[iridescent]

I was going to post this in the L&R forum (so if this goes better in the pinned L&R thread here, please close!) but some of my questions are more age-sensitive so I thought it might go better here . I hope it isn't too broad, though...


Maybe this is a more girl-geared question, but how many of you have pictured your wedding before? Is it something you've thought about extensively?

When you think about the future, is it always with a husband/wife and kids?

For those of you who are married already, did you think you were going to get married before you met your wife/husband?

Have you hightailed it out of a relationship after someone brought up something long-term?


If you don't find the idea of marriage appealing, how/why do you date?


(for me, no no no n/a kind of, and I don't date. it's really hard for me to be just friends with the guys I know because they see things differently and want different things)

[questions987]

I was going to post this in the L&R forum (so if this goes better in the pinned L&R thread here, please close!) but some of my questions are more age-sensitive so I thought it might go better here . I hope it isn't too broad, though...


Maybe this is a more girl-geared question, but how many of you have pictured your wedding before? Is it something you've thought about extensively?

When you think about the future, is it always with a husband/wife and kids?

For those of you who are married already, did you think you were going to get married before you met your wife/husband?

Have you hightailed it out of a relationship after someone brought up something long-term?


If you don't find the idea of marriage appealing, how/why do you date?


(for me, no no no n/a kind of, and I don't date. it's really hard for me to be just friends with the guys I know because they see things differently and want different things)

yes. i was engaged so I had a planned wedding.

not anymore. I actually dont see beyond the near future at this point.

n/a

Yes, recent relationships end with the discussion of kids.

dont date. thank god.

[gummybummy]

I never had the fantasy of a big wedding and all that comes with it, honestly, I am in my mid-twenties and I am no where near of thinking about marriage, I just feel like there is so much I need to do before I settle down. Mentally I am not mature enough to even think about it, I think I am to selfish at the moment, because I am focusing more on my carrier and getting my own apartment and travel the world. It freaks me out that some of my friends are getting married now

[Meenuh]

Maybe this is a more girl-geared question, but how many of you have pictured your wedding before? Is it something you've thought about extensively?

Uh I haven't really though of how my wedding would look like. Lol. So no. I don't think about it extensively except maybe when I see a wedding dress i'm like "oh that's pretty" or "no.. that's not the dress i'd wear on my wedding day". Lol.

When you think about the future, is it always with a husband/wife and kids?

No.. not about kids but I guess a husband.

For those of you who are married already, did you think you were going to get married before you met your wife/husband?

Not married.

Have you hightailed it out of a relationship after someone brought up something long-term?

Nope. I'm only up for long term relationships. I don't think too much about the "what if I hadn't dated this guy and ended up with someone else" or "what if there's another guy out there that's even better?" I know what's for me and I know what's not. What is the point in being indecisive and breaking up with someone that is already awesome to try and find something better? I'm in it for the long run. As long as you love me & I love you that's all we need. Anything else can be fixed or solved.


If you don't find the idea of marriage appealing, how/why do you date?

I kind of wondered about this aside from the fact that people may do it for fun or to not be lonely but yeah. I always though that people dated so they could find the one they wanted to marry but I dunno.. these days it seems like a lot of people are geared away towards marraige and they're all for being independent and different.

[emma007]

I want to get married! My sister is engaged and planning her wedding right now, so it is on my mind more than normal. I always think about my future as being married with children. I love children and look at them as such blessings. At this time in my life I see no point in dating just to date. I date so that I can find my future husband. Although according to some comments on another thread, since I am old fashioned and expect the guy to pay for dates, I will never get married or find anyone who would want to be with me....hahaha. It will all happen in God’s timing.

[mekka]

NO! NO! Marriage is not what it use to be, much rather stay single... I find men only want to get married for someone to take care of their parents and to procreate. Well, I will take care of my parents no one elses. That may sound selfish, but my parents comes FIRST!!! I have seem too many suffering of my friends in marriages that should never have taken place. ALL YOU LADIES WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED! I BOW TO YOU.....

[cutegit]

when i was younger, i always thought of my future as having a husband and kids BUT
as i grew older (still not old, i'm only in my early 20's), my view changed
as of now, i dont really think about marriage.. for some reason, i actually became scared of marriage... of course i'd love to find that perfect someone whom I would want to spend my life with but i have this fear of being left by my husband. what if he wasnt the right one for me and we weren't meant to be (even though i dont believe in divorce).

and i just dont like the idea of walking in the middle of the aisle while everyone's looking and everyone's attention is on you because it's your special day @.@

maybe my views will change when i get older and finally have that special someone... hmmmm? XD

[iridescent]

Thanks for the replies guys!

Anything else can be fixed or solved.

That's really nice. (I don't mean that as a pat on the head or anything; it really and truly does sound nice.)

these days it seems like a lot of people are geared away towards marraige and they're all for being independent and different.

Well I promised my dad when I was seven that I would never get married so it doesn't seem to be so much of a gear as it does to be a predisposition, lol

I want to get married! My sister is engaged and planning her wedding right now, so it is on my mind more than normal. I always think about my future as being married with children. I love children and look at them as such blessings. At this time in my life I see no point in dating just to date. I date so that I can find my future husband. Although according to some comments on another thread, since I am old fashioned and expect the guy to pay for dates, I will never get married or find anyone who would want to be with me....hahaha. It will all happen in God’s timing.

Aww I hope you have even more fun when it's time for your wedding


Interesting, I wonder whether this "marriage? nahh" is more representative of soompi's (large but not in the grand scheme of things) population or... actually, yeah, it does seem to be about right for the rest of our age group. But I do wonder how others still date. I hightail after even one conversation because it starts to get too sticky for me.

[loveartiste]

when i was in a long relationship, yea, i thought about it.
maybe its bad to give yourself false hope, or maybe not.
thinking about the future can be a happy experience for people.
but thinking about marriage after a break-up ain't so clear now. XD
but i can't even think about it cause i gotta get myself together
like finishing school & starting a career.
i date to find/have someone who will be able to satisfy me
mentally & physically. [of course more mentally]
marriage is a very serious topic to me, nowadays the divorce
rates are so high, but that wouldn't stop me from marrying. ya know?

ok i just blabbed like no other.
have a nice day

[jshat4]

Maybe this is a more girl-geared question, but how many of you have pictured your wedding before? Is it something you've thought about extensively?

-not actively pictured it or anything, but yes I have thought about it

When you think about the future, is it always with a husband/wife and kids?

-husband yes, kids, maybe? not so much the kids, but I would like at least 1

If you don't find the idea of marriage appealing, how/why do you date?

It's not so much it's appealing, it just seems more practical, and I don't want to linger around in non-commitment relationships all my life.

[sushiwhore]

i havnet extensively planned my wedding i havent even have the slightest clue how it will be like =( i just know it'll be with t aman i love <3

and he'll love me just as much and out guests that will come will be to celebrate our love together =D

[mekka]

Maybe this is a more girl-geared question, but how many of you have pictured your wedding before? Is it something you've thought about extensively?

-not actively pictured it or anything, but yes I have thought about it

When you think about the future, is it always with a husband/wife and kids?

-husband yes, kids, maybe? not so much the kids, but I would like at least 1

If you don't find the idea of marriage appealing, how/why do you date?

It's not so much it's appealing, it just seems more practical, and I don't want to linger around in non-commitment relationships all my life.

"If you don't find the idea of marriage appealing, how/why do you date?"

I date men who has my same beliefs, it has been a lasting one.

[NO-1]

I'm already married (9 months now) and I always wanted to get married. But I never actually dreamed about my wedding and what it would be like, what I would want, etc. I only dreamt about the person and who I would like him to be and I wanted to date towards marriage, never just a fling.
So now I'm married to my first boyfriend and I can't wait to have kids! It'll be a few years for us to settle down to the new place we're moving but I am definitely planning on having kids (at least 3?).
(I am 21 by the way. Married at 20).

[azzer]

I want to get married but don't necessarily want children (would depend, I guess). To me, marriage is quite far in the future (at least 5+ years) so I haven't thought much further than that. I haven't even thought about the kind of wedding I'd want.

[Fuznut88]

I'm already married (9 months now) and I always wanted to get married. But I never actually dreamed about my wedding and what it would be like, what I would want, etc. I only dreamt about the person and who I would like him to be and I wanted to date towards marriage, never just a fling.
So now I'm married to my first boyfriend and I can't wait to have kids! It'll be a few years for us to settle down to the new place we're moving but I am definitely planning on having kids (at least 3?).
(I am 21 by the way. Married at 20).

We need more people like you!!! I wouldn't want to grow old and be alone and wonder why don't i have any grandchildren to visit me!!!

[Tuffcore]

I plan to get married and start a family some day but thoughts of having a wedding scares the crap out of me. Especially a big wedding.

My dream wedding consists of me, her, two witnesses, parents don't even need to be there, and sign papers.
Just get it over with so we can get on with the good stuff.

[iridescent]

^ I get that completely -- and especially financially, it seems like a waste -- but I wonder, whether you would still be okay with not having a wedding if there really was that perfect-for-you person you wanted to get married to.

Like I really have never sat around and pictured a wedding. (Except I once thought a beach wedding would be so lovely, only to realize sand would kill a wedding dress and anyone's heels) but what sushiwhore said is so nice, the thought of everyone celebrating your love, and all.

I think everyone should have a wedding, just not me .

[sweetboz]

I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids. But I thought I would get married after college. However, while I was living in Korea I met my husband and we decided to marry without all the glitz and glamour. It was myself and him in the US Embassy. My husband is 24, he completed his miltary service, and he is still a student.......which means he has no money. And I'm working full time, studying part time, which means I have money for us to live happily and comfortable...but I def. don't have cash to have a wedding. So there wasn't one. Immigration is kind of expensive so I'll use that for his visa. Another reason not to have a wedding, we are going to move back to the US. International marriage is a huge task, but when I think of him I would do it 3 more times~

[jesus.shuttlesworth]

Maybe this is a more girl-geared question, but how many of you have pictured your wedding before? Is it something you've thought about extensively?

beach wedding, small and not too expensive, i'm more concerned about the girl i'm marrying


When you think about the future, is it always with a husband/wife and kids?

at least one kid, hopefully i can afford two


If you don't find the idea of marriage appealing, how/why do you date?


b/c having someone is never a bad thing

[Gofishus]

I'm not interested in getting married anytime soon. I don't like the thought of having kids, and I don't like the thought of paying a price (wedding, etc) to be living with someone. If I wanted to live with someone, I'd want it to be common-law instead of a proper marriage.
Why/How do I date? Simple, I don't. =)