[bonjour tristesse.]

lately, ive been feeling kind of distant from my boyfriend. last week when break started for us, he went out with his friends. later on, i found out that he was smoking and drinking and stuff like that. of course, he doesnt do those kind of stuff everyday and he was just doing it because you know, his friends were doing it. to top it off, since i cant go to prom with him he's asking an ex of his to go with him. i didnt tell him i didnt like the idea. who was i to say i dont go with her anyways when im the one who told him i cant go myself. i was pretty upset over this.

then this week that went by i felt as if he didn't even have any time for me. around friday when we were talking he was complaining about how he didn't even have the chance to see me. well, i had all the time i could have spared for him but did he? no, i think not. because for sure i know that during break when he wasnt working all he did was hang out with his friends which mainly consist of girls. this whole situation kind of made me depressed all week long to be honest. i dont mean to be clingy [and im not!] but a girl wouldn't be able to resist and for sure if you were in my situation you'd feel the same way i feel, frustrated and jealous.

so last night when i was finally feeling a whole lot better i call him at around who knows, 11 or 12. and when he answered he goes 'oh im out with some of my friends' and what do i hear in the background? a bunch of girls . as ive said, his friends mainly consist of girls.

and now .. i don't have a clue on what i should do. a part of me dont want to tell him .. but its really bugging me.

advice?

[littleangel19]

You should tell him how you feel. If it bothers you, you must tell him, because if you hold it in, it will just cause more trouble. Do you want to hold it in? And if you do, how long till you burst? Maybe he can take you with him, when he's hanging out with his friends. I know as I am a girl too, that when your lover is with other girls, you tend to think to the side. And you feel that he must spend at lest some time with you. So just tell him, if he loves you, he'll understand.

[happiisunshin]

Tell him how you feel about this. The problem will never be solved if you don't confront him about it.

For the girl friends situation, why don't you try at least meeting his girl friends? Get to know them by asking to hang out with them through shopping or something. They might not be as bad as they seem.

A guy's girl friends are just like a girl's guy friends, really.

[rachellee39]

A guy's girl friends are just like a girl's guy friends, really.

that's something that I don't believe in.

as ive said, his friends mainly consist of girls.

were you aware that most of his friends are girls when you got together with him?

[happiisunshin]

that's something that I don't believe in.

*shrugs*

What I was trying to say that line (without using much words as possible) was that guys' have their own girl friends and girls' have their own guy friends. I was trying to illustrate the concept in some way, but maybe I sent out a different message. Oh well.

[rachellee39]

*shrugs*

What I was trying to say that line (without using much words as possible) was that guys' have their own girl friends and girls' have their own guy friends. I was trying to illustrate the concept in some way, but maybe I sent out a different message. Oh well.

that I agree. I think it's alright for guys to have their own girl friends. But the way you phrased/shortened your sentence gave me a different impression.

[Stolen_waters]

that's something that I don't believe in.

Are you in high school? 'Cause in college it's pretty different, at least from what I've seen and experienced.
I know a lot of guys who are always surrounded by girls, but they have a special girl they like, and that girl is usually their girlfriend.
And those guys don't flirt with the other girls.
One of my guy friends actually talks a lot about his girlfriend who goes to a different university from us. He's really proud of her and stuff, and we're actually sick of his love stories! LOL His girlfriend does sometimes hang out with us, but not all the time.
It's also important for both the guy and the girl to have their own space and their own set of friends.

When I was in high school though, I hear a lot of stories about "bridges" getting together with either the guy or the girl.
If you don't know what bridges are, they are people who are friends with both parties and are usually the ones who help the couple know more about each other or help the couple make up when they fight.
So weird...

[hippiehop]

Why is he taking his EX to prom??

There isn't anything really wrong with him having mostly female friends. What's wrong is when he only hangs out with them and not with you at all.

[ShadowMax76]

A guy's girl friends are just like a girl's guy friends, really.

haha..
in the cynical sexualized world i see,
chris rock says to the fellas "if your gf has platonic friends, that's who she'll be john teshing when you mess up"
. and a guy's gf is his top girl. so what does that make the other girls? i think you get the idea..

_but eh. to the OP . i guess you don't understand how it is for him since you don't have many male friends?
it's an odd feeling. to be stuck between
- his happiness before meeting you
- and your jealousy.

but until you know how it feels like, you won't get over it.
+ as the others have said. tell him how you feel about it. but don't expect him to change anything for you.. just tell him how you feel.

[des monstres]

Why is he taking his EX to prom??

There isn't anything really wrong with him having mostly female friends. What's wrong is when he only hangs out with them and not with you at all.

yeah seriously. he has you. why is he taking an EX?
it's his ex for a reason. and you're his current girlfriend.
it should either be:
go with you
OR
don't go at all.


geez.

[kirra12]

imo, first talk it out. im pretty sure he has nothing to hide, ^^
seeing he still complains that he doesnt have time to meet u,
he still likes u, so dont worry too much,
maybe this is the period when he wants to be with friends more.

but yes, talk on the fon at least once a day, something like :
hey wazzup, im doing this that just wanna hear your voice kay, see ya,
im sure he wud be fine and not find u too clingy.

i have many male friends, and sometimes my ex-bf would just go like "him? again?"
and i get the idea, and meet my male friends less frequent.. ^^
if he still likes you, any questions wont budge ur relationship ^^

also, regarding the ex, idk, how is your relationship with his ex?
idk, im not really positive regarding this taking his ex, >.<
cuz sometimes guys are indecisive.. but hopefully its just normal casual ask out for prom..

[bonjour tristesse.]

Why is he taking his EX to prom??

well, i cant go to prom with him and then one night, he just decides hes taking her. i dont know why hes taking her either so ..

but eh. to the OP . i guess you don't understand how it is for him since you don't have many male friends?

no, i actually have a number of guy friends and i do know ; its just that he complains about me not having any time for me but hes the one who would rather hang out with his home girls and heres me, who has all the time to spare for him.

also, regarding the ex, idk, how is your relationship with his ex?

well, i dont know her. but i do know that they were serious with one another because she was his longest relationship

[hippiehop]

well, i cant go to prom with him and then one night, he just decides hes taking her. i dont know why hes taking her either so ..

Going to prom with his ex is really inconsiderate. Why can't he go without a date? or not at all? Prom is really not that big of a deal...

[supa'Wanki]

He might just be leaving his options open... *cough cough.

[ritzy!]

............

he's bringing his ex to the prom....... ???

what the john tesh is up with that mini cooper ?

[phoenix rise]

so he is bringing his (s)ex to the prom?

[antivogue]

Ouch.

Something is wrong with this picture.

[Bourjois]

to top it off, since i cant go to prom with him he's asking an ex of his to go with him. i didnt tell him i didnt like the idea. who was i to say i dont go with her anyways when im the one who told him i cant go myself.

Of course you have a right to tell him that you dislike the idea. You're his girlfriend! And in my opinion, it's pretty effed up for him to take an ex.

My bf has an insane amount of friends who are girls but I was never that insecure about it because he made it clear that they're just friends who happen to be girls . Your boyfriend should be making you feel like you're the only girl for him, and his girl friends come second (or third... or fourth...). If he's not doing that then you should really bring it up. Maybe there's a lack of communication, I don't know, but you should really talk things out with him.

[Miss.Understood]

Of course you have a right to tell him that you dislike the idea. You're his girlfriend! And in my opinion, it's pretty effed up for him to take an ex.

My bf has an insane amount of friends who are girls but I was never that insecure about it because he made it clear that they're just friends who happen to be girls . Your boyfriend should be making you feel like you're the only girl for him, and his girl friends come second (or third... or fourth...). If he's not doing that then you should really bring it up. Maybe there's a lack of communication, I don't know, but you should really talk things out with him.

agreed
don't be afraid to express how you feel. if he doesn't like it and catches an attitude, then why is he worth being your boyfriend? good luck. (: <3

[dafleur]

so he is bringing his (s)ex to the prom?

LOLers