[TracyT]

Me and my ex (he's 18 and graduating this year) have been broken up for a month, the reason was we were in a tough time and communication and understanding died down. Lately we've been talking again, he still loves me but doesn't know if he wants to get back because he doesn't want the same thing to happen and he's struggling with his own issues with his life. As for me, I love him with all of my heart and I want him to be happy and after hearing that he's trying to get into college and having family issues right now I don't want to be more of a problem to him. I still want to be with him but I don't know if it's the right thing to tell him that.

so what can I do for now? Stay good friends with him and be there for him as much as I can?

[riceavocado]

I say stay good friends, then you'll avoid possibly going back into the previous situation and still be able to provide support.

[Painterlyy]

Every girl has that one guy that she will always love but can't be with. You'll always love him but...it's probably best if you two both go your separate ways and move on. It won't be easy...but no one said life was.

[Mryanhon]

If you love him, even if you say you guys are just "good friends", you guys aren't JUST "good friends". Whether you call him your boyfriend, or your good friend, you love him, so how could a term that you call him change the way you act towards him? How does having a girlfriend like you, add to his problems? Nobody said, just cause you call a person your "girlfriend", you have to spend an extra 3 hours with them, pay an extra 10% attention, or something like that. You guys can still be together, and give room and time for each other's private life.

The issue here isnt' whether you call each other good friends or couples. The issue is whether you guys CAN communicate or understand each other, because being good friends doesnt change how well you guys fit ~ how well you guys fit, is how well you guys fit as friends our couples, because the fact is, you two love each other.

So keep caring for him, doesnt matter whether you guys are together or not, ur still going to care for him the same way

[TracyT]

He's waiting to see if he can get a scholarship for a college in California. So he might be moving after graduating. He's confused and doesn't know what to do right now. He didn't directly tell me that he still loves me, I found that out from my best friend that was talking to him. Now I think he's trying to tell me how he feels but he doesn't want to talk about it at school, and I don't know if I should bring it up if he's too scared to talk to me about it.

[Mryanhon]

you should bring it up, because as someone whos close to him, you should make him comfortable and help him say the things he wants to say : )

[TracyT]

I don't know how and where I should talk to him about it because I'm sure he doesn't want to say anything at school and we don't hang out outside of school since we broke up

[YESUNGHWAITING!]

Go to his house or meet him somewhere.
If you really want this to work, you can't just sit around and wonder.
Gotta make it happen.
(:

[Emerald Snow]

I don't see it as holding him back. How would it be holding him back just because you're his girlfriend again? Unless you're an extremely demanding and clingy girlfriend, which I don't think you are, it shouldn't matter. In fact, in times of such difficulty, it's best to have someone by his side supporting him.

Even if it doesn't work out in the end, at least you know that you tried your best. Life is too short to be giving up on everything. Good luck. =)


I've read some of the posts below, and while they do make some sense, when you really think about it......life is never smooth. The same goes with relationships. There are obstacles and ups and downs for every couple, and this is where you truly see your relationship tested. If you both are willing to make it work, then you will be able to. There WILL be time to date in college, and even if education and family is more of a priority to him, if he really likes you, he will manage to find time for you.

[TracyT]

The hardest part right now is trying to get him to open up to me and tell me how he feels. He's the type of guy who doesn't show his emotions and doesn't want people to know his problems. I want to say something to him and see if he's brave enough to tell me his feelings.

[bonjour tristesse.]

if you really loved him like you say you do, you'd let him go and grow. like they say, if toy two were meant to ahve a future you two will get back together. besides, i dont really think you want to hold him back either from the future he wishes to aspire.

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

just support and stop starting drama (like breaking up with him for his own good)
he knows what is good for him. if he doesnt want you then he doesnt want you.
and about his feelings..........just leave that alone.
if he wants to talk to you, then he will talk to you.

[treecyoh]

I know how you feel... I had the same thing happen to me.

I liked this guy for a really long time, he liked me back... we both confessed our feelings before he left to korea for the whole summer 2008... when he came back he told me he wanted to just be friends because of his education and also because his family was pushing him to get into a good college. somewhere like standford, cornell, harvard, duke,etc.... after he told me this, a good friend of mine told me that he still liked me, and had to break up w/ me because of family expectations.

Although, I went through a lot of crap during the summer (like my best friend bailing out on me, my grandfather dying, depressed that i couldn't talk to my lover for the whole summer then finding out that he just dumped me...) I still managed to pick up my life and move on.

Even though I don't understand why he couldn't manage both school life and love life and family life, I just moved on. It's hard at first, but if you choose to stop liking him, it can happen. Today, we're just friends and he's there for me when I need him and I try to be there for him when he needs me, but only as a friend... nothing more.

I think you guys should just be friends... it's just a high school relationship. Besides how far do you plan to go out w/him if you guys do get back together? How long do you plan to date him? I personally think that you guys should just be friends and later when things are more at peace for both of you guys, then maybe if you guys still like each other.... thats when you guys should think about dating. but for right now... it's only high school. lets try to keep it simple.

[rapramesi]

well it is pretty hard eh? coz he has his own problem + college

...you still love him, and he still loves you too..
but coz of the issues you both kinda struggling in relationship..
hm..

i would say just say good friends for now.. until everything went back to normal? i guess.
like after his problem fixed.. well until everything stable (to put it simple)

so for now just go with the flow... be good friend with him.
^^

[Cin De]

Every girl has that one guy that she will always love but can't be with. You'll always love him but...it's probably best if you two both go your separate ways and move on. It won't be easy...but no one said life was.

[heheimawesome]

Whatever you do, just don't suffocate him with yourself

Just give him some space, but at the same time let him know you're there for him. just hug him every now and then and ask how he's doing. don't make it harder on him.

[Refinnejam]

I think right now, try to support him as best you can and make sure he knows that you're there for him. Both of you should have your "separate" time, because he might be bringing baggage into a renewed relationship, which isn't giving it the best chance possible.
I would make known that I am still interested, but only when he's ready and has felt like he sorted everything out.

[eternal.happiness]

If you love him try to be more realistic with yourself.
If you don't want to burden him, support him as a really good friend.
Once things settle down if the feelings are real .. than you could get back together if anything.
For the time being, I think all he really needs is loving support.

[TracyT]

thank you soompiers
yeah for right now I'm just going to be his friend and be there for him. As for getting back together, it'll happen if it's meant to be.

[Flicksityy]

Support him as a friend and whatever is supposed to fall into place will.