[and i sayd]

I read a article at my cousins house that suggested that women can benefit themselves by learning a "male" style of communication, including, for example, giving direct orders. Such behaviors, these researchers argue, could help women to win the respect of men in the business and relationship world, thus advancing their careers and love life. Do you agree? Basically he's saying for women to be more blunt about things and taking the initiative?

[Gummy Dogs]

OOHHH if women actually took the initiative, my life would be a lot easier

[ArmelleLIN]

In a psychology class text book I learned that women often got taken advantage of, or were put down and not given the same amount of seriousness as men, because they were more aware of and cared about other people's feelings and what not. Whereas men were more ambitious and did things directly. So I guess I agree with that

[chopstick^^]

It is true to some extent. Because they are talking about a particular personality traits, such as confident, being a man.
Maybe this type of blunt woman can attract a buisness man, but not all sort's of men.

[mz_imperfect]

Haha, I knew I was meant for the business world. People often say I am fairly blunt, but I tend to sway towards my 'feminine' characteristics and try to be as intuitive as I can so I'm not too rude.

There was also this research done where the placed 2 people from both genders and all age groups in an empty room and they said that the most insightful conversation were those between teenage boys and not once did they even look at each other while girls had more eye contact and were more 'personal' in a sense. And to be honest, I never realized that I don't look people in the eye at times when I talk to them until I heard of this. I just look forward which can be a bit strange at times.

As for your article, I must agree. It's 2009. We've been given the right to vote and are said to be treated as equal as men. So why would we go backwards and stay in the back while the men get all the glory? Sorry, but I am all about women's rights and if all the women before us were able to sacrifice so much to get us equality, we have to fight to keep it. If a man ever thought he could walk all over me and disrespect me... lord knows he's got another thing coming.

[Xiaoba1tu]

I read this somewhere too. I think it works like this, if you give an order, make it as blunt and direct as possible. Eg. "Today is Tuesday. I want you to take out the rubbish now please." Not, "Aren't you supposed to take out the rubbish today?"
(Not exactly those words, but it was a while since I read it)
I tried it on my bro and it seemed to work.

[Lie]

Usually when they do they're labeled a b**** and people think, "Man, what's HER problem?" Most guys aren't comfortable with really assertive, direct women.

[JJ no Baka]

OOHHH if women actually took the initiative, my life would be a lot easier

The thing is, more men will feel that they are "whipped" if their wife/girlfriend/SO directly tells them to do things or bluntly state it. I know for sure I'm really blunt to some of my guy friends, and they all joked about how they'll feel sorry for my future boyfriend/husband because they are going to be whipped.

[joogrlpekaun]

Usually when they do they're labeled a b**** and people think, "Man, what's HER problem?" Most guys aren't comfortable with really assertive, direct women.

Yeah, pretty much what I've noticed, but I think the trick is mostly not to go overboard. Directness can be fine, but trying too hard to be assertive can come off more as aggressiveness and get you labeled as a b**** or a "man," unfortunately.

[ShadowMax76]

I read this somewhere too. I think it works like this, if you give an order, make it as blunt and direct as possible. Eg. "Today is Tuesday. I want you to take out the rubbish now please." Not, "Aren't you supposed to take out the rubbish today?"
(Not exactly those words, but it was a while since I read it)
I tried it on my bro and it seemed to work.

YES.

The thing is, more men will feel that they are "whipped" if their wife/girlfriend/SO directly tells them to do things or bluntly state it. I know for sure I'm really blunt to some of my guy friends, and they all joked about how they'll feel sorry for my future boyfriend/husband because they are going to be whipped.

a lot of guys like being whipped. :] gives them an excuse to act feminine and submissive.

eh~ how else would a woman get a man's respect?
@_@ definitely not the womanly silent treatment. or saying "i'm fine" when they're not. or the nagging/put downs/emotional outbursts.

i think most guys like to do tasks for most people.
they just need simple instructions.
not attitude. x_x' which.. women are full of. LOL _ the result of expectations.. >>'
guess some guys like to take advantage and ask for incentives.

[happy_tomato]

-~----------~-----------------------care to post a link?

[and i sayd]

Usually when they do they're labeled a b**** and people think, "Man, what's HER problem?" Most guys aren't comfortable with really assertive, direct women.

those men are the one who always want control and such I suppose, I rather have a girl be direct with me esp. in a relationship I don't her assuming things on her own which leads to a breakup

[Cin De]

loll..... i'm really blunt, but i know wat to say and wat NOT to say.
a lot of ppl tell me i talk like a guy... =[... haha
i do make guy friends more than girls tho

[joogrlpekaun]

those men are the one who always want control and such I suppose, I rather have a girl be direct with me esp. in a relationship I don't her assuming things on her own which leads to a breakup

What really bugs me is how often I hear guys say they wish women would just be direct with them, but then the same people turn around and say things like "Wow, you're really blunt" or "You're such a man" when you actually are pretty direct. Then they become your friend if they still like your personality and they respect you while choosing to continue to date the more feminine, passive (or passive-aggressive) girls, which prompts more complaining about why women can't just be direct and say what they mean when their girlfriends don't. I don't doubt that many men do actually prefer directness in their women, but it seems to me like many men say one thing while their actions say the opposite.

[h0ney]

i think women can be firm without being blunt or too overpowering
woman want to be loved, not feared..
men will respect you by the way you present yourself i reckon..

[sPark*]

loll..... i'm really blunt, but i know wat to say and wat NOT to say.
a lot of ppl tell me i talk like a guy... =[... haha
i do make guy friends more than girls tho

i feel you LOL
but im less "not girly" around guys i actually am interested in/like (very very few... for several years... none )

[HaplessChild]

I read a article at my cousins house that suggested that women can benefit themselves by learning a "male" style of communication, including, for example, giving direct orders. Such behaviors, these researchers argue, could help women to win the respect of men in the business and relationship world, thus advancing their careers and love life. Do you agree? Basically he's saying for women to be more blunt about things and taking the initiative?

It works fantastically. It's not so much about behaving like a male as it is behaving like an adult, not playing mind games, not trying to get him to mind read and not flying off the handle and behaving like a 6 year old when you don't get your way. If you have something to say, say it. Don't beat around the bush, don't play guessing games, don't be scared of reactions. Think about what your issue is, roll it over in your mind what the polite, tactful and direct communication would be and deliver without pause or heightened emotion.

I do this with my bf, it works like a charm, I get what I want when I ask directly and nicely. People in general, not just men, usually appreciate well formed honesty and confident communication.

[yawningtigress]

What really bugs me is how often I hear guys say they wish women would just be direct with them, but then the same people turn around and say things like "Wow, you're really blunt" or "You're such a man" when you actually are pretty direct. Then they become your friend if they still like your personality and they respect you while choosing to continue to date the more feminine, passive (or passive-aggressive) girls, which prompts more complaining about why women can't just be direct and say what they mean when their girlfriends don't. I don't doubt that many men do actually prefer directness in their women, but it seems to me like many men say one thing while their actions say the opposite.

I've seen this. They want one thing but they say they'd rather have another thing. Is it that they don't know what they want or what? Maybe they want someone sort of in between, or they do just want a shy and beat-around-the-bush type of girl for girlfriends because those kinds of girls are cute to them. Guys need to straighten out what they want and what they say they want. It's confusing for girls, too! I myself would want a guy who prefers more blunt girls because I get straight to the topic. I hate wasting time, and I don't know why guys would stand for girls who would waste their time by being wishy washy and not straightforward.

[HaplessChild]

Don't confuse being direct with being rude. Simple phrases like "when you ______ it hurts my feelings," or "if you would _______ it would make me very happy," come across as direct and still slightly feminine.

I cuss at my bf, tell him I hate him and generally just kind of talk dirty to him. This is not for everyone.

[another member]

i think women can be firm without being blunt or too overpowering
woman want to be loved, not feared..
men will respect you by the way you present yourself i reckon..

I agree with this. It seems like it's more about the way a woman would carry herself. Be straight up with people, not beat around the bush. Giving confident answers to questions and direct requests would probably help a woman gain respect from not just men, but everyone.