[myth]

Mods, I was going to put this in the Ask the Ladies thread, but I feel it's a question that perhaps both sexes can relate to, and the last couple times I tried to ask a relationship question in the Ask the Ladies section I honestly only got one reply. I'm hoping I'll get a bit more response this way. Please don't close unless you feel it's absolutely necessary.

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My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. Early on she said that she loved me pretty often and was very affectionate, but about 7 or 8 months in I noticed that she had stopped saying it and wasn't all that affectionate. Verbal affection is important to me, and hearing it makes me feel content and as though things are good in the relationship. So I asked her why she wasn't saying that she loved me anymore, and she said that she didn't say it because she didn't know if she loved me. We broke up because I felt like, if you're with someone for 7-8 months, and you already said you loved them, why would you stop feeling like you know whether you loved them unless you didn't have feelings for them anymore? I also felt like what's the purpose of being in a relationship after 7 months if the person doesn't love you anymore? You might as well just be friends.

So as I said, we broke up, but the break-up only lasted a month or two, because I could tell that she was heart-broken by it. She's never been a very emotional person (except the first few months we were together), but it was like once I broke up with her she was stuck in stand-still. I had begun to move on a bit, but I could tell that she hadn't at all. She missed me terribly. Was always contacting me, trying to be around me, etc. SO much more than she was when we were together prior to that. She even admitted that she loved me for the first few times in a long while. I thought that maybe the break was what she needed to realize how much she loved me and wanted to be with me. This is the thing though: we've been together for about 6 months since then, and I feel like the same thing is happening all over again. We don't talk for weeks, when we do she's sweet to me and all but the "love you"s are gone, and really the affection I get from her isn't ALL that bf-gf'y.

What do you think the issue is? What do you feel would be my best move from here? Thanks for your time.

[hobobear]

maybe she just was starting to get bored of your relationship, so she didnt say that she loved you as often

also... i think after you guys broke up, her additude was like that because
she wants what she can't have

im no relationship guru, but thats what i can percieve from this.

[MNLV27]

Maybe she did realize that she needed you around her when you guys broke up but then maybe she doesn't love you anymore, she's just so use to having you around her that once you were gone she felt alone.

[-TiFFaNy-]

Talk to her. Tell how her how you feel. Communication is essential to healthy relationship.

[mizz_J]

Yea, you need to talk to her.

I dont really understand it either..

[xabstruse]

the first time, it could have just been she was saying 'I love you' because of being caught up in a new relationship and having those strong feelings at first, but then she realised that it wasn't really love at all and she wasn't ready to say it?

I agree that you should talk it out with her~

[LUX.]

As you did the first time, you should probably ask her about it again.

If she says she's still unsure of whether or not she loves you, then I think you need to break up with her and move on, and not take her back no matter what. Her heightened affection and "love" could have actually been a reflex/immediate reaction to the excitement of first being in a relationship as well as the realization of any sort of loss after a breakup.

If she maintains that she does love and care about you (and you believe her), then I'd think you 2 just need to sort it through. It's possible that she really does love you, but that the momentum of the relationship has worn out, which is a totally natural occurrence, and she's grown complacent with the relationship (which, I'd say is sort of a good thing) that she doesn't feel the need/pull to have to constantly reassure you of her love. Though, If you're set on it and if you haven't already, be sure that she knows how important the verbal reassurance is to you.

[bonjour tristesse.]

it could be that feeling of posession. like when someone you dont like likes you stops liking you and then they move on and like someone else and you end up missing them ; that kinda thing. i dont really think she liked you, i think she just wanted you because she needs someone to be with her to mark her as a taken woman.

but thats just one possibility. i think you should talk to her. if she says the same thing again about her not knowing if she loves you or not .. then dump her. she isnt worth it.

[blue_wishesx3]

hmm maybe it's like the saying "you always want what you cant have"

the best thing that you can do right now.. is to just talk to her.
communication is really important