[chinkboye22]

if you were going to graduate college in a year:

at the moment:
- you don't have friends b/c your past and current friends are losers: they are stagnant etc...
- you are about to go in the real world in this crap economy w/o ne idea what u want do to w/ your life
- you never dated a girl

what would u do to meet new and good friends? since you'll be in the real world and not in school
this is my life story and don't give me that: volunteering, you'll meet friends in the work place, in class, no i don't want to join the stupid Asian crowd like before etc.., and yes i have my reasons before u be callin me close minded

so what would u do? since i've almost tried everything i could
i just can't seem to find my niche for 3 years, if i could go back in time i would dorm at uni instead of commute and chill w/ the same stereotypical Asian crowd, newayz its not about my past, its would else can i do??? since i've already done the above

*sighs where is my niche? my future is so bleak; i also thought about moving to a diff state to start a new but how could i even meet new friends let alone a job etc...DOUmini cooperE!!!!!!!!!!

[bukatko]

do u have any special skill/talent?

music(singing,dance, intruement), acting? art(drawing, painting) sports?. etc?

cuz i met a lot of peopeple through my hobbies. For example piano, I work sat and sun at my local music academy, and ofcourse i met lots of great poeple there. And i also dance, and now in the dance team. Again met lots of great poeple there. Lesson of the story. Just do things u enjoy and making friends will fall into place.

[blue_shoe]

If you have never dated a girl is because one you're one ugly poor dude or two you have no balls to be a man.

Well if you're ugly, you can't do anything about it, but being ugly is not hopeless. Girl likes confident guy! Ever try walking up to a girl and goes hey what's your name. Don't wait for the girl, go after the fish. Fix yourself up a little. I know it sounds harsh, but it's the truth. If you're not ugly, try to be more sociable and have more confident, take more initiative. It's like school...if you're dumb, work harder.

Yeah when you're about to enter the real world a lot of friends seem like losers. All of my friends are losers. Even the one who aren't are not really educated. They have decent job but i can't talk to them on intellectual level because they wouldn't know who Plato is.

I suggest you go join a hobby like martial art...go to the gym regularly and then goes "hey I notice you go here a lot".

Always try to take opportunity. Go to wedding, baby shower, party .

[naoto]

^ but if you do fish make sure you are prepared for nasty rejections. Not all girls like guys walking up to them, some are offended by it and give you a terrible response. But for 2 that dont there are 10 who are very friendly and open to being friends at least. confidence is good, but don't let them tear you up!

[Adionik]

^ but if you do fish make sure you are prepared for nasty rejections. Not all girls like guys walking up to them, some are offended by it and give you a terrible response. But for 2 that dont there are 10 who are very friendly and open to being friends at least. confidence is good, but don't let them tear you up!

THIS. I've felt like an idiot a few times I did try something...

[[HyuNi]]

geez blue, you're tearing him a new one!
Let's give some positive reinforcement, huh?
Gosh, I got chills reading the first few sentences you wrote. haha

OP, rather than trying to find your 'niche', why don't you broaden your perspective and meet people in situations or places you don't normally find yourself in? When I graduated from grad school, I thought my social life would come to a screeching halt, so I thought I had to hang onto my close school buddies if I were to have any friends.

I realized that even my closest friends in high school/college all are living their own lives and establishing their futures. What we had in common before isn't necessarily there anymore. I'm still grateful that they were a part of me life, though... because we had some really deep conversations and amazing fun and hilarious times as well.

So after I started working, I found myself part consciously/part subconsciously trying to meet new people. I was more open and willing to talk to strangers, which led to meeting one friend, that introduced me to a few other friends, which leads to other friends, etc. I realized that stage in my life was like re-living my freshman year of college. Everyone was SO eager to meet new people, but they we're either scared or didn't know how or where to go meet new people. It's a process. You'll meet all different kinds of people and slowly start to hang out with one group more than another group. Through that process, you might even be able to find that 'niche' you're looking for.

Your attitude and outlook on life is important too. Not to sound overly optimistic, but there's plenty to be thankful for despite a worsening economy. I personally believe life wasn't met to be easy, but it sure is interesting. If you don't think so, it's probably not because you're surroundings are lame, but you most likely don't take the time to discover interesting things.

Let's not jump the gun and try to find a girlfriend or go on dates yet. Meeting/finding new friends will keep you busy enough!
Plus, even probability tells you that you have more luck making new friends, than finding a girlfriend simply because more people are probably willing to befriend you, than be your girlfriend.

I'm babbling. I probably didn't help at all. Anyways, good luck!

[Pogichinoy]

It's kind of difficult to explain because in my experience with the new people that I meet every year, it all happens by chance. I did not go out of my way to look for new people but instead randomly meet them unexpectedly. e.g. I attended an anime convention my friend dragged me too, was grabbed by a girl and had a short chat with her, exchanged contacts and ate dinner with her friends and friend's friends. Made friends out of all those people and then kept meeting more like a chain reaction.

I say its not necessary to plan to find people, but let the people find you. What's important is that you are out there, not staying at home on Friday and Saturday nights.

Personality is everything though, be outgoing/positive/optimistic/energised, make an effort to look good.

If all else fails, drag an ugly fat friend with you, so that you look tonnes better than he/she does? xD jkjkjkjk

[lemoncake0910]

^ I agree.
My experience with meeting new people wasn't through effort or anything (not like: me going to a club and approaching people, hoping that I will make friends that way), because I tend to meet people at the most unexpected times & places. (whether it's through some university/college club gathering or parties, classes, at work, from volunteering for a certain event or at some location, at a language class you're taking on the weekends, etc...)

I notice that after you grad. from high school and attend classes at Uni/College, it may not be easy to make new friends as you did back in high school. You may have a couple classes with a certain group of new friends, but if your friendship with them isn't that great/close, then those people will become more distant from you after the classes are over, as you might not have any more classes with them anymore.
It's also the same with the people/co-workers you see & work with at your job. Depending how close your friendship is with them, after you quit your job, you might feel a bit sad because you won't see those same people at your new job, or have the same type of connection you had with the people from your previous job.

Well, since after your graduation from university/college, you'll most likely be working and be meeting people from... work... o__o unless if you have any extracurriculars besides work.
oh... there's also soompi meet-ups too. :b

lols, dunno if any of the things I typed up there will bring you any ideas, but that's all I could think of for now. (:

[terrorist]

It's kind of difficult to explain because in my experience with the new people that I meet every year, it all happens by chance. I did not go out of my way to look for new people but instead randomly meet them unexpectedly. e.g. I attended an anime convention my friend dragged me too, was grabbed by a girl and had a short chat with her, exchanged contacts and ate dinner with her friends and friend's friends. Made friends out of all those people and then kept meeting more like a chain reaction.

I say its not necessary to plan to find people, but let the people find you. What's important is that you are out there, not staying at home on Friday and Saturday nights.

Personality is everything though, be outgoing/positive/optimistic/energised, make an effort to look good.

If all else fails, drag an ugly fat friend with you, so that you look tonnes better than he/she does? xD jkjkjkjk

i second this.