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