[Happy Pudding Cake]

Hi sorry this is really long but I need some advice..

Not long ago I went out with a guy and he was really good looking and shy and polite and sweet. Then one night after dinner he's like "I wanna show you something" and he ended up taking me to his apartment. I usually don't go in a guy's apartment but he seemed innocent enough so I thought why not. We just sat on the couch and talked for a couple hours but then I was like "I have to work tomorrow so you should probably take me home now." And he said "No I'm not taking you home tonight" and no matter what I said he said he wouldn't take me home until the next morning. I wanted to call and ask someone to pick me up but I wasn't sure where his apartment was located so I ended up spending the night. I couldn't sleep at all because he kept touching me all over my body and kissing me and wanting to do stuff so I stayed awake in case he tried to do something funny.

Anyways the next day he called and apologized and said he was really drunk and kept begging for me to forgive him and I thought about it. Before that one experience he'd seemed so nice, and technically he didn't rape me even though he had a good opportunity, so maybe he was just really drunk and not really a bad guy, so I gave him a second chance.

The next bad experience came when we were hanging out at my friend's dorm. He was ready to leave and I said "This is my best friend and I haven't seen her in a couple months so I think I'll just stay here tonight so we can catch up." And he actually freaked out and made a scene in front of my friend and her roommate. He told me I had to leave with him or else I was going to make him really angry. And he took my purse and walked out with it so I would have to follow him. After that my friends were really worried about me and said I need to dump him. The next time I was with my friend he called 6 times and kept asking where I was and I said I'm with my friend. And he said "I hope for your sake that you're not lying to me."

The next time I was out with him he said to make up for sleeping at my friends place I'd have to sleep at his place again. I said no but then he started crying and saying how much he loves me and he's so stupid for always somehow scaring me away. And then I felt really sorry for him and ended up spending the night there again.

So the thing that freaked me out the most was yesterday morning. It was my day off so I wanted to sleep in but I woke up because I could hear talking, I went downstairs and he was IN MY HOUSE. Like he didn't even ask to come over or warn me or anything. I live with my grandparents and he was talking to them and I said I need to talk to him outside. And I was like what are you doing here? And he said he wanted to meet my family because he talked to his parents and asked if he could marry me. And he wants me to marry him and go to his country with him (he is from Uzbekistan). Then later that night he called me saying "come outside" and he was in front of my house without warning AGAIN.

I feel like this has become too much. I can't even fall asleep because everytime I hear a slight noise I wake up scared he is at my house. Everytime my phone rings, everytime there's a knock at the door, I get so scared. And if I keep going out with him he wants to get married so I shouldn't keep leading him on knowing there's no way I want to marry him. But I feel bad because I think in a weird way he DOES love me and I'm his only gf ever since he moved to this country 2 years ago. Also I feel like if I break up with him it will be embarassing for him since he's already told all his friends and family about me. And he knows where I live and where I work, I'm scared if I break up with him he will keep showing up unnannounced or maybe even do something crazy. I really want out of this, I don't want to live being scared of this guy anymore, I have NO free time anymore because whenever I'm off work he wants me to be with him or else he has a tantrum. I don't know how to end this

[prisonerzero]

Just breaking up with him would be a good start. Just say it's over, otherwise you're letting yourself suffer.

[xorgasmxmachinex]

When you are breaking up with him, make sure to have friends close by to watch..NOT listen. And don't go anywhere alone. If you are still afraid, call the authorities or a helpline.

[AHLEENA]

Wow. He sounds so serious about you and you sound so scared of him.
Omg. If I was in your situation- I would be so freaked out.

He's like, stealing your purse, and making you go after him to get it back even though you don't want to. Omg.
And you dont' have to sleep over @ that pervert's house who keeps touching you when it's clear you don't want to do anything... gawd. Don't sleep @ his house X_X

It sounds like you are barely dating and he's already being so creepy omg. he's so creepy @_@ okay. this is like totally awful advice LOL but I think you should break up with him =)

[mintywinter]

Break up with him, and make sure your friends are watching so they can protect you. Change your house's locks. If he keeps following you, call the authorities. Don't worry about embarrassing him; your safety is priority here!

[mayva]

You should let your loved ones know about your situation. In your case it doesn't seem healthy, he seems possesive and it could very likely lead to physical and emotional abuse in the long run. I don't know how long you two have been dating but the 'sooner the better', I mean if a break up is really what you want that is... don't drag it any longer because in the end it is YOU who matters not what his friends and family would think or how he would feel. Plus, get a restraining order if you need to.

[Meenuh]

Oh wow this guy sounds super creepy...

Dont stay with this guy just cause you feel sorry for him. No offense but he sounds like he has a few screws loose in the head... get away from him now before it's too late. Break up with him..

When you are breaking up with him, make sure to have friends close by to watch..NOT listen. And don't go anywhere alone. If you are still afraid, call the authorities or a helpline.

This is good advice. Very good advice. Make sure your friends are there when you break up with them. Preferably some guy friends.

[rosakim]

this guy sounds creepy and overly possessive and obsessive....those are not good signs...especially when you are terrified of him..do not marry him and you need to end it asap...since you live with your grandparents, tell them don't let him in the house and yes, you do need to tell the people around you your situation so they can help you, and if he continues to act like this go to the police and file a report at least or get a protective order if you must...you know this kind of remind me of one of those movies on tv...but this is your reality...i am sorry you are going through that...i will pray for your safety and good luck..and like some people said make sure you do not go anywhere alone...

[mndz]

he sounds like super possesive. you have to break up with him for
your safety 'cause you dont know what he will do next. when you
break up with him, and he keeps on calling you, following you
around acting like a totaly stalker. . . restrainting order, or move
it that is possible. get distance from him as much a possible.
take care.
be safe.

[Hato]

The guy sounds quite messed up based on your description. When you break up with him, I think you should do it in a peaceful manner if possible. Also if he doesn't leave you alone / he's doing some weird things, don't hesitate to tell someone or inform the police. And yeah like someone said above, try to get some friends watch your back.

[C4Y [[Crazy 4 YeongSaeng]]]

Wow .. break up with him NOW.
My suggestion would be that you should have your friend's nearby to watch you're back.
Just in case anything does happen, they can come and help you out.
When you break up with him, be kind but firm.
Like "It's been good this past _____, but ... I just can't see you in my future like you see me in yours. I'm sorry."

You should also explain to your grandparents that they should not let him in the house anymore because he is stalking you.
He's not in love with you. He's obsessed.

[rurokenshin]

yeah...i agree with what the other ppl have said
it should be ur priority to break up with him soon~

it would be nice he could take it normally, but if not..i would considerr telling ur friends/family members about it
and maybe even taking it further if needed

anyway, if u dont make it clear to him, he's not gonna stop what he's doing
and it might even get worse

[Dreamer]

dump him immediately before it's too late. he sounds like a clinger holy shat. and a possible chris brown. dump his *ss!

[chopstick^^]

*slap slap* .. this is to u! I really hate stupid people.

[AngieK]

1. Break up with him. Make sure there is someone either with you or near you so if he gets violent you are not alone.
2. Talk to your grandparents and let them know the situation so that they take the precautions to not let him in your house after-wards.
3. When you go places always go with at least one other person until you reach a point where you think you can be safe again.

If anything happens do not hesitate to call 911 or ask for help. If he threatens you or does anything drastic consider getting a restraining order or something like that. Your life is top priority.

I'm sorry this had to happen to you and hopefully you won't have to resort to this but I advise you get out now. And tell the people around you so that they can help. You can't fight him alone.

[CAprd]

lol that's kinda funny.

[hallokitty]

Do u realize that being shy & quiet does not make someone a nice person. It makes them mysterious.

He turned out to be a creep, and next time get to know someone better before sleeping together. Don't b so easy!

You only have yourself to blame.

[littleangel19]

Wow that's so freaken creepy! You better get rid of him FAST! Tell EVERYONE that you're breaking up with him. Show no pity! This is serious! He could end up doing something bad to you, and you wouldn't be able to stop it.

[Miss.Understood]

Funny how the quiet ones are usually the scariest. First impressions are misleading. lol.

Anyway, just break up with him in front of some friends for your safety. = ) Make sure to change your home phone number + your cellphone number. Tell your grandparents about your situation so they'll understand. Good luck.

[JetGirl]

dump him, then get a restraining order if he keeps stalking you.