[ck616]

it's not like i was never loved as a kid or anything
i dunno why but im always really unsure if my bf loves me or not
maybe it's because he is my first bf. We've been together for almost a year and we have no fights. He is very good to me, but the problem seems to be just me.

anytime his voice changes even slightly due to his bad mood i get really upset
and i ALWAYS want to check if he really loves me or not but i dont want to keep asking him because it will seem like i dont trust the fact that he does.
like i want to test his love to see if he would love me even if i do this or if we were to be in some situation.
is this normal when in a relationship or is it my stupid thinking??

[llrbunny]

If he's been dating you for this long, I think that says a lot already.

[Meletta]

Everyone gets insecure about relationships sometimes <3

If he doesn't give you a reason to doubt him, then you shouldn't. (And this doesn't mean looking for a reason to doubt him either )
Some people just aren't that open with their feelings...y'know? (=
If this truly is REALLY bothersome for you, just approach him in a (CAREFUL) way that doesn't make him think you're second-guessing his intentions. <3 I mean, couples should be able to talk honestly to each other, right? <3

[mutters]

guy opinion here. just saying but guys don't reveal feelings that easily that often. and also, guys don't want to be backed into a corner unless he is sure he wants to be there. I suggest you not to pressure him. If you are a high school kid, i'd say this isn't going to be serious, i'm sorry. but if you are in college or beyond, well there is good chance that this might be longer lasting. Seeing as he is your first bf, I'd say you are putting him on a pedestal. Just be aware and don't fall hard if it doesn't work out. there are billions of people in the world, so i'm sure you are not the only one with this trouble. trust me, it'll all be ok eventually.

[moot11]

This is your insecurity and fear of loss speaking.

I think if you continue to be clingy or need, you will drive him away at some point. Have more confidience in yourself, you have already been dating for quite a while, there has to be more than one reason the two of you are together.

Best wishes and don't be so hard on yourself.

[mizz_J]

Oh wow i feel the same way about my bf sometimes.. but we got together not that long ago lol
But i think about the things he say to me and that gives me more confidence about our relationship.

Anyway, some guys aren't that open about their feelings. Deep inside, your bf loves you a lot
Dont doubt anything. Like someone said, you guys have been together for that long already; that should tell you something.

[naito]

Sounds like insecurity. It happens to the best of us. The only thing you can do is give your bf credit enough to know he loves you.

[grainsofrain]

Insecurity.. but should watch it cause it might get annoying?
If he's with you for that long already and still treats you well, it says that he really likes/loves you.
Have a lil more self-esteem :]

[Kira_Hyuu]

Yeah normally when u enter ur first relationship theres always this insecurity of whether they love you or not since it's the first time and ur ensure about the messages and vibes that u let off. Hence u always feel like u need a verbal confirmation or phyiscal intimacy but thats all normal don't worry. Maybe sometimes its just that lost of flare and that can lead to a bit of uncertainity in the relationship - but like ur say u've been together for nearly - so it's normal...

I don't agree with trying to test him cause ur already bf and gf like it's cool to do it when ur dating....adds more spice but now if u do, u might just totally turn him off and he'll just like feel this lack of trust u have for him and just go away.....seen it happen.....usually how first relationships fall apart too....so just hang in there and as long as he's good to u - he must love u on some level....

[bonjour tristesse.]

guys don't reveal feelings that easily that often.

i agree there. also, you mentioned he was your first bf. i think its just your insecurity playing tricks with you because i can bet that if you like him a lot, you dont want him to leave you correct? yeah. insecurity.

[ck616]

Thank you everybody.
yeah all i need is more confidence in myself
and trust in him.
=) <3 love you all

[blue_wishesx3]

everyone can get a little insecure sometimes
me included.

he's been with you for a year already so that should show you that he loves right?

[rachellee39]

I can so relate.
I'm in the same position now. He's my first too. difference is that we've been together for 3 months.

I think it boils down to our self confidence.

so I try to tell myself to relax, and be more confident of myself.
and to remember a piece of advice that one soompier gave me recently:
- that he's lucky to have me.

best of luck! =)

[Miss.Understood]

Stop testing, just live and love.

[AMIbunny]

=/ I totally know how you feel!! Even though my bf and I have been together for 17 months, I constantly ask him if he loves me..if he likes me..if he cares.. >_> Of course he cares..but sometimes..when he hangs out with his friend...I just feel sad sometimes..because he's not with me..and sometimes I think he doesn't care.

I'm trying to improve now. we've been together for 1 year and 5 months! of couse he loves me! or he would have left me already....right?

[Cin De]

shouldn't u FEEL it? well nvm its hard. hahha
but just be happy together!
i'm sure he wouldnt date u for that long if he doesnt like you.