Posted 31 March 2009 - 11:20 PM
Advantages Of Being A Man
Why it's better to be a Man!
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president (of where you're born).
- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's ass if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
- You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky looking.
- Same work ... more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- The occasional well-rendered belch (from either end) is practically expected.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You know stuff about tanks.
- A five-day vacation requires only one small wheely-bag.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You can leave the motel bed unmade.
- You can kill your own food.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.
- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices or cares.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without anyone thinking, "He must be mad at me."
- You don't mooch off other's desserts.
- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- Your powerful belly usually hides your big hips.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
- You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife or your teeth.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
P.S. just for the record, Most of these things do not apply to me ._.
Also Random but Very funny!
Why are married women
heavier than single women ?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful ?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb ?"
God says: "So she would love you."
