[yuan]

I was really worried about my mother she thought of suicide and cried like it's the end of the world. I talked her out of it but it's even worse now she's talking about killing the women my father had an affair with. Then she's going to learn how to use a gun??!!
I am not shocked by this reaction but I know it may happen if my mother caught my father with that women again. I can't help but think I should go and kill that women myself because my father is so into her that he bought her houses and cars wasted a lot of money on this stupid women.

I don't want my mother to hurt anyone I think she has nothing to do with it, I think I am the one at fault. Why have I not known about it even when my father is acting suspicious many times I've broken the promise to keep an eye on dad that I have made before. This is all because of my stupidity that I let this go out of my sight for 2 years two years. It is rediculous I wanted so much to kill that women because I don't want my mum to be misery anymore but if I did that I would make her sad too. I have the women's phone number I wanted so much to call and shout at that women but if it wasn't my dad who tried to contact her nothing would have happened.

That cruel women even threatens to kill herself, it such a nasty thing she does how can she when she knows that my dad had a family. She was a person my father's friend introduce for my father and I wanted to punch my father's friend so much. He's already dead I could do nothing about it now I even want to hit my dad but I can't he's still my father so I planed to put all my anger on that women.
I don't know what I should do I should go and hit her or something I couldn't stand all this tension and pressure.
What should I do??? I really don't know what I should do I want my mother to smile again.

[Painterlyy]

First of all. It really isn't your fault. Don't blame it on yourself. Honestly, if that happened to me, I wouldn't be afraid to tell my dad that I never want to see him again. He obviously doesn't feel that guilty about it. As for that woman. She's an idiot. A worthless home wrecker. Don't waste your breath on her. She isn't worth it.

I hope you and your mother can make it through this together <3

[kellyalster]

Oh gosh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Don't blame yourself. Just concentrate on consoling your mother. Be more attentive to her. Take her out sometime. If she talks about suicide or murder, just remind her about how much you need her too and that you'll never leave her behind like your father did.

I wouldn't seek vengeance on anyone. Don't waste the time that could be spent helping your mother. I wish you the very best.

[SUPERd.]

Hey.
im in a similar situation as you.
but i think that its not really your fault. its your fathers.
dont do anything stupid like kill someone.
get your parents to have a talk with you there or get a counciler for your parents to work it out.
but i think you may have to be prepared for a divorce, if you really want your mother to smile again,
unless your father really changes.

[metallicbunny]

what i would do, if i was in your situation, is ask for my dad to leave the house (or me and my mom should leave the house if my dad owns the house) because what he did was betrayal. a lot of kids go thru this kind of thing but if we are talking about killing people, then i would get away from the whole thing ASAP, and probably talk about it when everyone cools down because no matter what ever someone does, i dont think anyone has the right to take someone else's life unless they killed someone already.

also, ive been noticing that whenever something like this happens, its always the girl that gets the blame, not the guy, which is wrong because they are both at fault.

i would think over if ur dad really loved u guys because it sounds like he really does love the girl (buying her houses and cars?! thats croses the line lol) if i were in ur situation, i would tell my mom to get a divorce and get away from dad asap

[小甜密]

Revenge don't make things better. It's best for your mom and you to leave him altogether. Your mom is at a very vulnerable stage, have her talk to her closest friends.

[Kanhlaya]

I think your emotions is getting in the way of your logic. You have nothing to do with the problem, it is your mother and father's problem and quite frankly, children should not get involve. Because look, you are already blaming yourself and you did nothing to allow your dad to cheat. It was his choice. You need to let your parent take care of their problem, but you also have to understand that people are not perfect.

The last thing you want to do is get caught between and carry the weight, and you don't deserve that. I know what it is like, because my mother cheated on my father and now they are divorced.

[littleangel19]

I think that women needs to go to hell, the one that is ruining your family like this. Also if I were you, I would of given up on my father, and just take care of my mother. Then I would also go and yell at that women, and just ban my father from the family. Either way, please just do whatever you feel , that would make you feel better. Because something like this , is just plain stupid. Stupid horrible women who ruins family, and stupid guys who goes into it. Blame both women and your father. You and your mother did nothing wrong, it was just them.

[KareBear]

First of all, don't blame yourself. You're not the one who pushed your father to that women and be like "go on dad, go have an affair and I'll try to make sure mom doesn't find out" don't be so hard on yourself.
Second of all, revenge/violence isn't the answer. As much as you like to beat some sense into your father and that women they probably wouldn't give a crap about what you have to say. What your father does is out of your control. Threatening and screaming at the women wouldn't make the situation any better. It'll relief your anger- but honestly the situation wouldn't change. The worst thing that will happen is your father will go to the other women because you upset her.
The only thing you can do right now is to be there for your mother. She's going through a rough time now and you gotta be there for her. Let her know that you are still there for her.

[Storm121693]

does your dad know that your mom tried to hurt herself and thinking about suicide??? if he was my dad and he does this i wouldn't be afraid to cuss him out about this. it's not your fault but it's your dad's fault. ask him if he knows that HE is the one that is ruining your family. don't be afraid to tell him what you think and the woman COULD POSSIBLY be using your dad for money since he seems to be buying her lots of things.

[chrissatinee]

Wow, this sounds a little bit like my parents. It was about 5 years ago, when I was the one who found out that my dad had another women. I had to tell my mom about it, and then after she found out, I could tell she was so depressed most of the time. My dad knows that my mom knows about that women already, and so does my sister and I, but yet he kepted going out to see her.

A lot of times, during family days, he would ditch us to go be with her thinking we won't know. And I still remember it was my mom's birthday, as a family, we all went out to eat, then after eating, my dad left to go to somewhere and didn't come back the whole night. Another time was during Christmas, being a noisy person that I am, I decided to look through his phone, I saw a picture that was taken on Christmas with that other women.

Honestly, there is nothing that children can do about it.
Since I was the one who told my mom about the other women, all my dad did was hit me because I told my mom. I think it's better if you shouldn't butt into their business.

And a year or two after that, that lady and my dad broke up.. so yeah, maybe that other women and your dad will break up, so in the mean time, all you can do is support your mom.

Good Luck =)

[shhmaiim.]

again, i'm in a similar situation.
except the woman involved lives next door >.>
and she used to be best friend with my mum.


firstly, it's not your fault at all.
support your mother through it,
but don't get too tied up.
(i did, now it's horrible x_x )
remember it's not your problem when things get tough,
and tell some trustworthy friends who can support you.
and maybe dissuade your mum from killing someone.
violence is not the answer inn these cases.

[loverlyxcth]

Everyone's already giving you tons of great advice.
I think that it's not your fault at all, it's never the child fault in these case.
It's completely your dads at the woman he's having an affair with,
but you have to tell your dad how hurt you and your mom are.
Does he have any feelings for you mom still or is it just nothing between them anymore except you and marriage?
And I can't believe he bought that woman cars and houses, that's ridik! Is she using him for money?
GET RID OF HER, sorry I dont know what else to say :[

Have a family talk.
Just make sure that your mom feels consoled
and that your dad knows how you feel.

[smilesunshine]

Holding the blame on yourself or your mother is beyond foolish. Your dad now has to face consequences for his actions.
Obviously that woman holds the scarlett letter on her, but a person that has the nerve to have an affair despite the fact that he has a family..the potential is always there with another individual. The best thing to do right now is encouraging your mother to stay strong and make sure to look after her because at this moment she is highly unstable and actions can be risky. Even if your mother did confront your father about this, there is never a quick solution because healing procress of this sort takes time. However, I suggest (as one of the previous posters mentioned) for your dad to leave the house for a good while because his presence is unhealthy for your mom. Remember, an unhappy relationship between two parents that cause stress to their children may be better off for a divorce. I don't wish that on you or anyone else, but there are boundaries not to cross as a decent human being. Take cares, hun.

[Lie]

How could it be you or your mom's fault that your dad can't keep his junk in his pants? He's his own person, he makes his own decisions, he deserves the blame if any blame is to be given here.

[thesisoflove]

oo! I suffered from depression for two years due to this problem.
My mom handled it okay though, she moved out.. and lost 20 pounds : ( it was really hard to see her go through that situation. When she moved, I was.. just.. devasted.. and my brother was clueless... stupid enough they are only together for the sake of us..
Let that other woman threaten herself to suicide. She's basically saying this because she wants to ruin your family and take all your fathers cash and leave, thats pratically what those b.... do.

What I did.. @_@ was pathetic.. I called the woman up and threatened her ass out.. guess what happened? I got in so much #%*#@%&# afterwards. The best thing to do is to help your mother through it, it's not your fault at all. Tell someone trustworthy.. like a best friend? It really helps with relieving.

Don't take the blame yourself, it leads you to negative thoughts. I took that path, and my whole personality flipped.

Take care of your mom and yourself !
Best of luck .

[mintcracker]

Um I don't get it...instead of hating your dad or putting the blame on him, you blame yourself and the other woman?


it bloody takes two to tango.

HE was the one married.

[bonjour tristesse.]

one good solid piece of advice ; leave everything to your parents.

it wasnt your fault and it wasnt you who was cheating on your mom. its their relationship and you? you try to go by life best s you can.

[lover&fighter]

you're blaming everybody else BUT your father. your father is no innocent player (no pun intended) in this situation. his bestfriend? the woman? they did the wrong thing, but they don't owe anything to you, they don't owe you trust or a duty of care whereas your father does. he is the real wrong-doer here.

as for you, you definitely shouldn't be faulting yourself. it's not YOUR fault that you trusted your father not to betray you and your mother. he took advantage of your's and your mother's trust which is a disgusting

[JazzyMina]

Aww

Im really sorry to hear ur story =[
must be heart breaking to see your dad betray you like that.

What you should do is up to you and ur Mother but what i think is to give ur Dad a ultimatum. <-- i think thts the word
He either ditches the affair and changes, is truly sorry for what he put you guys through or he stays with the woman and you guys leave him.

I dont see why you have to put up with this Lady when clearly, your a family and your Dads married. >.>
That woman of ur fathers must be really horrible, if shes able to ruin a family and have a affair with a Married man. Who could do such a thing without feeling guilty and ending it sooner?
I hope she learns her lesson one day.

With your mam and you wanting to get revenge on the woman, Try not revolve to violence. Since violence is never the answer. Killing somebody is just... no excuse could be for killing somebody, as much as shes done wrong, nobody deserves to be murdered or killed.

Just concentrate on Comforting your mum and makeing sure shes ok. Do things with her that makes her happy and take her out.

Dont Blame yourself for what has happened, since its not at all your fault. Its the woman plus your Dads fault.
No one else can be blamed except for them 2 being in the affair. As unfortunate as it is for your fathers friend to introduce the 2 people 2gther, i dont think you should blame him for causing the affair to start cause he probably didnt know things would turn out this way <-- evn though hes nt alive..

ANYWAYS ~ Hope everything goes well for you and that you and ur mother will be ok.

GOOD LUCK AH ^^