[mistahbang]

oops forgot to delete this

[junsujunsu]

WOW.....i can't read this, but i like ur writing structure xD


edit....wow i actually read it....uhm, u really like her but i don't think you should dwell, as the chinese saying goes, "You can't give up a whole forest for one tree."...she doesn't seem that into you if she can leave you because of what her friends say (wth did u do to her friends anyway?...) and to like another guy after you...smoking and drinking for her is kinda OD....i hope by "experimenting" you didn't mean with drugs. I don't know, it's good to be a loyal guy and not like many others who cheat, but, don't beat yourself up besides it's not even like you guys were going out. ...i dunno hope you the best of luck? AND there are better things in life to be concerned with then guy/girl friend relationships

[Soshii_love]

sorry to hear but, after reading your story i personally believe that towards the beginning to middle it seems like she is playing with your feelings and physical self.
maybe she did have feelings for you, but it wasn't deep enough as your love to her. i think you should just move on.. i mean like she isn't the only girl in the world for you to love and loves you. Although you might not find the right one now, but com' on you still have a lot of years left to find the perfect one.

*bytheway; girls hate guys that lies to them especially when it comes to promising each other stuff, if you know you can't do it, why the h--l do you even promise her it?
know this by my own experience.

AND!

[nhii]

You should turn this into a fanfic. Seriously.

[joie.de.vivre]

so, i read through the whole thing, and, wow, you really have a roller-coaster sort of love story right there.
you can't seem to stop thinking or forget about her, because she was your first love..but, i agree with the person who posted before me that she was toying with your feelings for her a bit. so, yea, i guess all you can do is try to move on ? there are a lot more girls at college. ~best of luck !~

[nubbie]

lol i can't tell if this is for real or not but good read anyway. Lol

[MNLV27]

You should just move on, quit the things that are not benefiting your life like smoking, hooking up, and experimenting and get on track with things you must do like get college done and over with. She may be your first love but sometimes first loves are just not meant to be, what's happened between you two will always remain in the past and just leave it at that, throughout high school she's showed you that she wasn't committed enough to be with you, she was weak to give in her friends advise so what makes you think both you will have a chance in the future? Someday the right girl will enter your life, she may not be like your first love but her love for you will obviously be more than your first love, you'll experience giving love AND receiving love. For now just get your priorities straighten out first and someday without knowing it, the right girl will magically enter your life and make it all worthwhile.

[Dreamer]

sounds to me like she definitely likes you, but not enough to want to be with you. and it seems like she knows you haven't moved on and is using it to her advantage.. kinda toying with your emotions.

it's okay to think about her since she was your first love. but who's to say there aren't other girls out there? of course it's normal to compare all of them to her. but you're not looking because you're looking only at her. my advice, just let her fall off the map for now. sit back and let things happen on their own.

[mz_imperfect]

I getchu, first love stuff, but grow up.

The one that got away. We always have our first loves, but what blinds us from moving forward is our inability to realize that there are billions of people in the world and others to connect with. If fate allows it, she will enter your life again at the right time. Right now, it just seems forced. Like you're getting sucked back in again and again. Everyone acts immature and what not in high school, but it just seems to me that you never learn and that you've been hurt too many times that you don't feel like it matters anymore? Obviously you're still feeling the effects of how she hurt you and you're not over it, but I just don't feel like you're picking yourself back up. If you really wanted her, you'd do something about your life and tried. You settle because you're hurt, I get it. But that's what prevents us from ever bettering ourselves--settling. I'm not saying go and turn into her Romeo, but jeez, you're not over it. You're still sulking and she's still on your mind. You're not gonna move on with how you're going in my opinion. You either need to pick yourself up and make something out of yourself or remain in this slump and mope around, waiting for the next opportunity she'll enter your mind again.

Besides... it was high school. You're what? In your 20s or something? You have the rest of your life ahead of you.

Gah, sorry I'm just feeling really biased at the moment, especially with your "I'm drunk so I'm going to post this" which is IMO again is an excuse for you to have a reason to talk about her because if you WERE entirely sober, then you'd realize how entirely not over this situation you are. Sorry for the harsh words, but grow up and move on kid. There are other people out there that will not "toy with your emotions" like everyone says, but you need to take that step and find that out yourself instead of sinking back into this hole of self pity.