[blue_shoe]

What do you do there?

I'm planning to visit orphanage in my birth place and maybe a nursing home, but I'm never been and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. What if I wanna give some toys and stuffs, but like I can't really afford to give every child a toy should I still do it?

What were your experiences like?

[JJM]

I used to visit a nursing home with my bf when his grandma was still living. We just sit and talk with her. Sometimes we played gin rummy with her. She was the sweetest grandma.

I volunteered at an orphanage once. I helped with a program that brought in cats/dogs to help kids learn and socialize with others. It was fun. I love seeing children and animals happy. Candy, cookies, or snacks are always welcomed items for the kids. Inexpensive and plentiful.

[akira53]

I used to visit my grandpa in a nursing home, but unless you know someone there, I don't see any reason to go there (unless you're volunteering). I hated going there...I thought it was pretty depressing =/
I'm not sure what you're supposed to do at an orphanage if you're just visiting. I agree w/the above suggestion...snacks would be good to bring.

[somegirl]

I've visited nursing homes before. In general, when I have visited the elderly by myself the main point is to listen. They are very lonely, and what they want is someone to talk to.

I've never visited orphanages but my friends who have usually bring little gifts for all the children. Toothbrushes, soap, candy, sneakers,notebooks, pencils, crayons, etc. Sometimes the basics aren't even available in orphanages. We are so used to having everything that we forget that many live without even the basic necessities. But it also depends what country you are going to.

[dramaprincessxox]

I visited an orphanage. They treat the kids well and give them really nice food and toiletries etc, but these poor kids are brought up like a bunch of little pets. People are nice to pets and feed them. Children need more than that--they need guidance and love. And those kids were getting zero of that.
I felt really sorry for them.

[Yubumsuk]

I volunteer at a Korean orphanage on Sundays, and do some English lessons, games, and songs with some of the middle and high school kdis there. Perhaps the orphanage where I volunteer is exceptional, but the kids are really well taken care of. Most of the kids would fit more into the category of foster children, not parentless; their parents just can't take care of them for whatever reason. I'd never want to work with North American foster children just because so many of them are so screwed up, violent, malicious, or vindictive, but the Korean kids are really nice.

[aiaigasa]

i volunteered at a nursing home before... really depressing place ><
like someone said, old people are lonely. they usually really like talking to people. when i was there we served them dinner and such.

[HERMIT]

Ultimately, I've never personally volunteered my time at either place because I just couldn't fathom which place would be better for changing diapers.

I think that if you want to treat the children at an orphanage to some kind of gift, just bringing candies or making a bunch of cupcakes or goodies like that would be a fairly inexpensive gesture that could conceivably cover the whole lot of them.

[YUNA!]

No I haven't visited an orphanage, but I have visited a nursing home when my grandpa was there.

However, I do work at a children's hospital and it's really depressing sometimes. There's kids that's not about five years old that look mentally ill, young teenagers in wheelchairs and more. I think working in these kinds of places brings life back into perspectives, as I used to complain about all my small little problems. Even though it's sort of a depressing environment to work in, it's times like those that reminds me how much just a bright smile and a little comment can mean to a little child that is suffering. =)

[blue_shoe]

I volunteer at a Korean orphanage on Sundays, and do some English lessons, games, and songs with some of the middle and high school kdis there. Perhaps the orphanage where I volunteer is exceptional, but the kids are really well taken care of. Most of the kids would fit more into the category of foster children, not parentless; their parents just can't take care of them for whatever reason. I'd never want to work with North American foster children just because so many of them are so screwed up, violent, malicious, or vindictive, but the Korean kids are really nice.

Is the Korean orphanage you talk about in the US?

i volunteered at a nursing home before... really depressing place ><
like someone said, old people are lonely. they usually really like talking to people. when i was there we served them dinner and such.

Ultimately, I've never personally volunteered my time at either place because I just couldn't fathom which place would be better for changing diapers.

I think that if you want to treat the children at an orphanage to some kind of gift, just bringing candies or making a bunch of cupcakes or goodies like that would be a fairly inexpensive gesture that could conceivably cover the whole lot of them.

Maybe you should try because chances are you will be in nursing home someday...better start earning your karma

No I haven't visited an orphanage, but I have visited a nursing home when my grandpa was there.

However, I do work at a children's hospital and it's really depressing sometimes. There's kids that's not about five years old that look mentally ill, young teenagers in wheelchairs and more. I think working in these kinds of places brings life back into perspectives, as I used to complain about all my small little problems. Even though it's sort of a depressing environment to work in, it's times like those that reminds me how much just a bright smile and a little comment can mean to a little child that is suffering. =)

that's where my aim is at Yuna...

[HERMIT]

Maybe you should try because chances are you will be in nursing home someday...better start earning your karma

Well, I have already started wearing my "grampers"on occasion ... so I guess I've already got a headstart in that regard. But god willing, my health will hold out long enough for me to even make it into a nursing home.

But if I do, maybe you can visit me.

[taemoo]

Visited couple orphanages when I was in Korea. We brought toys but the kids didn't seem too interested, they just wanted to play with us or wanted some affection.

[wolfwolf]

i wanted to work in one but its hard to get a job there.

i love talking to the elders cuz the job im at right now, 90% of them are all in their 60's.

[[HyuNi]]

I've visited nursing homes before. In general, when I have visited the elderly by myself the main point is to listen. They are very lonely, and what they want is someone to talk to.

Very good advice.
I've been to a few nursing homes before.
Many treat you like their children and some even call you be their childrens' names.
To be honest, I don't think they are as interested to talk to you, but to actually have someone listening.

Some have some really interesting stories, because (if you plan to go to an asian nursing home) they were one of the first asian generations to come to the United States and listening to their experiences and success stories are inspiring.

I visited an orphanage. They treat the kids well and give them really nice food and toiletries etc, but these poor kids are brought up like a bunch of little pets. People are nice to pets and feed them. Children need more than that--they need guidance and love. And those kids were getting zero of that.
I felt really sorry for them.

I've been to a couple orphanages when I went to Bolivia two summers ago. Their place was actually really cool. The facility was really nice, up in the mountains with banana trees and the amazon river filled with fish and stuff. The building itself was also in great condition and the children were well taken care of.
I completely agree though. They were provided with things that help sustain their physical bodies, but there was little to no love or affection. That's no reflection on the workers/volunteers, though. It's extremely difficult to give that level of care and attention to so many children who have never received it.
They were CRAVING for any type of affection or love. They were super friendly and would hug you or ask you to carry them on your shoulders. I was really touched by their innocence.
But, when it was time to leave, it was like they knew the drill. Those children flipped the switch and went from clingly and attention craving to instantly indifferent. They knew that we had just come to visit and wouldn't be seeing us on a regular basis.
I found it odd when we were leaving and I was waving bye and they either had blank stares or just ignored us. It pained my heart to realize later that it was just a learned response from all their previous experiences with people coming for a day, playing with them, giving them attention and affection, and then leaving.

Everyone's advice here was great, but if I had to add one more bit of advice, if you're not planning to go back regularly, maintain a certain distance. Giving them love is great, but if it's only once every year or so, it may be doing more harm than good. They become conditioned to believe that 'love' is a commodity when it should be a God given right to give & receive.

[blue_shoe]

^ man now I don't want to go...I don't want them to be like "oh hell here goes again"...

don't they have love from each other?

[Tuxedomask]

I use to do volunteer work for a nursing home. It was a lot of fun actually heh. It's nice to sit there and just chat and listen to their stories, you should see their eyes light up when they know you're actually listening and taking the time to talk to them.
It's usually fun when we play bingo and hall bowling with them.

[Yubumsuk]

Is the Korean orphanage you talk about in the US?

No, it's in Daegu. I do know someone who worked at a group home in LA that was just for recently arrived Korean kids whose families had problems.

While I'm not terribly familiar with foster systems in the US, I do think that the kids at the orphanage where I volunteer are much better off than typical American foster kids who end up at group homes. For some reason when people talk about Korean orphanages they tend to think of something out of M.A.S.H. but that's certainly not the case anymore.

[taemoo]

Everyone's advice here was great, but if I had to add one more bit of advice, if you're not planning to go back regularly, maintain a certain distance. Giving them love is great, but if it's only once every year or so, it may be doing more harm than good. They become conditioned to believe that 'love' is a commodity when it should be a God given right to give & receive.

Great thoughts...it sucks either way. Was in a korean orphanage when I was young, not a toddler, would only have visitors 2 or 3 times a year. I'd rather have one time visitors than no visitors at all. After 20 years, I still remember those handful of days I had visitors.

[[HyuNi]]

^ man now I don't want to go...I don't want them to be like "oh hell here goes again"...
don't they have love from each other?

Great thoughts...it sucks either way. Was in a korean orphanage when I was young, not a toddler, would only have visitors 2 or 3 times a year. I'd rather have one time visitors than no visitors at all. After 20 years, I still remember those handful of days I had visitors.

Sorry, I didn't mean to discourage visiting, it's a good experience.
I just wanted to warn against the idea of changing someone's lives in one day.

Visiting was actually really fun. I mentioned earlier that I went to a few orphanages in Bolivia and apparently, 'Hallyu' has even spread all the way over there. They asked me if I know Kwon Sang Woo & Choi Ji woo. I was surprised to say the least, but then realized that they were watching 'Stairway to Heaven' via video tapes. haha

The kids I met were so well behaved and generous, not like the kids I teach in Sunday school. haha I didn't have to worry about anyone sneaking behind me and giving me a 'ddong jjim' or punching me in the butt or privates. Also, I was amazed by the amount of bananas they had. It was like close to 8 sets of 100 bananas from a stem. They were like, "take it! take it!" in Spanish and I was like, um... how? haha

[Meenuh]

No, it's in Daegu. I do know someone who worked at a group home in LA that was just for recently arrived Korean kids whose families had problems.

While I'm not terribly familiar with foster systems in the US, I do think that the kids at the orphanage where I volunteer are much better off than typical American foster kids who end up at group homes. For some reason when people talk about Korean orphanages they tend to think of something out of M.A.S.H. but that's certainly not the case anymore.

Can I have some information on that group home? If you don't mind.