[Metamorphosis]

I'm currently very confused. There's this guy who I've known for over a year now, and he likes me. I'm not physically attracted to him at all, but I think he has the personality that I'm looking for, I feel that we're very compatible. I've always liked him a lot as a friend, but he wants to be more than friends. I'm not trying to be a shallow, I've never wanted to go for someone with just a pretty face, I know better. But then I always thought there's should always be at least some physical & mental attraction inorder to go far in a relationship. I've talked to my friends about it and they told me I could go for it if i really like him but I can do better. I know what they mean, there are other guys that like me who are more physically attrative, but I feel no one that I know has the connection that I have with him, and I don't even know how much I like him or in what way (friends or more than friends). I tell myself to give him a chance because it's hard to find someone who you're compatible with and likes me for who I am. So sometimes I just look at him when we talk, and as hard as I try, i still can't find any physical attraction.. Am I shallow for not wanting to go further than being friends because I don't find him attractive? I'm so confused, I feel like I'm a bad person? what should I do?

[Painterlyy]

Personally, for me, the looks attract me in...but the personality is what keeps me interested or what I fall for. I mean...is there a connection? You can't tell yourself that you THINK he is right for you. Is he or is he not? I always thought there should be a spark or a fire between my man and I.

[ShadowMax76]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love

eventually the initial physical attraction dies out anyways. then there's how you become physically attracted to them for their personality.

@_@ but eh . i'm not sure how important it is for girls to find the guy physically attractive. o-0 you girls find any guy sexy [as long as he has nice hair and wears nice clothes DDD:]

[sus]

mental attraction creates physical attraction
u know if u feel that u two are suited for each other but u just cant get over the fact that hes not good lookin or watever
ur passing up a chance

looks can change... a new hair cut
some new clothes
and bam he can b ur type!

just give him a chance... it will onli work if u get over that hump... n not focus on the looks

[Metamorphosis]

Personally, for me, the looks attract me in...but the personality is what keeps me interested or what I fall for. I mean...is there a connection? You can't tell yourself that you THINK he is right for you. Is he or is he not? I always thought there should be a spark or a fire between my man and I.

If i knew he's the right guy for me or not, i wouldn't be here all confused =(

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love

eventually the initial physical attraction dies out anyways. then there's how you become physically attracted to them for their personality.

@_@ but eh . i'm not sure how important it is for girls to find the guy physically attractive. o-0 you girls find any guy sexy [as long as he has nice hair and wears nice clothes DDD:]

lol wikipedia...
i don't know about physical attraction dies out or not, but I know it will eventually won't matter as much. but what if i never had that physcial attraction? and would relationship work if you're not physcially attracted to your partner?

[hippiehop]

If you are attracted to his personality only, then that means you are meant to be just friends.

[mintcracker]

personality can make sb look alot better in your eyes
looks are just fleeting. I say give it a chance! I mean you said it yourself, it'll be hard to find sb else who clicks as well with you.


You're gonna date them for their personality, cos if you're focused onn looks, it won't last.

[manlytoe]

you're probably just emotionally attached to him.

emotional attachment is attaching one self to someone or something based on emotion in such a way that your emotions have a big impact on how you might make your decision regarding that "Something" or "someone".

EXAMPLE: "when you have an emotional attachment to someone, it means you have a deep emotional bond with that person. Thinking of the person stirs up deep feelings, and yes it could be between friends as well as in a romantic relationship. You could have a deep emotional attachment to your childhood best friend, for example, who may have seen you through many hard times. The two of you have shared experiences that connect you emotionally".



but when their personality is just all that you like, they should or just seem to look better and better each day.

[Emerald Snow]

I think you should be somewhat physically attracted to your s/o. You can give it a try and see how it goes from there, but I'm a bit iffy on that one. It seems that you just see him as a very very good friend, and nothing more.

[plegend2007]

When I met my current gf, I met her through a mutual friend, before I actually met her, we talked over the phone and chatted on msn. In other words, we actually got to know each other before we even knew what each other looked like. Our mutual friend introduced us because we had similar mindset and had things in common.

After I realized what an amazing person that she was, I decided no matter what she looked like, I was going to go on a date with her. Long story cut short, we are together now and happiest can be. Looks had nothing to do with it. It was all personality.

I say give it a try, it doesn't hurt to find out if there can be more or not. You never know.

Also, give the nice guy with the personality the chance to prove himself.

[jhealizzie]

just give it a shot.
try if yer relationship will work.
you might find him attractive in a physical way.









ahh`
what am i saying.

[faerie87]

can you imagine kissing him? can you imagine going beyond that??? do you think you'd ever want to?
if you can't...then you're meant to just be friends.
because honestly, physical attraction is what defines a romantic relationship from a really strong friendship.
a strong relationship without physical attraction is just a friendship.

[lilliefrost]

I don't see the harm in agreeing to date him, but of course tell him beforehand how you feel. It's possible that you will develop physical attraction when you're both in the state of mind of dating. And if that doesn't happen, then you just break up. (Of course I realize things are never that simple, but w/e)

[Hakiri]

@_@ but eh . i'm not sure how important it is for girls to find the guy physically attractive. o-0 you girls find any guy sexy [as long as he has nice hair and wears nice clothes DDD:]

ohhwwww ; ___ ; that's so painfully true! ><;;

But anyway, yeah, I think the longer you're with a person, the less physical appearances matter.
It's because with greater time, you're with them for the personality, because you care about the person they are, rather than what they look like.

But every once in a while, I do tend to notice appearances, but that usually passes quickly.
If I enjoy being with the person and feel comfortable with him, that's most important =)

[vindemi]

can you imagine kissing him? can you imagine going beyond that??? do you think you'd ever want to?
if you can't...then you're meant to just be friends.
because honestly, physical attraction is what defines a romantic relationship from a really strong friendship.
a strong relationship without physical attraction is just a friendship.

QFT. I did that with one, I loved talking to him. He did like me, but I only saw him as a friend. Then he betrayed me. I cut him off from my life.
For me to do that, it has to be a big thing.

[darae]

physical attraction is important to me. i'm not saying the guy has to be hot but there has to be chemistry. i tried dating a guy i wasn't physically attracted to but he had a nice personality and it didn't work out for me because i just wasn't attracted to him. it was weird though because all my friends said he was really good looking but to me he was just okay.

but my bf right now i'm definitely attracted to and i can tell the difference. i felt empty before in my past relationship but with him i feel fulfilled(?)

i don't think you're being shallow because there has to be chemistry. he can't just be like any other guy friend you have, there has to be something special about him that pulls you in.

[mintcracker]

I thought chemistry was more how well you click, and whether your personalities mesh


thinking they're hot isn't called chemistry o_O

[zkpd]

beauty gets attention, personality gets the heart

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

depends....physical attraction can be developed later on. as long as your physically comfortable with him and not find it repulsive when you guys are intimate.

[AngieK]

People are saying personality is what matters but you need both mental and physical in a relationship for it to work.

Else..think of it this way:

If there is not physical attraction you will probably feel uncomfortable if things get heated. For example, if he leans in for a kiss or if you start making out. If you think you will feel comfortable with doing intimate things with him (or grow to feel comfortable) go for it. if not you should make it clear to him that you have no intentions of dating him else you'll continue to give him that false hope.

Good luck.