[pinkgirlblueboy]

I had a fight with my boyfriend. It wasn't really anything out of the ordinary... so we had the fight the other day , and then it continued yesterday.

And we were both angry and frustrated and we hanged up coz there was nothing left to say.

The issue was just because I thougt he treated me better when we were just friends and that he treats his friends better than me. We've had worst fights so I was actually shocked that he was so angry.

So after we hang up the first time, he called me again to ask how he was actually nicer to me when we were just friends..and yeah basically both of us were still stubborn so he was like "ill talk to you later" and hang up.

I was upset that he didn't work it out coz usually he would stay on the phone with me to work things out but he didn't that time.

So i called back and said " do you want to this this?" and he said " yes, do you" and i paused coz i was thinking about whethr he was being honest and then i said yes. and he accused me of wanting to break up but i was too scared to do so because according to him i was always "picking fights" and picking on every little thing he did. He then said that we should take time apart like 2 days. and i was like "wat do u mean by that? as in a break?" and he's like "no" and im like wat do u mean " do u want to break up?" and he's like " no im not breaking up with you" and i was majorly confused and finally he said " like break up temporarily to figure out whether you still want to be with me"

So i was really upset because I still did want to be with him. So i asked to see him and usually he would of come out for me but he just sed for me to go to his house which is on the same street but he would usually go out of his way..

So i went over and said I didn't need the break time coz i already noe that i don't want to break up and i was crying and stuff. So yeah, we decided not to have the temporary break up.

So after that was sorted, i asked him "why wud u risk letting mego? what if i did say i wanted to break up permanently" and he said " than maybe it was the best thing for us" and he said " but i had a hunch that we'll get back together down the track, like i would of called you" blah blah blah.

But now I'm feeling more insecure than ever. After i went home that night, i had a think about everything and i called him to say how much the incident hurt me and he said he was sorry and he actually sounded sorry and sounded like he really wanted to hear what i had to say. so i just told him the only way i could feel secure again was if he was going to be strong for me when we have arguments and understand that that deep down i still want to betogethre, and that he has to tell me how he feels, and try to be considerate and undersand where im coming from. And to tell me if he missed me etc coz even if he felt it, i might not know that and i want to hear it. Like not fake stuff, but if he geniunely feels that way. And yeah we left the convo in a really good note coz he said that he actually does misses me, and that alot of the time he feels that way but i say it before he gets th chance etc etc


However, it still hurts me now because he was willing to risk letting me go.

I don't know what to make of it.

One side of me thinks: okay, he must have just been really angry because we fight so much and i should give him the chance and let this go.
The othrer side thinsk : he was willing to risk letting me go. How much does he realy care...

But I don't know. It still hurts. The truth is i had once did that to him as in i said "Wahtever happens we'll still be friends right" kind of inisnuation i wanted to break up but this was early in the realtonship (around 2 months mark) it is now (4 months) and he was really upset and kept on trying to call me to work it out and he said how much it hurted him because he realised how much he needed me. So he knew howmuch it would hurt but he did it back to me. when i confronted him abou tthat he was just liek " i didn't think of past incident.."

so yeah

im just so confused on wat to do.

i want to be with him but it hurts. is this something i can overcome?

[sglolligirldd]

well ...ppl in general let go easily these days...
its hard to hold onto somthing that hurts u...especially since wer all selfish
but from wat i know,,,guys lets go easy cuz they dont wanna waste time and effort...they get tire EASILY
and since there r sooo mny girls out there, if this one doesnt work, they will of course still be sad...but they'll move on bcuz they believe they'll find a better one that undrstands them more...
being a good friend n being a good gf or bf is totally DIFFERENT. being a friend u have no rite to be angry at smaller things, u wouldn't care as much,,,but if they're ur s/o, u have the rite to get angry and care about smaller details...
itz BECAUSE they are ur s/o that u get angry when they do things that disappoint u...but when u get angry at someone its cuz u care about them...or else who would wanna waste their time & energy to get mad at someone who has nothing to do with their life rite?
but ya...guys do use more common sense n think more with the brain than the heart...
so they'd heal faster and better...
its just life ><

[ShadowMax76]

it hurts you to be with him
he's willing to let you choose to leave him

..from that perspective, he's being loving.

o_O' why would any guy want to keep his gf if she:

- isn't enjoying the relationship
- is thinking about the future of the relationship, and recording every up and down and calculating it's fall and getting overly emotional about it

in this case. why would a guy want to keep his gf if she's better off out of the relationship.
even if she still wants to keep it together. he knows that it's not doing her any good .

- but eh.. i don't think relationships should ever end just because it gets boring. it's as if they were only ever looking for a fuzzy feeling.
if each knows they're willing to work on it. to express and communicate with absolute honesty. o-0' it'll see what's the real answer to it..to leave or not.

_ as for the simple question. the first reply has an interesting point: guys use their brain more than their hearts.
but i really don't think it's simple as that.
when someone is bored of a relationship, they'll stay in it.. until they can't take it anymore.
so when they break it off, the other person is devastated and takes a while.
whilst the heart breaker walks off "free" from the relationship.

[mizz_J]

My bf is actually like that. If i ever wanted to get out of the relationship, he wouldn't stop me, but it will ruin a lot of things for him. He's always giving me choices but i constantly told him that i wasn't ever going to end the relationship. He doesn't care whether we ends up as friends or in a relationship but he is leaning more toward the relationship part. But then, we both know we won't be able to be just friends cause we have strong feelings for each other. He has everything i want and need in a guy so i dont wanna let that go. But he's like that because he cares about me and wants me to be happy but the thing is, the only way i can be happy is if i'm with him.

Like what the posters above me said, guys are like that because they love you. They're willing to let go that easily because they want you to be happy no matter what happens. I honestly wish my bf wasn't like that but then i understand why he is like that. We talk about these kind of stuff a lot.

[bonjour tristesse.]

i think he was so mad because he got offended at what you said about how he treats you and how he treats his friends. cause honestly, think about it. would you seriously choose your boyfriend over your closest friends? i think that eveyrone would choose their friends first before their boyfriends.

and i agree with what someone said above my post ; hes letting you pick the decision.

[h3ll4org3]

honestly i think if you do something, he wont let go, cause guys hvae these times when they just wanna be the one to be approached, and not always the one to approach the other person